This morning, JB and Connie and the boys left to take a free hike with Outdoor Recreation on Base. Aunt Connie heard about it and signed us up! I was hopeful to go in John's place, but the mornings are still a bit rough for me so I opted to stay home with Abigail. I can't wait to see photos from their "hot chocolate hike." The boys were so excited!
Abigail just went down for her nap. I plan to rest here in a minute too but wanted to take the opportunity to put a brief update on the blog as to how I am doing.
Firstly, I wanted to summarize, briefly, what sort of "happened" to me during this IVF journey.
I took a drug called lupron which basically puts you into menopause. It shuts your ovaries completely down. While I have used this drug many times and definitely had emotional upheaval, this time I really got "down." It wasn't terrible but I was definitely clouded by depression and anxiety. This started around the first week of December.
However, we went home to America, and while I was definitely not the Wendi I was used to being, I handled the trip pretty okay. I couldn't do as much as I had previously and had trouble making decisions and cried frequently, but I was okay.
On the way back to Lajes, however, I went through a bit of a tailspin. I had already lost about 10-12 pounds while in America. (My appetite had been effected by the emotions.) I was very tired, we had to do an overnight flight, I was (and didn't know it yet) pregnant, and when we got back to our house, couldn't fall asleep.
Someday, maybe I'll discuss the 10-14 days that follows, but I sort of had a bit of a "breakdown." My aunt and husband and friend Carla were there to support me through this. I just stayed home and worked on recovering. I started having morning sickness during this time and a bad sick bug went through our house. All of this at the same time just kind of broke me down.
But I did not stay down Praise the Lord.
I can now say that I have basically come out of this. Aunt Connie said to me yesterday, "You totally seem like the old Wendi today" and I feel like she is right. I am almost there.
I am still sick from this pregnancy but am not nearly as nauseated as I was for two weeks there. I am functioning well, taking care of my family, and actually "thriving." I am doing activities again and venturing back into the community.
I thank all of you who prayed for me during this time. God took good care of me and brought the people around me that I needed!
Thanking God that I am really starting to feel like myself again!
2 comments:
I am so thankful that you have come out of your dark place. And thank you for sharing what you can about it. I'm not sure if you realize how many women you probably encourage through writing about depression and anxiety.
Love you Wendi! So excited about the life growing inside of you and about the three precious gifts that we have been able to see you and John raise through this blog.
Glad you are back!!
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