Be a Good Friend

Life is hard sometimes. 

And then sometimes, friends remind you that you are not alone. That they are thinking about you.

This week I had two different friends just stop what they were doing to do something nice for me. 

They weren't huge things.

But to me? 

They meant the world.

What if everyday we picked one person and did ONE Nice thing for them. 

Wouldn't the world be a better place?

Today my son, Sidge, who has the hugest heart EVER did just that for his little sister.

Hannah had made a bird feeder with her cousin Ana that broke shortly after they set it up. When Sidge heard what happened, he went into the garage, all by himself, got into Grampa's scrap wood box, and started making a platform bird feeder for Hannah:

As always he was hard on himself. He wasn't happy with how it turned out or the mistakes he made. But Hannah was thrilled. And we were so proud of our boy. We didn't even know he knew how to put this stuff together, but he did.

Little things. 

Do something little today for someone that will mean something big.

 

The Disease of Entitlement

A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~ 

sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!

Happy TribeLife Tuesday! I hope these words find you well.

Today I want to share with you a pain I feel for a growing epidemic. This epidemic is spreading and there is an antidote but it seems as though many reject it. This epidemic is called Entitlement and it is a disease that can and will rot the soul of humanity.

Entitlement is the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. It’s a dangerous disease and it is threatening the life of the overwhelming majority of our country. As I look back over our history as a nation (the USA, that is) the disease has seemed to grow the most over the last quarter century give or take a few years. This craving for recognition, acceptance by others above all else, unaddressed pain points from former generations, etc. are spreading this sickness.

There are real, inhumane, gross, tragic things have happened in our country and around the world. Things that no society should ever have to endure. But how can we acknowledge those injustices and move forward with hope and courage?

We wrestle- wrestle with the pain. It’s ok to be hurt and not have an answer to let pain take it’s course. It will heal over time. Next, we honor - we honor those who suffered. I have found one of the most effective ways to keep my view accurate view is Honor. It’s a beautifully humbling experience for the giver and delightful gift for the receiver. Lastly, we forgive- we forgive those who have inflicted pain on us whether directly or indirectly, because if we don’t we create the perfect breeding ground for entitlement. Practically this may not look like you reaching out to every person who has ever hurt and telling them you’re fine. This resolution is for you. Release them from your brain space and say it out loud. I forgive you __________ for _________. This is a powerful way to build your immune system against entitlement.

And then they’re are our VITAL, DAILY antidotes:

• Thankfulness for what you have and for the future
• Gratitude for who you have around 
• Kindness to strangers 
• Empathy for another
• Serving to someone who needs your help

These undoubtedly will keep this disease of entitlement at bay. 

We all carry the disease it’s a matter of how much of you, that you allow to be consumed. In our western culture we have been afforded a lot of opportunities and I personally can overlook that at times as a right. It’s not. It’s a gift to be treated as such. 

Tell us, what is one way you fight the disease of entitlement?


See you next week,

Carrie

Hiding in Plain Sight

A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~ 

sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!

Happy TribeLife Tuesday!

Is hiding the best place not to be seen?

 

As I have gotten older, my bent has become to hide before being misunderstood. UGH no! I don’t even agree with this statement, but it has been what I have lived over the last half decade. So what is one to do about that?

When I intentionally sit down and reflect on how I got here and when I ask myself what has contributed to this posture, the beautiful unraveling begins. There were so many years when standing in who I was, was misinterpreted and then labeled. Because labeling someone makes it easier for us to comprehend. Putting people into the "appropriate" box alleviates our responsibility to stay human, to choose kindness, and to walk in humility. Unfortunately it also feeds the beast of judgement and if there is one thing our culture doesn’t need more of, it's judgement. With each encounter we have with others, we get the opportunity to see them for who they are. Not even so much who they portray, but the greatness of who they are. 

Seeing people for who they are, most of the time, takes us out of the equation. It’s not about how we perceive them, it’s about seeing beyond the surface. I have found it to be much easier to see people when I choose kindness first, when I refuse to cast a preconceived notion on them. For example, I live in a very urban area and with that comes a plethora of humanity. Our homeless population is pretty large and they are very much a part of our community. I have been in my office (aka: coffee shops) and have had the privilege of witnessing something palliative. It’s the well dressed business person alongside the table where the homeless person takes a moment to rest. This is a beautifully raw part of life. 

So, let's get back to preconceived notions. It is easy to see the homeless person at the stop light, avoid eye contact, and pray the light turns green before they walk past your window. I get it, I’ve been there. I once ran a red light just to avoid having to sit at the intersection with a homeless person. I felt guilty about it for days, so I’m not proud of that moment. But that’s just it. I saw a beggar who needed something from me that I didn’t want to give. Time and money. It was about me and what I perceived they needed. I labeled them and ran past. And the crazy thing is, even as I write this, I’m realizing the same thing has been done to me. I have also been perceived as something, labeled, and pushed away. The truth is—we all have. Tribe, this is never a fun experience. But misunderstandings are avoidable if we chose courage over fear. 

Have you ever been misunderstood? Labeled? Pushed away? 

If so, then you have the gift of awareness and you get to be part of the solution. You get to course-correct for the next person. 

Ellen Degeneres summed it up perfectly when she said, “Give and be kind.” 

Are you in?

Carrie