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| Carrie (#2), Andrew (#3), and Tiffany (#1) with their youngest brother, Christopher. |
from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie
Ya'll my good friend Carrie, who has written almost one hundred posts for this Blog that you can find here: Tribe Life Tuesdays, lost her brother just a few weeks ago.
She has given me permission to share her journey as she grieves his completely unexpected death from an unknown and undiagnosed heart condition.
I will popping in, regularly or irregularly, to share some of her words.
While I have never dealt with this sort of loss or grief, it has been something that I have been passionate about on this Blog.
Thank you Carrie for letting us walk-alongside you, grieve with you, and most importantly, learn from you as you and your family grieve this knock-you-off-your-feet tragedy.
Here are some of the words Carrie has shared in the last week. I urge you to leave a comment that Carrie so that Carrie (and her family) can share with you.
First, here were the words Carrie spoke at the funeral for her brother. I followed those words with some other things she has shared in the days that preceded and followed:
On behalf of our family. Our parents, thank you for being here to honor our brother. We are grateful for each of you. We could talk about Chris for days and still not even scratch the surface of what an incredible gift he was to each of us, in his own unique way. Each of you were so special to him and each of you bring a piece of him with you here today. We all had the privilege of loving him and he loved us back vividly. Today I don’t think Chris would want me to tell you about him. I think he would want me to tell you about heaven. About the hope we can all have in knowing we get to see him again. Heaven is real and attainable. In 1 Thessalonians 4:13 it says “Beloved brothers and sisters, we want you to be quite certain about the truth concerning those who have passed away, so that you won’t be overwhelmed with grief like many others who have no hope.” Today is sad day but simultaneously, it is a day full of hope and heaven. I think heaven is probably pretty charming, like Christopher. Extravagant yet simple. I’ve been given an amazing opportunity now to more liberally and tenaciously live in between 2 worlds. The sweet rich desire of eternity and the grace of the voided present. Heaven is a wonderful place and the thought of being able to share my life - our lives again, with Christopher, there, brings me great solace. We don’t mourn as those who have no hope, we have hope. And if you don’t feel like you have any hope today you can borrow some of mine. I’ll leave you with this: C.S Lewis once said, “The death of a beloved is an amputation. How often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, ‘I never realized my loss till this moment’? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
First, here were the words Carrie spoke at the funeral for her brother. I followed those words with some other things she has shared in the days that preceded and followed:
On behalf of our family. Our parents, thank you for being here to honor our brother. We are grateful for each of you. We could talk about Chris for days and still not even scratch the surface of what an incredible gift he was to each of us, in his own unique way. Each of you were so special to him and each of you bring a piece of him with you here today. We all had the privilege of loving him and he loved us back vividly. Today I don’t think Chris would want me to tell you about him. I think he would want me to tell you about heaven. About the hope we can all have in knowing we get to see him again. Heaven is real and attainable. In 1 Thessalonians 4:13 it says “Beloved brothers and sisters, we want you to be quite certain about the truth concerning those who have passed away, so that you won’t be overwhelmed with grief like many others who have no hope.” Today is sad day but simultaneously, it is a day full of hope and heaven. I think heaven is probably pretty charming, like Christopher. Extravagant yet simple. I’ve been given an amazing opportunity now to more liberally and tenaciously live in between 2 worlds. The sweet rich desire of eternity and the grace of the voided present. Heaven is a wonderful place and the thought of being able to share my life - our lives again, with Christopher, there, brings me great solace. We don’t mourn as those who have no hope, we have hope. And if you don’t feel like you have any hope today you can borrow some of mine. I’ll leave you with this: C.S Lewis once said, “The death of a beloved is an amputation. How often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, ‘I never realized my loss till this moment’? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
April 23, 2019
The hardest thing about sorrow thus far is its unpredictability.
Grasping onto anything that may make me feel better, feel ‘comfortable’, yet there is nothing.
The internal screams for stability seem like whispers in comparison to the roar of mystery.
April 27, 2019
Current sitch... I have yearned for stillness while actively avoiding it. I very much fear what may rise to the surface in a quiet space. Knowing that fear likes to tag along like a companion, I choose to walk into the stillness with courage... not as a warrior but as a fragile broken mortal. Stripping fear of its masquerade, staying low.
April 30, 2019
The tsunami of grief reached the shores of my body, soul, & spirit today.
🖤
This was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Unlike the waves that have come and gone, this one lingered and flooded every piece of my existence.
🖤
I begged God to keep Chris’ presence close to me for a while longer...
I begged not because that’s what HE requires but because it was the only suitable way to present such a request.
🖤
This was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Unlike the waves that have come and gone, this one lingered and flooded every piece of my existence.
🖤
I begged God to keep Chris’ presence close to me for a while longer...
I begged not because that’s what HE requires but because it was the only suitable way to present such a request.
May 3, 2019
Grief is becoming well acquainted with me. It is learning me in ways no one and no thing ever has, except the one who formed me.
🌴
While grief is not comparable to God...I am very aware of the fact that it is discovering me quite intimately.
🖤
I have yet to find another that has power over me the way grief and God do.
🌴
While grief is not comparable to God...I am very aware of the fact that it is discovering me quite intimately.
🖤
I have yet to find another that has power over me the way grief and God do.
Carrie
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