Once again I stole a picture from Joia's blog entry. Last night Elijah and I went out on the town. Okay, so actually it wasn't the town. It was the home of Dr. S. This was the doctor who did my c-section. His wife has been attempting to get some of the residents wives together and this was their second get-together -- the first that I was able to attend. We had a wonderful evening talking, compiling lists of helpful information for incoming wives, and eating food including one awesome dessert by Joia.Today was a very up and down day for me. The morning went incredibly smoothly and the lunch hour included great food and conversation with Becky at our favorite Greek restaurant while my Mom watched the boys. The late afternoon, however, included some moments of stress as I attempted to balance the two babies and dog. (Some spit up blood by Elijah and a huge hole in the backyard courtesy of our black and white friend were some of the highlights.) These moments are always compounded by a bit of fatigue and currently, an urgent readiness for these weeks of nights to come to a close.
I have realized that I must focus on the day at present. Usually, during these stressful moments, it is not what is currently happening that is causing me stress. It is the thought of how I can handle these stressful moments when I am on my own that cause me to worry. How silly is that? The moment itself is taken care of. The moment itself is not the problem. The moment itself is one that I handle and get through. Yet during those moments the fear of upcoming moments and my inability to handle them causes me spiral into a tailspin!
What will I do when my Mom is gone? How will I handle nights in the future without someone here with me? And these are just my current worries. I must admit that worry has been a sin I have struggled with for my entire life. When I was a child I worried about someone who was mad at me or an assignment that I had forgotten about. As an adult I still worry about upsetting someone or letting someone down. When I was working I worried about juggling all my responsibilities and not letting my boss down. There will always be something to worry about. Currently it is my family responsibilities. But next week it could be something new.
Just writing this out makes me feel so silly! If I am handling the current moment, then why I am fearful of the upcoming one? It's just worry about things that haven't happened and probably won't happen! JB reminds me of this on a daily basis. He keeps telling me that I am doing a great job taking care of that day. Just take care of that one and stop worrying that there will come a day I am unable to take care of.
My Mom reminded me that the Israelites were given enough manna for one day. That meant that they had to gather it and not think about what they would have for the next day. Saving the manna for the following day only caused it to go bad. They had to gather with complete trust that God would do the same for them the next day.
I know most of you reading this probably have your own little "thing" causing you some concern. Anyone want to share what your "trust God for the manna" event in your own life is? Or maybe how you choose to keep your focus on the day at present and not get ahead of yourself. I think it might make us all feel better (or at least make me feel better) to know that this is not something we are dealing with on our own.
As I move into the living room to feed Elijah before bed, please pray that I work to simply concern myself with the day at hand and let tomorrow worry about itself!
Matthew 6:25-34
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
13 comments:
GREAT reminder! :)
I love hearing Ryan ask, "Did you do school? Did you have a quiet time? Did everyone eat? Then you took care of the important stuff!"
I love being reminded of what REALLY matters and that it is all ok! :)
Thanks...love you!
Wendi, can't even tell you how much I needed this post today! Wow. Ironically enough, just last night I read that passage about the manna from heaven and also was struck by the message. Thanks!
John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
Just a verse to hopefully encourage you, Wendi. Having 2 little boys is GOD'S special and perfect plan for you, but He doesn't expect or want you to do it on your own. Praying for you! =)
Steph
You have encouraging friends!
I came back b/c I saw your comment on my blog. Looks like E and B will need to make you a pudding soon. They would LOVE to do that for you! :) yummy, yummy!
I am a huge worrier, too, but I always remember that God will never give me more than I can handle!!! I love your haircut, too!
Ah, the downward spiral of worrying....I can so relate!
Something that has helped me time and again is this little poem that I read a couple of years ago on the girltalk blog. Especially when I look around and think "How can I possibly do this!?" Maybe it will be helpful to you as well when you're feeling overwhelmed.
Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment my moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.
Fear not tomorrows, Child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, ‘DO THE NEXT THING.’
Do it immediately; do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His Hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ’neath His wing,
Leave all resultings, ‘DO THE NEXT THING.’”
--author unknown
Oh worry, yes, definitely worry is a big one for me. What next, when, how, what if...what if, what if. Endlessly.
Right now I'm struggling with not resenting a fertile friend who's pregnant. I need to give that one to God bigtime. That and our future FET and etc.
Sigh.
Makes me itch with worry just thinking about it all.
Good luck with things. It'll be ok, when you're alone with them. No one will die. And if no one dies, it's a good day! :)
Lately, I've been stressing about up and coming events myself. I've chuckled because I thought of Scarlet O'Hara in, "Gone with the Wind", when she says, "I can't think about that now, I'll think about that tomorrow". :)
I also love that song by the Rascal Flats. I think it's called "Stand". He says you feel like a candle in a hurricane. Life comes at you hard sometimes. You bend, maybe even break, but then you fall on your knees, raise your hands to the sky, and you stand. Brings tears every time. :)
Linda
I am also a big worry wart. I over analyze things and then over worry as well. I lost my mom this past week and I've been really trying to trust God to get me through this. It is hard to not think about upcoming family gatherings and events that will forever be changed, or to worry about how all of the things that need to be taken care of for her estate will get done. But God is good and I know he will get my family through these tough times.
Be strong, your boys are beautiful :) There will be tough times ahead but the little smiles, "mama"s, and all the precious moments will make all the worry and struggle more than worth it. Lean on God and He will see you through it all.
Peace and Prayers
- Dana
Wendi,
I don't really comment much at all. I know you from Hannah's prayer (from a while ago) and have continued to read your blog. My daily "trust God for the manna" moments concern our adoption from Russia. We have no idea how much longer we'll have to wait before we "get the call" about our referral, but I've learned that I can't worry about how much longer it could be - I've just got to get through the day at hand. I have to just rely on God's grace to get me through each day and not focus on the future.
Hang in there!!
Dear Wendi,
"Jesus Calling" Sept. 22
Trust Me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks--or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. Because I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work alongside Me.
You can read the rest.
Keep your focus on the Lord, and He will enable you to accomplish everything.
Love you,
Joan
Wen, I could have written this post myself. That IS my problem. You nailed it.
*sigh*
I needed that poem from Joy Z today w/ much unknown in our life. I want to memorize it - and am working on reminding myself how God has lead, provided and "been with us always" even to the ends of the earth for the last 30 years of my marriage -how can I not trust the One who loved me enuf to die for me...these are some of my 'strategies' but that poem spoke powerfully to my heart cuz i know the "next thing to do" -that is enuf -enuf light for the step ahead! love you Wen! Tante Jan
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