I continue to work HARD on my mental health. Sometimes the journey feels impossible. Will I ever, successfully, get through this. My Aunt told me she'd rather have a root canal without novocaine and then be felt-up by Captain Hook. This made me laugh, but it really is accurate. Trying to work my way through depression and anxiety is HARD.
So this handout that my friend Stebbs gave me today really resonated with me. In 2024, I was just trying to find my way out of depression and anxiety. But now, I'm not just doing that. I'm actually trying to fix some things that are broken.
PEOPLE PLEASING is the thing that God is working on me with right now. Who do I live for? Am I afraid to speak truth to people? Do I compromise to keep the peace?
The answer to all of these things is "YES!" This is how I lived. I lived in desperation to never have someone be upset at me or not like at me. When you really discuss that, you realize how impossible that attempt actually is. It's impossible. Not everyone will like me. And people will get upset with me. Especially if I am living like I am not which is speaking truth instead of pushing things under the rug.
So here I am: trying to live in that. Trying to allow myself to release things that God has asked me to release. His yoke is EASY! Really? Then why do I feel things are so heavy? Because I don't allow myself to not carry all that extra!
Emotional weight of things I can't control? YES, I HAVE BEEN CARRYING THAT!
The tendency to shrink to make others more comfortable? OH YES.
The need to over-explain boundaries? OHHHHH BOY.
The fear of being misunderstood. YEP YEP YEP.
Wendi is working to not live that way anymore. And you want to know the main reason? Because my CHILDREN deserve to not live with me teaching these things to them. I want them to have the freedom that I am having to work for. I am working HARD to allow them to not be slaves to whether or not people are happy with you.
I'm working ...
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