Today was a very up and down day for me. The morning went incredibly smoothly and the lunch hour included great food and conversation with Becky at our favorite Greek restaurant while my Mom watched the boys. The late afternoon, however, included some moments of stress as I attempted to balance the two babies and dog. (Some spit up blood by Elijah and a huge hole in the backyard courtesy of our black and white friend were some of the highlights.) These moments are always compounded by a bit of fatigue and currently, an urgent readiness for these weeks of nights to come to a close.
I have realized that I must focus on the day at present. Usually, during these stressful moments, it is not what is currently happening that is causing me stress. It is the thought of how I can handle these stressful moments when I am on my own that cause me to worry. How silly is that? The moment itself is taken care of. The moment itself is not the problem. The moment itself is one that I handle and get through. Yet during those moments the fear of upcoming moments and my inability to handle them causes me spiral into a tailspin!
What will I do when my Mom is gone? How will I handle nights in the future without someone here with me? And these are just my current worries. I must admit that worry has been a sin I have struggled with for my entire life. When I was a child I worried about someone who was mad at me or an assignment that I had forgotten about. As an adult I still worry about upsetting someone or letting someone down. When I was working I worried about juggling all my responsibilities and not letting my boss down. There will always be something to worry about. Currently it is my family responsibilities. But next week it could be something new.
Just writing this out makes me feel so silly! If I am handling the current moment, then why I am fearful of the upcoming one? It's just worry about things that haven't happened and probably won't happen! JB reminds me of this on a daily basis. He keeps telling me that I am doing a great job taking care of that day. Just take care of that one and stop worrying that there will come a day I am unable to take care of.
My Mom reminded me that the Israelites were given enough manna for one day. That meant that they had to gather it and not think about what they would have for the next day. Saving the manna for the following day only caused it to go bad. They had to gather with complete trust that God would do the same for them the next day.
I know most of you reading this probably have your own little "thing" causing you some concern. Anyone want to share what your "trust God for the manna" event in your own life is? Or maybe how you choose to keep your focus on the day at present and not get ahead of yourself. I think it might make us all feel better (or at least make me feel better) to know that this is not something we are dealing with on our own.
As I move into the living room to feed Elijah before bed, please pray that I work to simply concern myself with the day at hand and let tomorrow worry about itself!
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.