Tuesday Truth

Hannah (Tooth #1)

 "Dear Tooth Fairy, 

My tooth fell out 

It's no longer there. 

I give it to you 

to handle with care." 

Last week there were two main Hannah things Hannah had discovered: 

1) The first was that she discovered this pair of pink overalls that Abigail never wanted to wear, and she decided she wanted to wear them all the time.

2) The second thing she discovered? She had a lose tooth.

So here is a video of me discussing the overalls and teeth with Hannah

And here is Hannah after she had lost her tooth! It was so exciting. I love this picture, and I also love how blonde her hair looks in this photo. When did that happen!?

P.S. I started this Blog keeping track of all the kids' lost teeth. But the truth is, I lost count. They were falling out so fast between the oldest three that I just didn't keep up. I am pretty sure Sidge lost four in one week recently. But I'm gonna try to keep up with my little Hannah for as long as I can!

 

When the sign doesn't apply to you

Introducing: "Veil Brain" and "Star Head"

The girls came downstairs wearing these outfits. These two crack me up. I can't help but just laugh ...

NPAC Field Trip (& more!)

 "We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men." Herman Melville

I have said it time and time again on this Blog. I love our homeschool community. I pray it is there to get me through the graduation of each of my kids.

Every Monday for to twenty week semesters, we meet at a local Baptist church, and educate our children in a cooperative. Sidge is in a class called "Snapshots." Each week, the students take a field trip around Greene County (or a speaker comes in). 

This past week they went to the NPAC for some behind-the-scenes fun!

The week before that they got to meet the Greene County Mayor, Kevin Morrison:

 

How cool is that?! 

Oh and apparently my Sidge asks some very interesting questions. I didn't get any farther than that. Just that he's a good question-asker.

 

Introverted Piano Player vs. His Mom

 "Introverts are word economists in a society suffering from verbal diarrhea." Michael Chung

I had a friend mention they hadn't seen Isaac on the Blog in awhile. There are two main reasons: 

1) Isaac had the flu. :( He was down and out for about two weeks. This poor guy gets hit so much harder than his siblings when an illness runs through the house. Mostly just due to how he is wired and his asthma. We are pretty sure that JB had the flu too, but since there is no call-in-sick-policy for physicians (don't get me started on that) he kept going on as normal. (Yes, everyone had had the flu shot here.)

2) Isaac is an introvert. Flat out. No question about it. He and Abigail are definitely introverts. He's quite "private" by nature. He avoids pictures, will tell me "don't blog about that" and will stop playing the piano if he senses a video capturing it. He has always been this way. I mostly try to respect his wishes, and keep things private and let him fly under the radar a bit.

But his piano ... oh this guy's piano. It makes my Mama heart soar to hear him on the piano. His piano teacher is having perform at festival this year -- the only piano student she is taking and the youngest student (4th grade) she has ever taken. She has told us that she will only teach him for another year or two before she encourages us to move to another teacher in town who is more suited to Isaac's needs. 

The kid speaks music like a first language. The other day JB asked him what he was playing and he said: "You know Moonlight Sonata? Well I'm playing that. Backwards. And in a different key."

I continue to take piano ... like walking through the mud. I have thought about quitting every other day. John has asked me to stick with it for right now. We've been in a very busy season, and I don't want to throw in a towel I will later regret throwing, but I just don't have the time for it.

"Aaahhh," but JB says, "We only have time for what we are passionate about."

(He is retelling a statement made by an old German man when we were vacationing when JB told the guy he isn't learning Turkish because he didn't have time.)

"Aaahhh," the old man said, "We only have time for what we are passionate about."

So I'm passionate about writing. And studying Turkish. And raising my kids where the green grass grows. But piano? I dunno about that.

I think this video very accurately shows the great divide between mother and son (who started lessons at the same time.) 

If you are interested, Isaac jumps in at 2:16. Literally. The song takes me like four times as long as it does him? (Did I do my math right? Not sure.)

 

Friday Funnies (Hannah style)

Hannah came into my bathroom where I was brushing my teeth.

Hannah: "Look mommy. I am wearing your purple bra."

Me: "Where did you get that?"

Hannah: "Out on the couch. It was in the pile of laundry."

Me: "Was Mr. Jacob sitting out there when you put it on?"

