220 pounds

 

This is a post for ME. If you want to read it, that's great, but I want to remember THIS. Now.

My whole life, I have been incredibly skinny. When I left for college in 1995, I was 6'3" and 155 pounds. I am still 6'3" but am now 220 pounds. (Actually 213 thank you very much!)

I always knew I was going to be tall. But I knew I did not want to big and tall. This is no offense to anyone who is. However, when you are already so tall, commanding an even larger presence was just something I didn't want to do.

I have never had to watch what I ate. In fact, until I graduated from college/basketball, I was constantly striving to eat more food. I can't be sure, but I think I probably consumed upwards of 6-7,000 calories a day in college. I ate everything in SIGHT and could barely gain a pound. When I graduated from college, I weighed 175 pounds. 

I don't remember all the details, but I know that at my highest pregnancy weight I was 211. I also know that prior to Hannah's birth, when I was in the throngs of a major depression, I got as low as 164 again.

Most people don't notice this on me. When you are as tall as me, there is a lot of forgiveness that goes with this.

But it is NOT okay with me. Since we have moved to the farm, I have found that I can no longer "eat anything." This correlates pretty accurately with hitting 40 years old and changing seasons of my life. I am incredibly active, but my weight is simply too high.

A normal BMI for my heigh is 200 pounds. I am 20 pounds over that. 

I have refrained from talking about it on my Blog because I don't want my daughters to read this years from now. I am very conscious to never say I am fat or to talk about body image in front of them. I am doing WeighWatchers now, and honestly, while this is somewhat about what I look like, it is more about what I feel like. It's about how easily I can get off the floor after playing with my kids. I want to feel better. And so I need to do this.

So I am posting these pictures to remember me at 220 pounds. I hope to be on here in the next six months, significantly less weight.

I am also going to be posting some recipes (below) as I come up with them, for future reference for myself! I want to be able to remember how I got to where I am going.

• Amazing Stovetop Brussel Sprouts!