Obsessed

 

I have never been a huge fan of Mother's Day -- mainly because my decade of infertility really inflicted some damage in that regard. We never do much in our home for this day, and I'm perfectly fine with that. 

But yesterday, each of my kiddos and husband gave me something. Sidge gave me coupons to play Wingspan since I love to play that game, and when John is working, I struggle to find a partner. Each of the other three kiddos wrote me a card. Their words really mattered to me. Especially hearing from 17-year-old teenager. That mattered. 

You know what mattered most? It mattered that he told me he felt heard by me. He felt seen by me. Each time one of my kids comes to me with a problem, I get so excited! They need me. They want me! They can feel our connection inside of them. I am obsessed with making sure they can always feel that.

But if they never wrote me anything or said anything or gave me any gifts ... I don't care. What I want more than anything is that their body feels at peace near mine. I want my body to cause their blood pressure to go down. I want them to know that in Mom's presence, they can rest. I want them to feel that I am on their team, fighting for them, encouraging them, loving them. 

Remember THE BIG 6. I won't ever forget THE BIG 6. These are the six things that kids most need to feel from their parents. I've spoken about them a lot on the Blog, but if you have forgotten them, here they are again. 

I keep reminding myself. I only need to get it right about 33% of the time for my children to develop a secure connection with me. I can mess up a lot. (But if I mess up, I need seek repair.)

My life has become about these four humans I have and making sure my imprint is IN THEM every single day! They've been my purpose for seventeen years, but this past year, as I've restructured my priorities, I've realized THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD! I don't consider it just an "I hope they know this" responsibility. I am making FOR SURE that they do! 

The message that they take into adulthood, the recording in the back of their brain ... IT WILL BE MY VOICE! What will they be hearing? Will they be hearing yells and screams and frustrations and nagging and shaming. Or will they be hearing encouragement and love and support and direction and guidance? 

If you haven't been playing a good soundtrack in your child's head -- don't beat yourself up. Simply CHANGE IT. It can be altered. Ask for their forgiveness and START NOW!