Friday Funnies (Courtesy of Elijah)

Note: Elijah has decided, in no uncertain terms, that his name is now Sidge. This stems from Isaac calling him Sidge-uh when they were little. JB and I started saying Sidge and now, we think, it has permanently stuck. He tells everyone that his name. I think I may start typing it now as well. And you'll see it referred to in some of these funnies so I can stay true to the actual conversation.

*****

Me: "Time to brush your teeth, Sidge."
Elijah: "Yeah. My teeth are dirty."
Me: "What makes teeth dirty?"
Elijah: "Dirtiness."

*****

I told the boys that if they actually slept during naps they would get a surprise when they woke up. Isaac fell asleep. Elijah didn't. When Elijah woke up, he said, "Do I get my surprise now?"
Wendi: "No, you didn't go to sleep."
Elijah: "But I stayed in my bed."
Wendi: "Right. So you did a pretty good job. You rested but you didn't sleep."
Elijah: "So I did a little good job?"
Wendi: "Yes, you did a little good job."
Elijah: "But I didn't do so many good jobs?"

*****

JB: "Yes sir'ee Bob."
Elijah: "I'm not Bob."

*****

While cooking, JB asked Elijah what a cauliflower was. "Do you know what this is?"
Elijah: "Yes."
JB:"What is it?"
Elijah: "You know what it is."
*****

While I was cutting up Elijah's waffles with a fork and a knife:
Elijah: "Why are you doing that Mommy?"
Me: "What?"
Elijah: "Daddy doesn't do that."
Me: "Doesn't do what?"
Elijah: "Daddy only uses one hand."
Me: "Huh?"
Elijah: "Daddy doesn't use a fork to cut."
Me: "Oh, yeah. Well. See. Daddy is a chef. I'm not."
Elijah: "Oh."

*****

We rented Fireman Sam from the library. It is a newer version, and the claymation is more advanced, so the characters' mouths move. A few days later, we watched a Fireman Sam on our European TV. It was an older one where their mouths didn't move. Elijah said, "Mommy, I don't like this. I want them to talk." I told him they are talking. He replied, "No, I mean, I want them to really talk."

*****

Sitting next to me on the couch, Elijah started telling me a story. But I had no idea what he was saying. I asked him to repeat it. He did. After a third try, I finally gave up and said, "Sidge, I have no idea what you are saying." He nodded and said, "Yeah, I don't either."

*****

Elijah was squatting down, pointing to each of his toes when I heard him say, "big toe, big toe, big toe, big toe ... super big toe."

*****

I heard Elijah bump his head in the other room and start to cry. He began to make his way down the hall to where I was sitting with Abigail. On the way, he spotted one of Abigail's dropped cookies on the floor. I watched as he stopped crying, picked it up, ate it, then started crying again and came into the room saying, "I bumped my head, Mommy."

*****

And one from Isaac:

The boys were singing a song the other day that went like this, "Burp, Nose, Head ... Burp, Nose, Head ... Burp, Nose, Head ..." and repeat again. When I told them we aren't supposed to call names, Isaac informed me that they weren't calling anyone a name. "We're just singing a song we made up," he explained.