"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do." Matt Walsh
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| Abigail stretching in her age-appropriate class on Mondays. |
Abigail has been taking a ballet class on Tuesdays with much older kids for about half a year. She made the decision after an invitation from the ballet director, Lori Ann, to participate in this class and she has been thoroughly enjoying it.
There is one young girl, Sophie, who has been there every single week. She's probably the closest to Abigail in age and while all the older girls are wonderful to her, Sophie is Abigail's security blanket in the class.
I didn't realize how much though until last night.
Last night, Sophie wasn't there.
And Abigail LOST it.
She was sobbing. Hyperventilating. I considered just letting her go home, but I instantly knew that I couldn't do this. Abigail has come so far with her shyness and introverted self. I knew that if I let her "quit" because of this change, it would happen again.
We had to get through it.
So after about 15-20 minutes of her sobbing, and me trying to get her to calm down, and her going back out, but then someone seeing her crying and asking her about it which would send her into crying again, Lori Ann, the ballet director, stepped in. I told her what was going on, and she said she agreed with my decision not to let Abigail out of class.
When Abigail could not calm herself down, I decided to hand her over to LoriAnn and simply leave the studio.
I stood downstairs just crying and pacing. It is so incredible how much your heart walks around outside of your body when you are a parent. You love these little people so much, but you know that tough love is part of that love.
Abigail ended up succeeding in the class. She made it through the rest of the class. When I came in at the very end, she looked like nothing had even gone wrong. LoriAnn told me later that she paired her with Elizabeth Bosse who Abigail knows well, and purposefully did combinations that Abigail would feel success with.
It was truly one of my hardest parenting nights I've ever had. But truly one of the most rewarding. I'm so appreciative of another quality adult (Lori Ann) who had my back. I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns. And I'm proud of Abigail. She's come soooo far.
2 comments:
It's so hard to know when to push them, and when to not force the issue. We can't get Iver (4) through swim lessons or dental visits without major terror meltdowns, despite him being ready/"fine" when we've talked about it, prepared him, role-played ahead of time, multiple times. It's like a switch goes off, and all rational thinking/coping mechanisms go away. I never know whether to force it or try again when he's a bit older because it's scary for me (and other kids/patients). I hate to "give in" because it can be a very slippery slope with him, but I'm trying to be less rigid, as I can only fight so many hard battles-- parenthood is brutal. You have good intuition and glad she got through it!
Good job Momma! Parenting an anxious child is tough, we know it well. And it sounds like you did everything right. It's so hard to do well, but she will thank you in the end.
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