25 Things to remember when I feel like a failure as a parent

"A good mom has bad days & great days & normal days & overwhelming days & perfect days & trying days & supermom days & just being a mom days & a whole lot of love & real & crazy motherhood days." 

What I really looked like this morning

vs. what I wish in my head I looked like this morning

Tuesday is always a hard day for me. It's jam-packed with activities (gymnastics, speech, three different ballets, and karate.) John and I have spoken often about trying to change how heavy this day is, but we simply have not been able to alleviate the load. 

John is working a lot. So it's just me. And so I'm sitting here, way past my bedtime, feeling sorry for myself. Feeling like I've failed my kids today. My husband today. Myself today.

My truth:

• I lost my cool once.
• I lost my cool twice.
• I lost my cool three times.
• I maybe lost it a fourth time.
• We had two woofers here to help on the farm. They didn't need me. All I had to do was raise the children today.
• I was tired.
• I was crabby.
• I ate badly.
• I failed to solve an argument between my boys.
• I didn't feed my kids great today.
• I had a kid get scratched and have an allergic reaction to a cat.
• I had a kid drop their entire plate of spaghetti on the floor. 
• I have a kid crying as I write this because they miss Dad, and I am not able to make them feel better.
• I dropped balls.

I could go on. But I'll stop. I realized, as I was sitting here, that dwelling on me stinking at this job isn't going to help. 

So I decided to switch it around and think about some of the FACTS of motherhood and today.

If you are feeling like me, today, or any other day in the future ... if you are feeling like you just stink at being a mom (or a dad!), here are some things for me (and YOU!) to remember:

1. That I feel worse when I am tired (or stressed!)
2. That I show up. EVERY. DAY. (Not all employees do that!)
3. That it is the sum of days (not just today!) that will define my children.
4. That my children see all of me. The bad AND the good.
5. That love goes a long way. I love them. I love them. And I love them some more.
6. That if I care about being a screw-up, then I actually care.
7. That my God is a God of grace.
8. That I can make changes. 
9. That tomorrow can be different.
10. That tomorrow can be better.
11. That talking realistically about parenthood and how wonderfully hard it is, allows us all to feel less alone in the challenges.
12. That I am not necessarily to blame for my kids' bad attitudes or behavior.  
13. That my kids are alive today. 
14. That my kids did not get permanently injured today. 
15. That my kids ate enough food and drank enough water to live today. 
16. That this job is hard.
17. That I must acknowledge all I did do today.
18. That the perfect mom I see in my mind doesn't exist.
19. That being involved in my kids' lives means a lot.
20. That I should think on what is true.
21. That I should pray.
22. That I am dearly loved.
23. That I am gifted by God for this job.
24. That I need to give myself permission to take a time-out (or a bubble bath!)
25. That I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.