how I ever ...
thought that I could be a homeschooling mom.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?!
There are FOUR of them.
There is ONE of me.
I am outnumbered.
And definitely out energy-ed.
Days like today I truly think:
I can't do this.
I will fail.
I am not capable.
I will not meet their needs.
I should quit now.
My wonderful husband encourages me.
Tells me it was just an off day.
And I know, deep down, he is right.
We did accomplish a lot today.
The kids and I all took our piano lessons.
We went swimming with a homeschool group at the YMCA.
I helped Dan water the animals.
We stopped at a store to pick out birthday presents to give to Hannah.
I did a load of laundry.
I made dinner.
And we got through almost everything on our school "to do" list.
But at one point, I had all four kids in time-out in a different spot in the house.
There was great whaling and gnashing of teeth from all four at different times today.
(And a few times the weeping came from all four of their voices simultaneously.)
And I'm pretty sure someone had a book thrown at their head.
And the response to the punishment was, "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to do that?"
Didn't know you couldn't throw a book at someone's head?
Oh, and another one fell down the stairs.
There was jelly completely coating an entire windowsill.
(Did you know you can paint a windowsill with jelly?)
Deep down I know I am doing okay.
But on days like today, I think, "I'm only really homeschooling half of them right now, and I already feel the walls caving in."
And the voices in my head sing, "Can I really do this?"
I don't know.
All I know is tomorrow.
Tomorrow I try again.
And tonight I am thankful I don't keep chocolate in the house.
Because I would eat it.