During all the years since time began,
Today has been the friend of man;
but in his blindness and his sorrow,
He looks to yesterday and tomorrow.
Forget past trials and your sorrow.
There was, but is, no yesterday,
And there may be no tomorrow.
Yesterday was a tough day for me. Once again, I feel like I took a chance, got my hopes up, and then when things didn't go as planned, I got frustrated. I gave myself permission to be a little bit (okay, a lot) frustrated yesterday. I appreciate those of you who talked to me yesterday (you know who you are) and just love me and encourage me and make me laugh (Hey what do you call a cow with no legs?! Ground beef. Duh!) and those of you who I woke up today to find emails from. I really needed that and it was very appreciated.
Last night when I was talking to some close family, I remembered that they had given me a handout on the statistics of their clinic. In 2002, Mayo Clinic was rated the #1 clinic in the world. While they were closed last year, here are their statistics in 2003.
In women under 30 years of age (me), they had:
- 47 people start the IVF process
- 42 people had a successful retrieval (got some eggs)
- 17 of those people had a positive pregnancy test (40%)
- 4 of those 17 had a miscarriage (24%)
- 13 of the 17 delivered (31%)
- 3 of those 13 had twins (23%)
When he showed me these numbers, I got a little down again, but JB said that medically speaking, those numbers are very good. Actually the stats go up when you get older because they start transfering more embryos and being a little more aggressive.
My other frustration includes the fact that I have to go on the pill from now until the transfer in order to suppress my ovaries. I really don't want to do that. When I "complained" to Dr. Cottington about my trouble handling the progesterone drug he said "Well you and progesterone are going to be good friends." I only took it for five days (as usual) but during IVF I will be taking it for weeks. Both Dr. C and Mary, my favorite nurse, told John he had just as hard of a journey as I do because he has to live with me on all these drugs.
I appreciate all the prayers and encouragement. I am blessed to have the finances to be able to do this. I am blessed to be at Mayo Clinic. I am blessed to have such a wonderful and supportive husband and such caring and encouraging family and friends. I am blessed to live in this day and age when IVF exists. I am blessed that all our tests came back looking so good. One of the best tests was my follicular count. I have 43 of these. Now how the doctor and JB explained this to me is that I have the potential to produce 43 eggs each cycle (they won't let me go that far.) My point is that I have so much to be thankful for.
Have a great day everyone!
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