Friday Funnies: Flashbacks

Friday Funnies

 

February of 2022, Erin Dunham helped transform the lady on the left to the woman on the right for a trip to the Green Briar. I waited until one week before to tell her where we were going for a weekend away, and when I said the words, "Green Briar," Erin's face got this ghastly look on it. She said, "Wendi, you have nothing to wear to that."

She was right. But, thankfully, the Internet exists and we did some fast acting work, and suddenly, I didn't look too shabby. A little better than my traditional farm wear. :)

Friday Funnies

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Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

 

Friday Funny Flashback

November 5, 2016

Isaac: "Mommy, Hannah has the water running and her foot in the sink."

Me: "Hannah is that true?"

Hannah: "No. It was two feet actually."

November 5, 2012 

When I came to say good night to the boys, Sidge informed me that Daddy had just told them a story in front of the fireplace about "Uncle Map" and "Uncle Wob". Matthew Kitsteiner and Rob Kitsteiner! (Sorry Ray -- Ray Kitsteiner, you didn't make the cut.)

Friday Funnies

“It’s so weird to think of your parents flirting,” Abigail said. 

“Yeah,” Hannah agreed. “They are to married to be flirting.”

Friday Funnies

This is John and me. I'd like to tell you that I'm the Scandinavian. But alas ... I am not.

 

Friday Funnies

Me: “I have asked you to empty the drying rack three times.” 

Child: “You told me I didn’t do it, but I didn’t know that meant I needed to do it.”

 

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The following are Friday Funnies that Abigail has been recording for a few weeks:

 

Sidge: "Foots don’t belong in peoples faces."

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Abigail said, “Hey, Siri.” Siri responded, “Hey, what’s up? Just responding to three million people saying 'hey Siri’ at the same time.”

 

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At Pelican Snowballs we were talking about the band King and Country. Cousin Char didn’t think they were brothers. She said, "But they don’t look anything alike." Abigail replied: "Well, their parents don’t look anything alike either."

 

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Abigail didn’t know George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush were related 🤦🏼‍♀️

 

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Hannah was watching a commercial with old people in bathing suits jumping into the water. "Is it just me or do old people have really long butts?"

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Hannah twerking says, "My butt is uncontrollably dancing."  

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Joni was brushing off her drawing paper using mechanical pencil, and Hannah said, "I think I just flicked graphite at you."

 

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While watching the Olympics, an ad came up for Olympics with break dancing. John said, "I can’t believe Olympics is a break dancing sport."

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Our friend Hosea suddenly said: "If a nuclear bomb went off I would die."

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Aug-5-24

 

Cousin Eoin stabs Hosea. Sidge tells them, "If you're gonna be wrestling, go outside."

Hosea: "We weren't wrestling."

Cousin Genevieve: "He just took a light saber and stabbed him."

Abigail pretends to be Eoin and says, "I’m not wrestling, I’m murdering.”

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While watching the movie Dan in Real Life, Isaac asks if the lead character has a wife. "I'm guessing he's divorced?"

Abigail: "Or dead." (Talking about the wife.)

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JB: "I love avocado guacamole."

 

Hilarious

Brother-in-law, Eddie D. Sent John this picture today. John thought they were talking about a mushroom. Eddie was talking about a snake. Cracked me up. 

Friday Funnies

 

"No you cannot do naked arabesques on the Ninja equipment."

(Said after the arabesques were complete.)

 

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While watching the Men's University of Miami basketball game, Abigail said: "Who are all those guys sitting on the benches on the sidelines? Judges?"

 

I told her those were coaches.

 

"All of them? How many coaches does a team need?"

A few Funnies

Me: "Hannah, I need some fuel. I need to give me a hug?"

Hannah: "I think you should just go to the gas station. I'm not in the mood."

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Me: "Hannah, how did you get so cute?"

JB: "She got it from her sister."

Hannah: "Nope, I got it from my Daddy."

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Me: “Who gave you permission to watch a show?”

Girl child: “Well, you were napping.”

Other girl child: “So we got permission from our brothers.”

Me (to older brothers): “And how are you able to make that decision?”

One older brother: “Well, we have become semi-mature humans and felt capable of making the decision.”

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Me: “Everyone pack a lunch for today.”

Four children: “There’s no food.”

