Monday, May 24, 2010

Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Judy Woodford said...

Very good!!! great list!!

Karey said...

That is a great list!

I've been meaning to comment on your blog ever since you left one on mine. While I hadn't visited your blog in recent months (probably because before we adopted I pretty much stayed away from blogs with babies!), I do remember reading that you had conceived after adopting, and I honestly thought of you when this all happened to me. And wow.. I can totally relate to your past posts about finding out you were pregnant, and your reflections on pregnancy after adoption. I know how rare this is, so it's great to find someone who I can really relate to. I'm definitely going to use your blog as a resource in the coming months!

Gabbs said...

This was good. Here are a couple more:

I live on the street where the live concert was held.

I read the book already so I will not read it again.

Anonymous said...

And then there is THIS classic:
We had to comb the building for the bomb before its room became a tomb!

Bruce Woodford said...

Hi Wendy,

Joia's Dad here...I rarely comment on blogs but when Judy read me yours a few days ago, I knew I had to send you the following. It's the EU's plan to make English much more practical!

Urgent Announcement by EU

The news is that the European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English."

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan haveone less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f'. This will make words like "fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent"e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "V'.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve wil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALl KUM TRU!! And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!