Reflections

So, some of you have asked for my reflections on the four weeks I spent in Nigeria. I know my blogs were fairly scattered while I was there -- shoved in between occasional electricity and occasional internet availability.

Quite honestly, I am really not sure how to actually put into words the details of our four weeks. Anytime I start talking to someone and attempt to share the details of our journey, things ultimately sound very trite and very cliche. JB and Ajit are speaking at our CMDA (Christian Medical & Dental Association) Bible Study tonight about our trip. As we started flipping through pictures, I realized that the pictures I had, that I thought would capture our experiences, were really just sort of, well, pictures. Pictures can't explain four weeks of experiences. They too seemed trite and cliche.

One of the main questions that people have asked me is: "So ... do you guys want to be missionaries?" If you remember, before I left, one of my chief requests for prayer was that the Lord would give us guidance on our future with medicine and missions. We have returned and, quite honestly, I still really don't know how to answer that question. In some ways, our month in Nigeria made me feel like being a missionary is too hard for me. How could I possibly surround myself in such a foreign culture for life? In other ways, I think, how could I not be a missionary after what we have just seen. I guess the only thing I can say for sure is that we definitely feel called to missionary work in some form or fashion. Only time and the Lord will show us how involved we are and where we are involved. We can see ourselves working for an organization like Faith Alive from the United States, visiting on occasion. We can also see ourselves working in a country full-time or going over periodically. We really do not know. We do know that we definitely want to return to Faith Alive and Jos at some point. We really believe in their organization.

Speaking of Faith Alive, some of you have asked me about donating to them. I am working on providing the best means of donations if you are interested. I will post when I have more information.

Dr. Phil Fischer said something to me on this trip that has really stayed with me. We were all talking in the living room the night he flew into Nigeria, somehow trying to digest the last month of our lives. I asked him how someone could live in a place like Nigeria and not give away everything they have? I was referring to the fact that people were so poor and so in need, that I couldn't let them go home without helping. If I were a "Dr. Chris" (which I could never possibly be), I would want to be just like him. I would want to open my home to everyone and share everything.

Dr. Fischer said something extremely profound. He asked me how I could live in the U.S. and not give away everything I have? This was extremely eye opening to me. If we end up living in the U.S., our attitude should be the exact same. People are in need whether I live in the same town as them or across the world from them. The need is still there and should be just as important to me no matter where I live.

I was extremely pleased that I was able to "handle" the things I had to "handle" on the trip. I had never seen a dead body before getting to Nigeria. I think the Lord knew how to deal with this discomfort. The first five minutes we were in Abuja, someone fell over and died. From that point forward, nothing seemed shocking to me. Before Jos, I had never seen someone on death's door. I had never seen someone after a traumatic injury. I had never met anyone with HIV. I had never met so many people who had lost children. And yet, during the course of that month, I really feel like I handled these things well. The other day, when our little bird died, I couldn't go in the room with the doctor. This would imply that I am quite a wimp. However, when demanded, I was able to handle the things required of a "missionary doctor's wife" while we were in Jos. I stood by JB and looked at the things I was looking at. Often times, Dr. Chris or our friend Lauretta asked me to touch the things they were looking at to understand what it was. I think my coping ability was something I wanted to know, and I figured it out. The first night, when we arrived at the rural clinic and a man showed my husband a fistula on his rear end, I realized that I was okay. I could do this.

I was also pleased that I was able to overcome my slight "germaphobic" nature during this trip. I was able to forget about the fact that there was no running water in bathrooms. I was able to handle the heat. I was able to handle the lack of privacy. I was able to handle sharing food and drink items with our travel companions. I handled washing myself and my clothes in a bucket.

As I briefly mentioned in a previous post, the thing that I was not extremely pleased about was my anxiety. There were many instances, both in Nigeria and South Africa, that circumstances caused me to become ill. My anxiety is something I can quickly recognize due to the physical symptoms that quickly manifest. There were many times in Nigeria that this occurred. I realize that I love the "results" I get after traveling but hate the actual process of traveling. I see us traveling quite a bit and plan to really work on improving this tendency.