Me: “Find food or pay $10 of your own money to buy food at grocery store.”

Four children: (miraculously find food)

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

Hannah had to do her Xtra Math website that she does each day. She said to me: "What a horrible name for a website? Don't they know kids won't want to do anything called Xtra connected to Math?"

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Aquariums make such an awful noise. It sounds like all the fish are peeing.

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And a flashback Friday Funny for Old Time's Sake:

Friday Funnies

Abigail: Is that beer?

Me: yes

Abigail: a certain kind?

Me: yes

Abigail: what kind?

Me: an IPA

Abigail: are there different types of IPA’s?

Me: yes, lots

Abigail: so… they are kind of like subspecies of beer

Me: … well, yes. 

Friday Funnies

Real conversation this evening with my 8 and 10-year-old daughters as my wife (Wendi Huisman Kitsteiner) was packaging eggs from our laying chickens…

First daughter: “Dad, chickens don’t lay eggs from their butts, right?”

Me: “No. Birds don’t have butts. They only have one hole. It’s called a cloaca.”

First daughter: “They pee and poop out of their cloaca?”

Me: “Yes. Birds and reptiles and amphibians all have cloacas.”

Son (who I didn’t know was listening): “Fish do, too.”

Me: “Nice. Yes, some fish have cloacas also.”

Second daughter: “Wait… do they mate out of that hole also?”

Me: “Yes.”

First daughter: “Wow! That’s quite a hole. It does everything!”

Me: “… uh… well… yes.”

I didn’t really have a response to that statement.

Friday Funnies

I stumbled upon this old video of my kids -- from April 2015. (Time, please SLOW DOWN!) I am not sure what makes me laugh harder: Sidge doing ballet, Hannah yelling: "SEE!" over and over and over again, or little Abigail coming in with a "PHOTO BOMB!" What a crazy life I get the privilege of having.

Friday Funnies

I jokingly told Sidge I may have him repeat sixth grade and do all the same work over again. “Well,” he said. “That’s ok. I’d excel.” 

We were talking to Sidge about piano. It doesn’t come easily to him, but he said he wanted to keep taking lessons. “I like being able to play a song,” he said. “I mean, I won’t be Mozart. But that’s ok.”

Hannah was lingering over the brownies trying to get another. “Hannah,” I said. “You just don’t give up.” 

“True,” she replied. 

Friday Funnies

Our farm has turned a page in our play book. Finally bit the bullet and bought some heavy equipment.

12-year-old Sidge was immediately interested in learning how to use it.

“I got it down, Mom. Dad said I’m on my way to being able to use it. I’m working on figuring out how to lift my sisters up in the front bucket.”

John smiled and informed him he just backed himself us three years on permission to use it.

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Me: “I need you to get totally ready for ballet.”

Anonymous Child: “Do I have to get dressed?”

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The type of texts that go back and forth on the phone of permaculture guys:

Friday Funnies: Grown-up Raptor Style

 As the kids get older, our Friday Funnies become things I have to be careful sharing. They don't want "their stuff" put out there for everyone all willy-nilly.

But this is a good one.

Yesterday I rolled over as the sun was seeping in through my window to see that John had already woken up. He was on his phone and there was a picture of a girl on his screen.

I playfully said: "Who's the girl, John?"

He smiled coyly and said: "She's a Raptor scientist."

He was, of course, dead serious. She was some bird specialist he was reading an article about. But for some reason, this struck me as hilariously funny. Funny because this is the extent of his "cheating." Bird women. 

I caught the giggles. I started laughing so hard. 

I forgot that Abigail was sleeping on a mat at the foot of our bed. (That's a long story for another post.) Suddenly her little blonde head peeps up and she sleepily says: "What's so funny Mama?"

I tried not to repeat the story because I knew she wouldn't get it whatsoever, but I finally just said "Dad had a picture of a Raptor scientist on his phone."

Of course, Abigail loves birds. Is very, very preoccupied with them. Wants to be an ornitholigst but wants to make sure that she doesn't end up overseeing researchers. "I only want to do if I can be a researcher myself and actually be with the birds," she has said often.

So she scrunched up her nose and said: "What is funny about a raptor scientist?"

This made me laugh even harder.

"Seriously Mom," she said. "Why are you laughing?"

I just couldn't even attempt to explain my life living with all these nature-loving people ...