Monday, May 08, 2006

Thank you friends

I just wanted to post a quick thank you on my blog. Today has been one of the longest days of my life. I have cried many times and have taken a very healing nap! JB went out to get me the only thing I could think of to eat -- a grilled cheese sandwhich from Culver's and a fruit smoothie from Inta Juice. Unfortunately, when I am bothered by something, my appetite is the first to go and that is definitely the truth today. I am not hungry and nothing sounds good, and after midnight tonight, I can't eat again.

After just working a few hours at Mayo, I have been mostly at home today, resting, working on a scrapbook for English's graduation, doing a little work for RLS, and attempting a few chores as my body permits. JB is trying to help me by doing some laundry and cleaning up. Our house is not a pretty sight right now. But as I have been at home, every time I go to check my email, there is someone else sending me some sort of encouraging words, scriptures, a list of people they have asked to pray etc. I AM SO BLESSED by everyone's encouragement. I have heard from people I haven't heard from in months and years and people I have never met. I cannot even BEGIN to tell you what a comfort it is to know how many people are praying for us and this procedure.

If you think of it tonight, I would just ask you to pray for me to have peace. My biggest "peace-issue" has been the number we have chosen to fertilize: 14. I had always said that if we didn't end up with enough frozen, we could just go back and do this harvesting again. But after the last month of shots, migraines, stomach aches, pills, blood draws, and ultrasounds, I really don't feel like I could do this again. So this puts me in a panic. What if they fertilize 14 and only 1 takes or only 3 take? Of course, this is a non-issue. We picked 14 many months ago after much discussion, prayer, and thought. JB has assured me that no matter how much I second-guess things, he will not sign the paper to change the number! So that's that. And even if we did change it to, say, 20 ... what if all 20 fertilized? Then we have a whole 'NOTHER issue.

Of course, I KNOW this is all in the Lord's hands and I must give him this burden to carry, but, I am sure you all know how hard that can be to do. I am really not scared about the surgery. I am scared about being told the result, waiting to hear how the embryos are doing on Wednesday morning, and waiting the weeks that follow to find out whether the embryos implanted.

Anyways, the reason for my second post in one day (which is unusual even for me) is to say thank you. I have sat in front of my computer and just cried, so blessed by all the great words, prayers, scriptures, and encouragement. I can't write everyone back individually, but you know who you are, and thank you for your prayers and love.

I hope to post quickly before we leave early tomorrow morning. Again, thank you!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Read your first post of the day earlier...now checking in again to see how you are feeling!! I know the emotions can run soooo crazy and yet, with all these prayers, nothing but GOOD can come out of all this!!You and John are on my mind constantly! Just know we are gonna be praying early in the morning!!! The Gritters :)