Thursday, December 11, 2014

To the Trader Joe’s Employee Who Noticed My Family in the Parking Lot

It's funny.

Whenever any article surrounding adoption "emerges" on Facebook, I am immediately made aware of that article by all of you. Friends, family, people I don't know very well tag me and email me and share with me these amazing stories. The stories remind them of me or make them think of me or they just want to know what I think of it.

One of the stories this week was this one:

An obvious adopted mother (pictured above) was approached at Trader Joe's with a bouquet of flowers. The women handed her the flowers and then said:

“I was adopted as a baby, and it has been a wonderful thing. We need more families like yours.” I stared at her, stunned. Hadn’t she seen what a disaster we were in the store? Didn’t she see that we were barely able to keep it together? Didn’t she see what I felt were all my failures as a mom?"

I love this story because I often feel this way. Our adoption isn't visibly obvious since Isaac blends nearly seamlessly into our family. But because I have decided to be very open about our adoption, our family is often a bit of the "poster child" for adoption in the circles in which we frequent.

I hear all kinds of comments that basically circle around how wonderful we are to have adopted or how great it is that we run this organization or that we talk so freely about adoption and have made it so much a part of our life.

I feel like these people sometimes look at me like I have some "talent" that they don't have. That I am doing something so amazing that is so far beyond their own capabilities. 

And sometimes I nearly have to laugh because most days I feel like I am barely hanging on. Some days I have to wonder if there is a hidden camera filming the absurdity of the adventures that befall a mother of four young children like myself.

I am just a human being.
I am far from perfect.
I'm simply forgiven.
And trying hard at this mothering thing like all of you.
I do NOT have it altogether.
I am not calm, cool and collected like you might see me at any given moment.
I am counting to ten.
I am taking deep breaths.
I am mumbling prayers.
I am asking forgiveness.
From God and my children.
And I am waking up to try to do the next day better than the one before.

But what we do have is love.

That's it.

Just love.

And that is something that anyone is capable of.
Even you.
Adoption isn't just for me.
It might be for you too.

Just something to think about.

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