I find it hard to get my heart settled enough to put together words that will make any kind of sense to the human brain. But I will try. This phrase continues to play over and over again in my head, heart, and spirit:
I'll follow your voice straight into the dark.
I begin to go through my Rolodex of situations currently happening in my life and try to apply this phrase to a specific circumstance because that's the "logical" thing to do. I’m racking my brain to see where this applies. There seems to be so many places that are in the dark right now. Yet this is not what is meant.
Into the dark is the most difficult and the most rewarding. Dark transcends time and space and just is. There's only one way out -- to follow.
Follow the voice that speaks calmly and gently to you.
Follow the voice that you can hear over all the screaming.
Follow the voice that makes you feel peaceful.
Follow the voice that challenges you and makes you feel safe at the same time.
In the darkness there’s a duality of wanting more but having enough, you just have to be aware enough to realize it. In the dark you have the opportunity to learn that the voice you’re following is enough even though the instructions may be minimal.
Following His voice into the darkness looked like packing up our car three years ago and moving to Texas. Having no idea what was waiting for us or who was waiting for us, we knew His voice was calling. It was in that season of darkness that I learned a new skill trusting through the mystery.
Learning to trust God.
Learning to trust myself.
Learning to trust my husband.
Learning to trust so-called strangers.
I was learning to follow His voice in the dark.
I find myself facing new mystery today. I find myself standing in an unlit room listening for that voice. So I wait and listen and He speaks and I feel like it's not enough, I ask Him to tell me more, but there is silence. Because what needed to be said to draw me close was said. Though I feel unsatisfied, I take a step. Unable to see in the dark, all I can do is listen and then follow.
If you find yourself in this place today or have found yourself here before… congratulations, you've been trusted with the mystery. While this may bring you little comfort, let me remind you of this fact: you are not alone. He is with you and there are others walking in the dark alongside you. Instead of dreading the dark, I invite you to embrace this as an opportunity for growth. Draw closer to Him, listen, and then follow, one step at a time. Because the only way out of the dark is to follow.