Lots of bottles

I'd like to consider myself a healthy person. I don't feel sickly.

So as I am starting to lay out what we are taking for this trip, I am not impressed with the number of medications I have to take with us. Honestly, for some reason, this makes me feel old. You know, like I have to bring my medicine cabinet with me to Africa. Add to that that you really need to keep them in their original containers so that they have your prescription on them, and we have to take a lot of medication.

Not only do I have to my normal Metformin that I have now been on for a number of years, but now I am taking my Ambien to help me sleep. Add to that the progesterone I will be on for two cycles while I am gone and you are at four containers of pills. Four because I take 3-4 pills of Metformin a night. That's two bottles. In addition, our travel clinic has us taking a malaria medication and sends a prescription for cipro (traveller's diarrhea). I also have to take my vial of lupron (in my new handy dandy, self-cooling package.) Then we'll take our vitamins and other "incidental" travelling medications, and I do feel like the older people JB sees in the clinic with a list of medications a mile long. This is not put down older people of course. It's just fact.

All this medication talk makes me realize that it's been awhile since I have given an update on our next IVF cycle. We are scheduled for a transfer on May 31st. Earlier this week, we signed the paperwork for the number of embryos to transfer. As soon as I signed this and slid it across the table to JB, I got a stomachache. It immediately threw me in to thinking about doing another transfer. Don't get me wrong. I want to do it. However, thinking of getting wheeled back into that room, waiting two weeks for results, and taking all those shots doesn't exactly cause me extreme excitement.

Last night we attended "Mixed Bag" for the medical school -- a variety show of sorts. A couple I didn't know told us congratulations on going to Florida and then asked if we had kids. I realize that this question is something that stings me every time it is asked. You'd think by now, I'd know how to handle this question, but I still don't. I feel this five second sensation of a thousand feelings including -- "do they know we want kids? do they know I have not chosen a career over kids? do they know ..." We were sitting across the table from some friends of ours who have a year old daughter. I felt that they were uncomfortable too and all of us wanted to change the subject. Afterwards, I asked JB if this question made him uncomfortable. He said it did. He said no matter how many times it is asked, it is just not fun.

In fact, "Mixed Bag" is always a little uncomfortable for me. It's a time when everyone brings their children and shows them off to everyone else. I remember coming to this first year and thinking "Well at least by fourth year I can bring our child to this event." Fourth year came and went last night, and still, it is JB and me. I know this is okay. I know that we are okay. And part of me was glad I didn't have to chase a screaming child around for two hours as most of the other parents did. I held Christo and Melissa's son Luke for a bit and passed him off when the tears fell. I played with Bisola for a bit and gave her back when I grew tired. Karuna climbed onto my lap and then wandered back to sing loudly to the music. I recognize all the things JB and I get to do because it is still just the two of us.

Anyways, sorry for this post to be a downer. I am actually not in a downer mood. I am unbelievably blessed my fantastic husband and our exciting adventures in the next few months. Even if I have to take a slew of medications with me on those adventures!