Hannah: "Yes!"

Me: "What did he say when he saw you wearing that?"

Hannah: "He said maybe I should go show it to my Mom."

Hannah: "Look Mama, I made you something."

Me: "Wow Hannah. What is it?"

Hannah: "I don't know, but it has hearts all over it."

After a lot of fighting in these parts, I've told the kiddos they have to write sentences if they aren't kind to each other. Hannah had never written sentences before. The picture above is her first attempt.

 

We Bought a Farm: Castratin' the Rams

 "The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes."

Here I am after moving the ducks this morning. It has rained soooo much around here that there was no way I could stop myself from just getting filthy: 

I always struggle with when to take a shower here on the farm. By the time I get clean, it's time to go out again and then I'm muddy again. A lot of times I will just jump in, quickly get clean, but not bother washing my hair or anything until the end of the day.

Yesterday, Jacob and I decided to try our hand at castrating the five little baby rams we have here on the farm. We castrate them so that they can stay their mothers longer. If we don't castrate them, they would have to be removed from their mothers at about four months old. 

JB was working, and we wanted to see if we could get it done without his help. We use a very simple system where we just put a rubber band around the scrotum which then causes it to eventually just "fall off."

We got three of them done with no problem at all. Here's a picture of one of the lucky little guys:

We actually brought a bunch of the kiddos out with us to help as the older the little rams get, the more difficult they are to catch. 

My niece, Kari, absolutely cracked me up as she was holding this little ram below while he was waiting his turn and she turned his back so he didn't have to "witness" what was about to happen. I got this picture of her that I really loved:

Today Jacob and I went out with JB to catch the two little guys that we had trouble with the day before. It was a beautiful seventy-degree February day. Here I am holding one of the waiting victims:

And here Jacob is getting ready to hold one down while JB tries to castrate:

JB actually had a very difficult time trying to castrate those same two guys. Their anatomy was a little more challenging and the testicles were just staying too close to their "body." We couldn't get them to "drop down" enough to rubber band them off.

(Aren't you glad I am sharing all these details?)

I find that many people tell me how they just couldn't do this type of thing. The good thing about this process is that the little rams have no pain and just a little discomfort from this procedure. I have also learned that sometimes you just have to just "do the next thing" when it comes to farming.

I have seen first-hand what happens when we have to pull baby rams off their moms. It's sad. They miss their moms. Castrating them allows them to stay longer in a place that they are happy. We also have to run a separate paddock for rams that we have to pull off. Keeping them together makes everyone happier and makes our works easier as well. 

If you know why you are doing it and you can see the benefit of this decision, it isn't too hard at all. 

And baby lambs are just sooooo cute too! I am never sorry for an opportunity to hold one.

 

First Library Cards for the Girls!

 "There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate's loot on Treasure Island." Walt Disney 

A note from JB:

My daughters both got their first library cards today... and they were excited about it! 

We read in this house.
A lot. 

When I was a kid, I had to leave my bike at the library so that I could walk home with the stack of books I checked out. Then I had to walk back to get my bike. 

Now, when I’m not working nights, I read to my kids a chapter or two almost every evening before bed.

My two 10-year-old boys currently read for about an hour before bed every night, and this is after I read to them. And it looks like my girls are starting to follow in their footsteps.

So happy to be passing on a love for reading!

 

On Belay: Surrender

A note from Wendi: I am incredibly excited to add a new Blogger to my rotation. I met Shelby Mathis while our husbands were stationed together in the Azores, and she has also come and worked on our farm!

I have done IF:Gathering, a women’s faith conference, in some fashion since its formation in 2014. I watched two years alone in my home in the Azores in the middle of the night because of the time difference. I was a new Christian totally overwhelmed by grace, so captivated by women leading on a big stage who clearly didn’t have it all together and were making it up as they went along (SAME!) I was also very sure I wasn’t supposed to watch it by myself. Something was missing.

The next year, I went to the live conference in Austin. I was so excited to see the live event and be surrounded by thousands of women from all over the world doing it with me. It was a huge production with lights and cameras, so fun and cute, but incredibly busy, impersonal, and fast-paced. I felt alone in a crowded room. I decided then I wouldn’t return to the live one the following year. I wouldn’t waste another year on keeping this experience for myself. I didn’t know where I’d land, but it wouldn’t be home alone or in Texas again.