Another thing that was very interesting for me was experiencing a different culture's attitude toward infertility. In the Nigerian culture, when you get married you have about one year before people expect children to have joined your family. Over and over again I would have a conversation ensure that would go like: "Is this your husband?" "How long have you been married?" "Where are your children?" When I would just wrinkle my nose or shake my head, suddenly the person was praying for me. This even happened in the security booth in the airport in Lagos. The female security agent asked these three questions and then said, "Are you a Christian? Let me pray for you." I quickly realized that while being infertile in the U.S. is often difficult, being without child in this culture was twice as hard. I saw at least two women come into the clinic asking for help because they were still childless. There was really nothing that the clinic could do to help. They also choose to have children despite being HIV positive. It would be more painful to not have children at all. This different perspective was eye opening and made me thankful for the opportunities for medical aid I have had in the U.S.

So that is, in brief, a summary of my personal experiences upon returning. Like I said earlier, anything I say, even though I mean it, would sound generic. "I have been forever changed. I will never be the same. It was the experience of a lifetime." But they are all true. I can only hope that each of you will take the opportunity to do something like this in your lifetime. You'll be speechless just like me.

Some of my other "lessons learned" or just fun and interesting points are presented below with pictures!

I learned that the Lord can use you if you will listen to His call. The story of Dr. Chris Isichei is simply amazing. He has dedicated his life to serving people -- caring for them inside and out. Dr. Chris is my hero. He could easily be doing something else -- something easier. But he's doing what the Lord wants him to do.

Dr. Aquiris (Can't remember how to spell his name) and our friend Lauretta on the way to the Kafanchan clinic. This picture shows a relatively empty van. On one four hour trip to Yankari, we actually put five additional people in this van if you can believe that. I was so blessed to have met Lauretta on this trip. Lauretta was the most sweet and pure woman whose love for the Lord radiated off of her. She was the one who named our future child, giving an Ibo name that means "God's gift." I will really miss Lauretta. She really showed me that the people of Nigeria are the same as we are despite the fact that they live without some of our conveniences. Who we are as people is identical.

After their clinic's nurse died of liver cancer, Thomas took over the rural clinic in Kafanchan. He has no medical background, but meets with patients, tests their blood, and then drives nearly two hours to Faith Alive once a week to fill their prescriptions. He now has aspirations to go to medical school. I quickly realized that you don't have to have much background to make a difference, just a willingness to help.

Fanol Bank provides food, clothing, and other necessary life items for people without enough. Even one item makes a difference for someone else.

I truly think that the Blessing is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. If she can keep smiling despite the storm that she has weathered, I know I cannot let my life get me down.

I also learned that babies in Nigeria need to wear warm, knitted caps if the weather dips below, say 90 degrees. I always wanted to take these hats off. The kids looked so hot! But they did look cute.

I learned that just because their are police around, doesn't mean that you feel more safe. Safety in Nigeria is the population's number one concern. Restaurants would have security officers posted right inside the door. This is a road stop which occurred every hour or so everywhere we went. However, despite the fact that these men were present, I didn't feel safer. Corruption causes a general mistrust very quickly.

It doesn't take much to make a difference. Here Dr. Chris stands by a few bricks in a rural clinic about an hour outside of Jos -- the first bricks of their new clinic. This clinic will greatly impact this rural town, which is currently hours from medical aid.

If people like Esther, living "HIV positively" with her daughter can choose to be positive, how can we not do the same thing? Esther came to our home asking if we wanted her to make clothes and purses. We instantly jumped on the chance, and when leaving she told us that we had indirectly fed her daughter. If Esther can be happy while not being sure where her next meal comes from, then surely I can chill out a bit and just enjoy life as it is.

