Saturday, June 02, 2012

Letter to a Military Spouse

This is a forward that has been floating around for awhile. But even if it is "old news" it means something to someone like me, someone who is preparing to move across the world ... again ... because I am married to a military man. Thank a military family today. They need it.

While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you and your husband, I felt the need to write you and express a very deep feeling that I have in my heart.

I as a person, am not brave. I do not tackle things head on, as I hate confrontation. I will travel 100 miles out of my way just to avoid a conflict. I am a American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other that what I hear on the news. I never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they did not know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven’t heard from my husband. I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.

I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn’t coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren’t yet old enough to understand. I have never had to hold my head up high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.

And I have never had to feel the panic, rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I cannot tell you that I understand how you feel. I cannot tell you that you must be strong. I cannot say that you shouldn’t be angry, because you " knew what you were getting into when you married a military man." I cannot say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What can I say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as " just another soldier" -- I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control , but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other woman. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you, that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American. I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.

Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.

Until this moment, I had no real reason to… Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us…. But you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what is today.

You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family…I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.

I will never be able to repay this dept to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are… what you doing… what has happened today…or what will happen tomorrow…your husband will NEVER be " just another soldier" to me… And you, my dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.

You are all in my prayers everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

Sincerely,
Melissa G. Bouldin-Reeves

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was raised in a military family. My father was not at home during my younger years so now I really have no relationship with him. I get that in today's world things are tough for military families, but I really think that there are many other families that we forget to thank for their service. Now some of these families may not have to go through separation because of their service or face life/death on a daily basis, but there could very well be other trials and tribulations. And while I would venture to say you are biased because you are a military wife, let's not forget others such as, policemen, firemen, teachers, high tech workers who are serving in tough countries, etc. My mother got married and immediately moved away from her family. The military (from what I recall) provided a fantastic home away from home support system. My family made great friends and yes, it sucked when we had to move every couple of years, but we got to see the world and do things that others would never dream of doing. Yea, it's tough, but it is the life that was chosen by my father and he served for 23 years - he didn't join up just to cover his college expenses. We as a family adapted and made do just fine - just like many other military families who suck it up and serve. I remember those years fondly!

Dana said...

Love this post! My dad served in the Navy for 28 years. Our moving and military life made us an extremely close bonded family. Home was never a place just wherever we were together. I married a man who has lived in the same place all of his life, where our 4 children have been born and lived. I have not been part of the military life for 17 years but I still identify as a "military brat". My oldest son's greatest dream is to be in the Air Force, he is a rising junior in high school who is well on his way to achieving his desire to enter the Air Force Academy. I could not be prouder of his fervent desire to serve his country. I love when people who have never experienced the sadness, joy and overwhelming feeling of pride take a moment to acknowledge the sacrifices of the military wife (or husband and family). I am thankful for people like you and your husband who put aside their own comforts and lives to support the country we all call home. It can be a thankless job since most people see "the military" as a nameless, faceless entity forgetting their are actual sons, daughters, fathers, ect. making up our great armed forces. So, Thank You John for your service and Thank You Wendi, Issac, Elijah and Abigail for being there to support and comfort him so he can continue to be a hero to all of us.