However, God has a sense of humor and rarely goes along with my plans.

The next year, we were moving. Again. And I didn't have a home church or a local gathering to attend, so I flew back to Texas and took my sister to a local event in her town near Houston. 

For the fourth year in a row, God reminded me of what He put on my heart the very first year I watched alone, unable to name what was missing. The gathering near Houston was the intimate, overwhelming experience like at home. It was fun and cute like Austin. 

Except with women in their own place.

So the next year, in the fall of 2017, I told my pastor I wanted to host an IF:Gathering. Just a small one. No big deal, 20 women or so. At a friend’s home. That was my plan, and we’d name it after our church, and was that okay?

“Dream bigger”, said my pastor. “50 women. We’ll help.”

I am unqualified. I am inexperienced. I am unprepared. I am afraid.

I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t know how to throw an event for 50 women. I didn’t know where I’d get the money or the venue or how I’d make it look like it did in my head. Which was 20 women in jammies in a living room. 

This wasn’t my plan!

I hadn’t lived in Denver long. I’d been at my church less than a year and was still trying to find my footing, where I fit in there. I was used to being “the new girl” and putting down roots as soon as I got someplace, but this felt way outside of my comfort zone and seemed to require much deeper roots than I’d established.

Unqualified, inexperienced, unprepared and afraid, I said "yes" in obedience to what I know without doubt God called me to in 2014, which was simple: bring IF:Gathering to your people.

I said "yes" when I meant "God, help me, I am in over my head already." I said "yes" when I knew I’d have to risk a lot, be uncomfortable and make it up as I went along. I said "yes" to not my plan!

And so, I leaped.

A couple months later, I watched from above myself — like a hovering, out of body experience — my fifth IF:Gathering. I saw myself still unqualified, still inexperienced, still unprepared, still afraid and shaking in my boots. I was busy running to the tech station and running through the production schedule and running back to my table and running on empty but so, so entirely full. Only with God is that possible.

For two days, I got to witness women being vulnerable, speaking publicly when they typically kept to themselves. Women sharing their hearts and struggles with near strangers. Women reclining around tables with women they have very little in common with but a common faith and savior. Women letting down the drawbridges to other women instead of reinforcing their walls.

And you know how I feel about walls.

____________


Sometimes I write to know what I think. Sometimes I write to remember. Right now I need to remember because I’m leading leaping again.

And I’m still learning. Honestly, just last week I was an actual mess.

I am unqualified. I am inexperienced. I am unprepared. I am afraid.

I wallowed for a bit. I called on a friend to affirm my calling to this ministry and admitted I didn’t know what to do. And she asked the hard questions. "What can I do?" "What do you need?" I didn’t know, but she refused to let me continue on. I called another friend who reminded me of the One Who Called Me. I confessed where I was struggling. She refused to let me continue on. She reminded me of what God did last year. When I was unqualified, inexperienced, unprepared, afraid then too.

I counted all the ways I could recall when God seriously, truly, kindly, faithfully provided. I named all the ways He took my desolate places of weary from moves and leaving "my people" and brought a multitude of new people and fed them with my few loaves and couple fishes. Not as a test or a comparison, but a reminder to myself and to the enemy who would love to see this thing fail because I believe I was more unqualified, more inexperienced, more unprepared, and more afraid than I am loved, chosen, and provided for.

Here's what I know to be true: we can lead and leap in faith with what we have and where we are, because God provides. We don’t have to fixate on numbers and budgets, dwell on tasks and to-do lists. We just need to be still and surrender.

What a God.

I weep at the mercy of a God who would have me not miss what He wants to do in and through the women in my community by moving me to say “yes” to this crazy dream and I crumble at the goodness of a God who would put friends in my path that would refuse to let me beat myself and commit to perfectionism when I need only to be reminded that I am who He says I am.

I am forgetful sometimes. When I forget who He is, I forget who I am.

He is the One Who Called You to This Messy, Incredible Ministry.
He is the One With Whom You Can Be Still and Surrender.
He is the One Who Knows and Has Taken Care of Your EVERY Need. 
He is the One Who Is Wowed By Production of Fruit and Not the Production Value of Your Event.
He is the One, The I AM, Who Says Who You Are When You Feel Unqualified, Inexperienced, Unprepared, and Afraid.

