Friday Funnies

Often, if the boys have to go to the bathroom, they will try to take whatever snack they are eating into the bathroom with them so that Scrubby or their sister or their brother doesn't get it. I have been reminding them that food does not go in the bathroom. They need to leave it on a kitchen counter. Today Isaac said to me, "But why doesn't food go in the bathroom? Because people could pee on it?" Yeah, something like that.
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A fly smacker a fly swatter in our house. By both boys.
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The boys were cleaning up their toys.
Elijah: "Isaac is not helping me."
Me: "Well, if he doesn't, you can watch the movie, and he can't."
Elijah: "Now he's helping me Mom!"
Isaac: "I'm not helping you. I'm helping myself."
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Isaac continues to call crazy names. His latest, "Stop it you taste tester."
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Elijah: "Why you call Mommy a bun?"
JB: "No, I called her a babe."
Elijah: "Why?"
JB: "Because she's my babe."
Elijah: "No, she's my babe."
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The boys did Vacation Bible School this past week. They seemed to love it. The theme is "sky" and they are using airplane and birds and things that fly to illustrate God's infinite love for us. Sometimes, however, three year olds fail to make the connection.
Me: "So what did you guys learn about in VBS today?"
Isaac: "We learned about airplanes."
Me: "Airplanes. Really?"
Isaac: "Yeah."
Elijah: "No Isaac. We didn't learn about airplanes."
(At this point I think, Okay, Elijah is going to say what it actually was they learned about God as it related to airplanes ...)
Me: "Oh. You didn't? What did you learn about Sidge?"
Elijah: "We learned about birds."
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When you pass gas in our house, we encourage the kids to say, "Excuse me." Isaac did just that and when I asked him what he should say, he said, "P.U."
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Ever since he read about Jesus dying, death is a subject of infatuation in our house. This morning JB picked up his Ipod and said, "Oh man. It's almost dead." Elijah quickly turned and said, "What Daddy? It died?" Time to explain the difference between batteries (which can be recharged) and people.
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Getting a little out of breath, Isaac put his hand on his chest and said,"Is that my heart beeping?" I smiled thinking that was very cute. Elijah then asked why a heart beeps. Isaac went on to explain the emergency defibrillators (AED's) that he saw around Base. He had been questioning these so repeatedly, that I asked JB to please explain them. Isaac's explanation was, "And then if the beeping stops, you gotta put that thing in the BX on the wall on your chest."
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Elijah: "When I get bigger, I am going to brush my teeth and spit it out."
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I was retelling JB about a conversation that the boys and I had had earlier that day. "Elijah told me he wants to live with me forever," I said, as the boys looked on. "But Isaac said he wants to get married and have his own house." Both boys nodded, but then Isaac commented, "But I don't know how to build a house all by myself."
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Every evening, Elijah wants us to come into his room multiple times to "fix his blanket." This is a constant battle. We have started telling him, "You go try it first. We know you can do it. You are very smart." Tonight, Elijah replied, "I'm only a little bit smart." He is constantly trying to work things out so we will go in there and fix his blanket!
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I was showing the boys a picture of their great-grandmother, JB's father's mother, Theresa. I explained that she was in heaven. Somehow we started discussing burials. I told them that they we bury people in the dirt. Isaac was aghast. "But we can't see in the dirt!" he said.
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Isaac has been very into relationships. Who my parents are. Who JB's parents are. Yesterday he saw a picture of JB and asked me, "Is that your husband?"
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I guess I tell the kids a lot, "Hold on. That was funny. I gotta go write it down on the computer." (And no writing it down on paper first -- that's just an extra step.) Today, during lunch, Isaac held up a cheese stick and a square of PB & J and had the cheese stick say to the sandwhich, "Here's my boyfriend." Then he turned to me and said, "Do you need to write that down on the 'puter?" Then he put the cheese stick on his head and said, "Is there something on my head?" and then, "How 'bout that on the 'puter Ma Ma?"
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Me: "You guys already had a snack. If you are still hungry, you can have some fruit."
Elijah: "Or what?"
Me: "Or nothing. You can have fruit. You can have a banana or an apple or some strawberries."
Elijah: "Or some chocolate. Right Mom?"