Comfort for the Barren

I had mentioned in yesterday's post that I had found some great comfort in scripture recently. One of these was a rather obscure passage in Psalm 113. I wanted to share it with you.

Praise the LORD. Praise, O servants of the LORD, praise the name of the LORD.

Let the name of the LORD be praised, both now and forevermore.

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the LORD is to be praised.

The LORD is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens.

Who is like the LORD our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, with the princes of their people.

He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.

The reason that this passage so greatly ministers to me was due to some guilt I have recently had. Lately I have felt like I really needed to quit worry about this infertility "thing" so much. There are so many people who have bigger problems, bigger concerns. C'mon Wendi. Really. Get over it already. Move on.

The problem was, I just couldn't. As much peace as I have had and trust in the Lord that I have been blessed with, the sadness wouldn't go away. Holidays are especially difficult. Every event at church centers around "families" and "children", and for an infertile couple not living by their family, this becomes even harder to stomach. (More on this in a future post.) I begged the Lord to take away the desire and the sadness, but despite the fact that I have found peace and trust, I still have not been able to not feel this continual longing and a reminder, so often, how quiet our house is.

However, if my problem was so trivial, why did it hurt me so much on such a daily basis? Why was every painful reminder so painful? Than I read this scripture with JB the other night, and we both realized that the Lord is including our plight amongst the plight of the needy and poor. He realizes that being barren is painful and difficult, and feels that it is important enough for David to include us in this Psalm. Of course, He also says that he settles us in our homes as mothers -- another huge comfort. I also read as Hannah told the Lord to "give her children or let her die." Hannah's words are all too familiar.

I went to bed that night feeling as if the Lord had come down in physical form and told me, "I know this is painful. It is a painful thing, and it is okay that it hurts." That gave me great comfort and helped eliminate some of my guilt. Peace and trust are integral parts of moving forward, but that doesn't mean your circumstances don't hurt.

In other news ...

Yesterday was a nice day. Ron and Ebby and their beautiful children were a great distraction. Santa Claus III was not. I advise all my infertile friends to avoid it like the plague. Now Ron and Ebby don't completely agree -- they actually gave it 2.5 stars. However, JB and I would have given it somewhere around 1, and the fact that the entire plot centers around a VERY pregnant Mrs. Claus, is just another reason to stay away.

Survivor, however, was EXCELLENT. Our favorite tribe got the swing vote last night! Fabulous. And seriously, we were so blessed that Ron and Ebby let us hang out with them yesterday. It would not have been a good day to celebrate just the two of us. Brandon & Kristen may have been our only other friends in town, and they also offered an invite. Speaking of them, I wonder how Kristen's first turkey experience went?! :)

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am currently waiting for a call back from the nurse. It is time to draw up a sketch for the next 6 weeks as we prepare for another transfer in January. We are also putting plans in the works for me to join JB in Nigeria in March since I won't be very pregnant if pregnant at all. We are hoping to meet with a travel doctor to discuss this option sometime next week.

Oh, and the biggest news of ALL?! One of JB's classmates got ENGAGED yesterday. Hmmm ... who is it? Well, I am currently waiting for pictures for my blog. When I get the pictures, I will post the pictures with the name. Another clue: I am very good friends with his fiancee'. Any ideas anyone? (And if he TOLD you, you can't guess!)