I am surrendering control.
I am surrendering tasks.
I am surrendering busyness.
I am surrendering expectations.
I am surrendering performance.
I am surrendering production.

I am also a Type 9 (Peacemaker) on the Enneagram. I have a friend who asks the hard, simple questions: "what was the best part? what was your favorite thing?" Jet-lagged and culture-shocked from a return trip from a land that turned my perspective and world upside down and they ask about my favorite part. Where do I even begin?

As much as those questions prick me, I’ve trained myself to have an answer instead of a verbal processing session where I say the food or the landscape -- which are usually highlights, don’t get me wrong -- but they're never the actual best part.

IF:Gathering 2018 was amazing, but IF:Embassy and the miracle it was has my heart and my attention. Those 50 women who said "yes" to something unfamiliar that I could hardly explain. And the teams of dedicated people that showed up -- not for me -- but to be hands and feet. Being the Church in Denver and also saying "yes" to this vision.

And honestly, that's all I did then and all I need to do now. Surrender my plans, my time, my expectations.

My plans didn’t include IF:Embassy with those women and that incredible team on those snowy days in that packed room with those tech issues and changed schedules and those vulnerable confessions and that sweet time of sharing how we persevere in the faith. But how I’d have missed it.

My plans didn’t include friendships with people who stretch and grow me to be a better disciple of Jesus. But how I’d have missed it.

I want to produce real fruit that points people to Jesus.
I want to run in faith toward the things He knew I’d miss.
I want to be a prayer warrior who prays like she means it and like God hears.
I want to catch glimpses of myself catching up when the Spirit runs ahead.
I want to live a life surrendered to His plans for my life and His Church.
I want to make God famous to the people in my world.
I want to say “yes” to things I’m utterly unqualified, inexperienced, unprepared, and afraid for where the fruit of the Spirit is unbelievable sweeter than anything I could possibly produce.

I don’t want to produce an unforgettable weekend for the approval of the 50 women in the room. I don’t even want to run a perfect event, though it would be nice. I want earth as it is in heaven.

Climb on,
Shelby

P.S. If you’re in the Denver area, would you consider being a part of this adventure with me this weekend (February 8 + 9)? Doing this with women has been my heart’s desire from the very beginning. It’s happening, and I want you to me one of them! Register here: ifembassy.iflocal.com.

If you’re not local to me but want to watch the IF:Gathering livestream this weekend, sign up at iflocal.com, grab some friends and let’s do this together!

My Happenin' Hannah

 "I'm always looking to find the beautiful side of my really wild child." Wendi Kitsteiner

I'll never understand how we got a little girl so interested in fashion. It makes me smile and laugh and scratch my head all rolled into one.

My Hannah is truly so ...

fun

spirited

spunky

energetic

witty

wise

creative

silly

loving

and

ex-haust-ing!

Oh my ... does her wild side require me to simply close my eyes and hang on for the ride. 

By the end of the day I sometimes must simply must ask her to not speak anymore. To just sit. In silence. And wait for her Daddy to get home at 7:30pm because the amount of energy Hannah requires is so much more than I have.

(And I have a lot of energy.)

She is a world changer for sure. 

And while I wait for her to grow enough to conquer that world, I am praying for her husband who must be an incredibly strong man to rein in a woman of her caliber. 

My life would be so boring without her. She exhausts me. But I love her more than words can say.

 

We Bought a Farm: Fifty-Eight and Sunny!

 "If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm." Frank Lane

Like most of the country, it was freezing around these parts for quite a few days. But the wonderful thing about Tennessee is that we get the cold, we get the snow, and then ...

It

Goes

Away.

It isn't like the past places that I have lived:

• Florida (never gets cold -- and don't even try to explain to me how it does. I'm sorry. Nope. Not cold. EVER!)
• Minnesota (gets and stays cold forever!)
• Turkey (hot! hot! hot! -- where we lived at least)
• Azores (rain! rain! rain!)

Here we get all the seasons, but they are mild. We get snow. We get fall. We get summer. We get spring. But none of them kills us. (Minnesota winters almost killed me. Honestly. Really.)

