The birds and the bees are a major topic of conversation right now in my house. Here, is just one example. (I'll spare you too many of these conversations as I'm not a big fan of writing the word penis on my blog.)
Isaac: "Did Abigail have a boo boo on her penis?"
Me: "Abigail doesn't have a penis."
Isaac: "What?"
Me: "Yeah, she doesn't have a penis."
Isaac: "Because she's a girl?"
Me:"Right."
Isaac: "Boys have penises?"
Me:"Right."
Isaac: "Do Mommies have a penis?"
Me:"No."
Isaac: "Mommies are girls?"
Me:"Yes."
Isaac: "And daddies are boys."
Me:"Yes."
Isaac: "Do daddies have penises?"
Me:"Yes."
Isaac: "Do husbands have penises?"
Me:"Yes."
Isaac: "And mommies are all mommies?"
Me:"Yes."
Isaac: "Okay."
*****
Elijah has become quite proficient at doing puzzles. But he keeps thinking he needs help. I told him he had to flip over the pieces. "You need to turn them over so you can see what's what," I said. He looked at me funny and said, "What's what with what Mommy?"
*****
While taking a walk on the boardwalk that runs along the ocean by our home, I stopped to tie my shoes in a place that was on a slight decline. Abigail was in her stroller. The boys were on the their three-wheeler bikes. I thought I put the lock on Abigail's stroller, but I guess I didn't because suddenly I hear Isaac saying, "Mommy! It's an emergency! Abigail is going on a joy-ride." I've been teaching the kids to tell me when there is an emergency with Abigail -- when she is somewhere unsafe. But where he learned joy-ride from is beyond me.
*****
As often happens to doctors, a new place to practice means all kinds of new bugs. JB actually got strep throat. So I was putting the kids to bed by myself -- something Daddy usually does -- so he could rest. As we were praying I said, "And let's pray for Daddy too. Dear Jesus, please help heal Daddy. Amen."
Elijah: "Is Daddy sick?"
Me: "Yes. He doesn't feel good."
Elijah: "How does Jesus heal us?"
Me: "Well, he helps our bodies feel better."
Isaac: "So we don't get sick?"
Me: "Right."
Isaac: "I don't like to do the throw up."
Me: "Me either."
Isaac: "What color is your throw up Ma Ma?" (He's been calling me Ma Ma all the time lately.)
Me: "Same color as yours. It's whatever was in our stomach."
Isaac: "I don't want to do the throw up after ice cream. I like ice cream."
*****
Me: "C'mon guys. Put the toys away. We are going to go over to see our friends. Noah and Jonah are going to be there. And Jackson and Max."
Elijah: "And we are going to be there too?"
Me: "Yes, and we will be there too. That's the whole point!"
******
Isaac: "What causes smoke?"
Me: "Fire."
Isaac: "Fire causes smoke?"
Me: "Well, maybe not. Because sometimes there is smoke but no fire."
Isaac: "What causes fire?"
Me: "Things getting too hot."
Isaac: "Is the sun hot?"
Me: "Yes, very hot."
Isaac: "It would burn us?"
Me: "Yes. You can't touch it."
Isaac: "But we could touch the moon?'
Me: "You could."
Isaac: "It's not hot."
Me: "It's not."
Isaac: "It's kinda soft I think."
*****
I made Elijah a snack and set it down in front of him. As I did, he looked at it and said, "I'm still hungry." I informed him, gently, that he cannot make that statement prior to actually eating the snack I gave him. The kids just loves to eat.
*****
Both boys, but more Isaac, have been obsessed with emergencies that might occur while on planes.
Isaac: "If there is an emergency, the slide will come out and we will slide down it."
Me: "Yes. We will slide down and be safe on the ground."
Isaac: "But if there's an emergency, that would have to be a really long slide to go to the ground."
Me: "Yes, it's a long slide."
Isaac: "But it can't reach from the sky to the ground."
Me: "No, we would only use the slide if we were on the ground and there was an emergency."
Isaac: "But what if there is an emergency while we are in the sky?"
Me: "Well the captain would land the plane."
Isaac: "Like if there was smoke?"
Me: "Yes."
Isaac: "What causes smoke?"
Me: "Sparks."
Isaac: "From what?"
Me: "From ... um ... let's see if there is a video on this on youtube. Or let's wait until your Daddy gets home."
*****
We were looking at a picture of flying saucer on the play dough container. "Can you make that?" Isaac asked me. I told him I thought I could. "What is it called?" Isaac asked me. I tried to thinking of the words flying saucer but couldn't get my mind to remember. So I just said, "It's a ship that goes to space." Isaac nodded and said, "You mean a flying saucer, Mom?" Right. Yes. Exactly.
*****
I was lynig next to Isaac, trying to take a nap with him. He's basically dropped his nap so sometimes I will sleep with him as my chances of him going down are higher. So we are lying there, and I'm trying to sleep. I'm so happy because Elijah and Abigail are asleep, and all I have to do is get one more kid down and I can take a nap. Isaac, however, has other ideas. He is talking. And keeps talking, "Could you be a little quieter?" I ask him. Isaac shakes his head as he continues chattering to the myriad of stuffed animals which he calls his "stuff" that must sleep with him each nap and evening. "Mom," he begins. "I need to talk to my stuff." I say I understand but wonder if he would consider whispering to his stuff. He shakes his head again, "Mom, my stuff have loud voices."
*****
I realized that when I asked Isaac if he wanted to live on his own when he grew up, and he told me, "Yes, but I don't know how to build my house by myself," that he got that from The Three Little Pigs.
*****
Lying (or twisting the truth) has become a new and emerging issue in our home. Here are two examples of Elijah's little have truths.
Me: "It's time to go to bed."
Elijah: "Okay Banana head."
Me: "Please don't call Mommy a banana head."
Elijah: "Okay Banana."
Me: "Elijah! Did you hear me? Don't call me a banana!"
Elijah: "I didn't Mommy. I just called the ceiling a banana."
Me: "Elijah, did you take your chalk and color all over all of Isaac's drawings?"
Elijah: "No."
Isaac: "Yes he did!"
Me: "Elijah, did you do it?"
Elijah: "No. I didn't. I was a robot. And the robot did it."
*****
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