You don't have to be a millionaire to make a difference in the life of a child. A child, truly, needs only a few things to have their life changed forever: a place to sleep, a good friend, someone to hug them, and something to eat. I think we are all capable of helping get that job done. I think sometimes we think that we have to be able to do "so much" in order to make an impact. We only have to do a small thing to make an impact.

About two years ago, Dr. Chris lost the Faith Alive building to a fire. He was out of town when it occurred and felt the Lord telling him something bad was going to happen. Then he got the call that the building had been lost to a fire. And yet his faith carried on. Here he had been working for free, trying to make a difference, and everything that he had accumulated burned to the ground. Stuff, is just stuff. And God is bigger than stuff. Two years later, a church in California donated the money for an even better facility. This building is one of the best buildings in Jos. In comparison to what is around, it is amazing.

I learned that it is possible to cook for over 80 teenage boys, outside. This woman was my hero! I can't cook in a kitchen for two people. How did she do this, three meals a day, for 80 boys?!

This picture continues to stay in my heart but not only for the obvious reason that you may think. This woman is very sick. That part is obvious. But what ministered to me were the people standing on her side. These were her family and friends who would help her day and night. I saw this same scene repeat itself many times. I think it is our duty as Christians to care for the sick, the widowed, the orphaned. No one should not have a friend or family member sitting by in hard times. For this woman, her lifeline was the help she was receiving from others. Even in the hospital there, people have to have family to wash their bedsheets and cook their meals -- it is impossible to survive without others in their community. It should be that way in ours as well.

I learned that you don't need the "right tools" to get the job done. Here x-rays dry outside, in the wind. The means is not traditional but the result is the same.

I realized that no matter where you are, who we are is the same. We all want what is best for our family and children. This was a typical scene in the pediatric areas of the hospitals we visited. The equipment and surroundings may be different, but in the end, this mother is just hoping that her child gets what he needs to be okay.

Having a talent or a trade is as important as having your HIV medications. This is Charles. He is Blessing's son, and she is teaching him to sew. This skill could make the difference in life or death for Charles. Being able to teach a man to fish, is, quite honestly, one of THE most important things you can do for other people. I realized that JB's love of community development is just as important as his love for medicine. If you heal their cold, but they can't make any money to eat, it really doesn't do much good.

My husband is and will be a fabulous doctor. I was, oftentimes, speechless, as I watched him ask a few probing questions and then, somehow, write down the medication a person needed. I was still sitting there wondering why they were throwing up? How did he know how to fix that? It's amazing how four years ago, he was just a guy who loved science and now he is a guy who knows enough science to help people feel better. I was equally as impressed with Ajit and Tara. Ajit is so compassionate and Tara is, quite literally, a walking medical book. She can remember anything! (This little girl is malnourished mainly from eating the wrong kinds of food.)

I realized that many things happen in our society without us even realizing they are being done. Snow is removed. Trash is picked up. Potholes are fixed. What if these things weren't fixed?

People will wait a very long time for something that they need. We get frustrated in the U.S. when our appointment runs thirty minutes late. Imagine not having an appointment. Imagine spending an entire day hoping that you get a turn. I saw it, and I still can't imagine it. I need to think of this picture any time I get slightly frustrated by inconvenience. Convenience is overrated.

I learned that children are children no matter where they are. This little boy decided he didn't care that JB was giving a talk to patients -- he wanted to hang out with him.

I learned, as I mentioned earlier, that I am actually capable of getting by on much less than I ever thought I could get by on. Most people who know me, know that I am a slight "germaphobe". However, I was amazed how quickly I was able to do what the situation called for. I truly thought this would be harder for me then it was.

So there is a quick flash into my "heart". I hope this helps you all to see where I am and where JB is on our journey to follow the calling on our lives. I ask that you continue to pray for us during the next seven years, as JB does residency and then military payback. We will go wherever the Lord tells us to go. The "fun" part is waiting for Him to tell us.