Can it be? Me? In Germany?

At long last, it appears, I will in fact be heading to Ramstein, for the sonohysterography I need to complete our fifth round of invitro fertilization (IVF). As always, I don't give exact dates on my blog, but I do leave in the near future.

After the military flight I was supposed to take last month was cancelled two different times, I finally opted to buy a commercial ticket to Germany. It was money I didn't want to spend, but I found a very good deal and decided to just kep things as simple as possible.

We also decided that I would go without any children. Originally, I was going to take Abigail with me -- so as to share the love a bit and not leave Connie and JB with all three kids. But that was when I was flying military and would get a seat for Abigail. With two flights and a long layover in Lisbon, Portugal, there was no way I was going to: (a) pay for a second seat for the baby or (b) take her as a lap child. This means that Connie and JB will have all three kids for three days. And mostly Connie.

The other family physician on the island, our good friend Nick, is out-of-town right now as well. This means JB is carrying an extra large load at work. No getting home early or even a lunch break at home for him. Instead, Connie will be basically running the entire show for the three days I will be gone. She can totally handle it. But it is a lot.

I must be honest. I do not want to go for this procedure at all. I am excited to see my friends Shane and Linda and am so blessed to have them there in Germany to help me get around. (Shane took two whole days off of work to help me! How cool is that?) But I just do not want to start all the invasive stuff that doing IVF entails. I guess you could say I'm nervous. I know I've done this before. But I don't want to do it again. It gives me a stomach ache to think about it. How did I do this for five years?!

I've also been dealing with a lot of hormonal issues from the active-only birth control pills that they have put me on. The pills helped stop the migraines I was suffering from prior to going on it, but they've come with their own slew of issues. My body and hormones have just never been a good combination.

If you could pray for peace and that everything would go according to plans, I would greatly appreciate it. I know ... we know ... that the Lord is in this. We know He is leading us. We just have to take one step at a time. Even if those steps are a bit shaky.