Friday Funnies

Elijah: "Mommy, want me do a flip?"
Me: "Okay."
Elijah: (jumps from the chair to the floor)
Me: "That was great!"
Elijah: "But that wasn't a flip."
Me: "It wasn't?"
Elijah: "No. It was a jump."
Me: "Okay."
Elijah: (jumps from the chair to the floor and lands facing the other direction.)
Me: "That was great!"
Elijah: "Was that an almost flip?"
*****
Elijah: (while playing with his stickers) "I've got to make a mess for a minute."
*****
Me: "Sidge, you gotta take a shower tonight."
Elijah: "Why?"
Me: "Because we are going to get on a plane tomorrow and go to the Azores."
Elijah: "Oh. And he'll say, 'You can't come on because you're too dirty?'"
Me: "Who would say that to you?"
Elijah: "The captain of the plane!"
*****
Elijah: "Can I have another tattoo?" (referring to the fake ones he kept wanting more of.)
Me: "Well, you already have three."
Elijah: "Is that so many?"
Me: "Well, it's ... three."
Elijah: "One. Two. Three." (Holds up three fingers.) "This many?"
Me: "Yes. That's three."
Elijah: "Is that so many?"
*****
Me: "Why do you both have yogurt on your necks and all over your faces?"
Elijah: "Because we were eating it."
Me: "Yeah, but didn't you use your spoons?"
Isaac: "No. We wanted to eat them like a doggy."
*****
I was opening (one of many) boxes with a pair of scissors.
Isaac: "Joni cut her finger when she was opening one of our car boxes."
Me: "She did?"
Isaac: "Yes, she was using scissors and she wasn't watching what she was doing."
Me: "Oh. Well that's why we should be very careful when we are using scissors. And you should only use scissors if you are a grown-up."
Isaac: "Is Joni a grown-up?"
*****
Isaac: "Mommy, was Daddy a boy baby when he was little?"
Me: "Yep."
Isaac: "Were you a girl baby when you were little?"
Me: "Yep."
Isaac: "Did you cry a lot?"
Me: "I cried sometimes."
Isaac: "But can we say the word garlic?"
Me: "You can say garlic."
Isaac: "But we can't say shut-up?"
Me: "Right."
Elijah: "Or idiot."
*****
Names I heard Isaac call his brother and sister this past week: cookie pancake and sweet bunny maccaroni. He is constantly making up names, randomly, and saying them. They can be quite funny.
*****
Isaac had gotten his jeans up but hadn't been able to button the pants. "I can't do my unbutton," he told me.