One week from today . . .

Folks. Big news here. One week from today until Hans & Rachel's wedding! How exciting is that!? She had an exciting post yesterday. It was about communication in marriage. JB and I have been married ten years and we are still learning the fine art of communication.

I have realized that the fine art of communication is stretched to its capacity when your husband is working ninety hours during one week. I hesitate to write this because I know some of our fellow "residential" friends are doing this regularly, and thus I feel guilty voicing complaints.

The first 3-4 months of residency in the fall of 2007 were very hard. JB started with some very hard rotations, and because some of the other husbands were on easier ones, I thought it was just me who was totally unprepared to watch my husband live at the hospital. I felt I would never survive internship year, nonetheless residency.

There were other hard things about that period of our life. I didn't know many people. We had just moved here. We didn't have a church. I was recovering from a fourth failed IVF. We were preparing to start the adoption process. It was during this period that JB surprised me with my puppy. (Probably the single best thing he could have ever done for me during those early, lonely days!)

But following those 3-4 months, the next 3-4 were relatively painless in comparison. There were a few difficult weeks scattered throughout including a section of nights that I spent with my family in Fort Lauderdale, but overall, it was smooth sailing during the winter and spring.

Then, right around the time Isaac was born, I was smacked right upside the head and reminded that my husband is indeed an intern. He spent two weeks on nights which leave him a zombie. Add to that the fact that I was sleeping about as much as he was with a newborn at home, and we were two zombies passing in the night.

Right on the tail of nights, he started his internal medicine rotation. He is now one week into that rotation. Not only is he working 12-14 hour days Monday thru Friday, but he has call two times during the month. That goes from early Saturday morning until early Sunday morning, requiring that Sunday be used to sleep before returning to the grind on Monday.

JB just called me about 30 minutes ago and told me that he had a break in the sea of admissions. Could Isaac and I come up and bring him dinner? Of course we could. I packed a meal for JB and me, loaded Isaac into the car, gave Scrubs a bone so he didn't drive my Dad nuts while I was gone, and drove to the hospital.

By the time I had made the 1.7 mile drive and paged JB, he was at the door to greet me and tell me not to bother coming in. Another admission. And not just any admission. Some high ranking somebody which meant he couldn't leave him waiting at all. Sigh. Big sigh. I tried to feign my contentment with the situation, but inside, I was so frustrated. JB climbed into the backseat to talk to Isaac for a few minutes, I sent both meals with him as there was no way to split them up right there in the parking lot, and climbed back into the car for the 1.7 mile jaunt back home.

I flashed back to our first year of marriage, when I was in my senior year of college basketball. I remember coming home one evening to find dinner on the table only to have to tell JB that my coach was requiring us to go to some last minute autograph session instead. He looked crushed. I felt horrible.

Tonight, the situation was flipped. Neither side felt good.

On the way back, my absolute favorite hymn was playing on the CD in my Dad's car: How Great Thou Art. A quick reminder that this life is fleeting and in the grand scheme of things, how important was a blown dinner with my husband? Not very, but at the time, it seemed like a much bigger thing.

So, to Hans and Rachel, the soon-to-be-married couple, a reminder that communication is something you are always working on. I'll leave my advice at that, as I know advice can get quite annoying! :) During the last few weeks, JB and I have had many missed efforts at proper communication. When you are only in the house and awake for a handful of minutes at the same time each day, properly communicating is hard. You try as hard as you can, but you are tired and in a hurry, and conversations are put off or edited, and as a result small issues emerge.

But marriage is wonderful. I love being married. Even when I see my husband for 13 minutes a day, he is still the best man in the whole world. Marriage gets a bad rap. Not enough people sing its praises. I love being married. You are entering into a wonderful season in your lives, and I have no doubt you will never regret the decision you are making in just one week. Congrats guys! JB and I are about to celebrate ten years this June. So from the "old couple", I say, marriage is awesome -- and those communication gaps, make it an adventure. Can't wait to see you tie the knot!

And, I also can't wait to spend some time with my husband!

P.S. Have to give a big shout out to Veronica (aka Victoria) R. on her 16th birthday. Man am I old.