I've stood beside a few people in my life that are hurting. It is not easy to do. You want to say the right thing. You want to do the right thing. But what is the right thing.
I don't have a reason in my life to feel sad right now. Life is a-ok and even better than a-ok. But for some reason, I am in a pit. I am climbing out of it. But it is a hard climb.
If you haven't dealt with depression and/or anxiety, you may not know what it feels like. Thus, you don't know how to stand along side someone who is dealing with the darkness of it, like I am right now.
I am filling myself with scriptures and happiness and sunlight and goodness, but some days I still struggle to stop crying. Some days I can barely put a foot in front of the other. Some days it feels like I am walking through cement.
My mom sent me an ecard today, a way to "stand along side me from afar." She is not trying to fix something that she can't fix. All she can do is love me and pray. I also love when she tells me that she has her "ladies praying." I know my moms "ladies" and they will REALLY pray. Oh do I need people who are saying they will pray for me and are REALLY praying.
My Aunt and husband are living with me through this bit of darkness. The Lord could not have brought two people who can stand alongside me better than they are. Connie wrote an email that really meant a lot to me:
I don't like your depression / but you, I love
I get bored of the depression / but you are never boring
When you round the corner & I see the depression in your eyes - I'm disappointed & frustrated w/the depression - not disappointed and frustrated with you
Sometimes I think of depression as a very unwelcome guest - - in a black suit w/a black hat, following behind you and lurking round corners and I want him to go away and leave us all alone!
Dear one - don't be discouraged with YOU. All the negative things with the depression is NOT you!
These small things are great reminders for me. If you are standing alongside someone who is sad today, whether it be for a reason or for a chemically induced reason (as mine is), or for no reason at all, the best thing you can do is just stand alongside them.
And PRAY for them.
3 comments:
Hugs and prayers (and I'm really praying) :D
Bethany
You have had a lot of artificial hormones in your body for the last several months and that is stressful and the daily progesterone that you have been one can cause many women to experience feelings of sadness, not to mention the entire FET process itself, so please be gentle with yourself and give yourself some time to feel better. Healing does not happen overnight. Take medication if you need to to get your body chemistry back where in needs to be, back in balance. That is what medicine is for.
I understand. Depression runs in my family so I have my moments, too.
Please know that I'm really praying for you. :)
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