Ever since we arrived at the farm, I have been helping John and Grampa and now Jacob do the fence moving. But I've always been second in charge. I have said repeatedly, "I don't understand the fencing, and I will never be in charge of that."
But with Jacob preparing to depart in October and Grampa doing less with the animals and more with construction on the farm, it started to become obvious that I need to be able to do this. So the last few weeks I have really focused on learning the process and understanding it.
I have never been very good at seeing "the big picture." I always say that I am a very good second-in-charge gal. Make me the Vice President. But never the President. I just can't swing it and don't like to make the decisions. I also don't think very "logically" as far as seeing things and how they lay out. I love being an assistant coach. I don't like be a head coach. Unless it is a low level where little advanced planning is involved. I've always been like that.
But I have been focusing. And I've been doing it! Last night I moved the sheep entirely by myself! It was a huge accomplishment for me, and I'm really, really proud. Both John and Jacob have given me smiling nods -- which is about all I can get out of either of them quite yet -- but soon I know they will tell me, "You got it!" And I'm excited about that.
I still wonder, nearly every moment that I trudge through pastures and get filthy dirty in pig paddocks: how is this now my life? But while the life is hard, I have to admit that I like it. I like that hard work and sweat and muscles and tears. I really do. I like learning these new things, and I like when my friends come to visit and tell me that I have come a really, really far way.
I am far from being able to run this farm by myself. I hope I never have to. But I am slowly but surely learning more and more.
And I'm proud of myself!