To my firstborn son,

 I didn't give you

The gift of life,

But in my heart I know

The love I feel is 

Deep and real,

As if it had been so.

For us to have 

each other

is like a dream come true.

No, I didn't give you

The gift of life.

Life gave me

The gift of you.

Author Unknown

Dear Isaac,

This morning I stumbled upon this photo of you with your beloved "Small Dog" and "Blue Bear." These two stuffed animals remain your absolute favorite, and you have yet to sleep a night without them.

Maybe I was already feeling nostalgic when I took you to play your two festival songs for a veteran piano teacher in the area. Your own teacher wanted this other woman to hear your songs and see if she had missed anything in her teaching and preparing you for your competition this weekend. 

As you played one of your songs (Prelude in C), I found myself so nervous, I had to shut my eyes. I just listened to you playing and didn't watch you or the "judge" at all. About halfway through the song, I realized ... I was crying.

Now I am not sure what I will be like when you read this letter someday when you are older. Maybe I'll be a hormonal bunch of tears. (I mean, your Papa Coach never cried when I was growing up and now he's just a pile of sap when it comes to his eight grandchildren.) For an easy crier, crying during a song, might not be a big deal. But I am not an easy crier. I don't cry that often, and rarely at happy things. 

But I had tears in my eyes. I was so moved by my ten-year-old and his God-given gift with music and the fact that I had been given the privilege of raising him and loving him for this last decade, that I just found myself with tears streaming down my face.*

Of course, it wasn't the piano that was making me cry.

My love for you? Oh I can confirm to you in every way that is absolutely identical to your three younger siblings. You are my boy. You are our Isaac. Heck, a lot of people have always told me you even look more like me then any of your siblings.

I love you Isaac John. I am so proud of you. I continue to pray that you will be the man the Lord called you to be. I pray that He will use your hands to bring peace to people from all walks of life. I pray that your quiet spirit and dry humor will be a loyal friend to those in need of your kindness. And most of all, I pray that I have the honor to see you grow into a man filled with peace and faith.

Love,

Your Mom

P.S. To anyone reading this letter who thinks that adoption is second-best or second-rate ... you are just wrong. Period. Yes, adoption has many other facets that have to be considered and understood. There is loss involved and sadness and grief. Jody Landers wrote, "A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me." While Bri knows she did the right thing, it doesn't mean that her decision to place Isaac in our arms was easy or pain-free.