Today I had a MAJOR farm day. On my fit bit I registered 150 minutes of "exercise" when I didn't technically ever plan to exercise. That to me is a great day. A day where I am outside, working as I believe we were intended as human beings to work. 

Moving sheep paddocks is a lot of work. It requires a lot of hill-walking, reel-lugging, post-carrying ... we worked for about two hours and were quite tuckered out.

Today I also learned that shoveling wood chips out of a truck into a pile is quite the workout as well. I'm constantly amazed how so much of your farming life is determined by the weather. We are expecting a lot of rain next week which meant we needed to get those wood chips unloaded TODAY. There was not a way to wait until tomorrow. 

In other news, we've now had six of these boys born on our farm (one single, one set of twins, and one set of triplets -- one of which did not make it.)  

Not surprisingly, they all look like their very sneaky father who disguised himself as a castrated male but wasn't really castrated at all. (He's now in our freezer.) 

This nice weather has also meant lots of time to be outside. While we've lived on a farm for four years now, it has only been in the last year that my kids have begun clamoring to be outside. (They are old enough to go by themselves which makes a very big difference!) 

I've noticed how much they are outside by the times they canNOT go outside. Oh man when we are stuck inside all day it really gets to me. Why do I have so many children? Where did they all come from?!

A very favorite spot outside is a place the kids call "New Zealand" because it is so far away from everything else on our farm. The kiddos (lead especially by Sidge and my cousin's son, Gabe,) are working on making this a clubhouse of sorts. In fact, Sidge got a saw for his birthday, and it was one of his very favorite gifts. They are sawing wood, tying things together, all kinds of boy things. 

This picture below features the kiddos trying to use a pulley system. I couldn't figure out how they got the rope tied up into the tree. Then I turned around and turned back and discovered Abigail and Kari had shimmied up that tree like it was nothing: 

 

Abigail and Kari in the tree with Jacob looking on and Sidge overseeing the work!

I truly try not to think about the injuries my children can sustain outside. I also try not to think about predators very much. Arabelle goes with the kiddos everywhere on the farm to keep them safe. The only issue is that she really is attached to me and will sometimes abandon them to come and find me. (When she does this, Sidge called her a "deserter" which always makes me laugh.)

Anyways, a little look at our life today, 

 

We Bought a Farm: When you accidentally lamb in January

 "A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Our farm has a plan. (I'm a planner? Would you expect any less?) The plan is that we put our big daddy ram in with the ladies in November and the sheep have their babies when it is warm -- in April or May. (While other farmers choose to lamb earlier in the year, we have made the choice to lamb in the spring.)

However, when will I learn? On a farm, plan A is rarely how things go down.

This last season, when we had our 12 baby boys born, we decided to castrate them. This was a new thing for us. We did it so that the boys could stay with their Mamas longer and so that we didn't have to run a separate paddock for them. 

A young boy sheep (ram) can technically his mother and sisters and aunts at four months old. Thus, unless they are castrated, they must be separated right around that time.

So we castrated our boys and went on about our merry way. Back in November, Anni discovered that one of our little rams had had a failed castration. So she pulled him out. However, in December, we discovered that there was another male in with them that we hadn't realized.

(Lesson learned: after you castrate a ram, you need to make sure that it actually works.)

Yesterday, Jacob and I went out to check on the sheep together. We were deciding whether to move them to a new pasture or not. As we debated and discussed, Jacob spotted Patience, one of our brown sheep, nearly completely camouflaged in the grass and quite separated from the rest of the herd. By the time he got a video, she had rejoined her group, but this is what he saw: 

Obviously, that little boy (that was actually quite a good-looking ram) had gotten very busy in there with the ladies. Because not only did we find Patience with two little boys, but this morning, Jacob went out and discovered this:

That's right. Dear ol' Mercy decided to have two little boy twins as well. And then, Jacob turned to spot our Snowball (and Fennel behind her) quite a bit pregnant:

It's funny. When you aren't looking for something, you don't see it. We kept looking at our sheep thinking: "They look really big already," but since we weren't looking for pregnancy, it never crossed our minds. We kept thinking: "Man we haven't seen Captain -- our big daddy Ram -- doing the deed." Well that's because he probably wasn't!

So now we are lambing in January and February. In fact, Patience's boys were born on the very coldest day we will probably have all year super healthy and great!

Bring on Plan B,