Happy

Woah. So happy. Home. All together. Big hugs. Kisses. Snuggles. Happiness. Not surprised by the fact that things are c-r-a-z-y. Boxes and suitcases everywhere. Visitors galore. One hyper, happy dog. Spilled juice. Dropped snacks. Fought over toys. Potty time times two. Fascination with Baby Abigail. Help starting and stopping her swing. (She didn't appreciate it.) Puppy kisses. Meals from friends. Midnight feedings. A trip to the pool. Tired. Happy. Ecstatic. Overwhelmed. Excited. Scared. In love. Exhausted.

I think the paragraph above pretty accurately sums up our life as of current. We have come up with a pretty good "schedule" for the time being. I get up with Abigail. JB gets up with boys. When JB leaves for work, he lets the boys get Veronica up. Veronica is "on the clock" until they go down for naps plus one evening a week (for anything we might need -- a date, shopping, etc.) This will basically equal 40 hours per week. It is important that she works a regular job for us and that she isn't being overworked. She needs time for friends, babysitting other kids (to make money), and herself. Having her is a Godsend as Abigail eats a lot of the day and the boys still need a lot of little things. Snacks. Potty trips. Lost cars. Fights. Inside. Outside. Upstairs. Downstairs. She is able to help me with the boys' needs while Abigail is eating and help with Abigail when I apart from her and can help with the boys.

Right now, our little lass is doing a great job, especially at night. She eats at about 8pm and then goes to sleep for a good 5-6 hours. We do an early morning feed (3-4am) before returning to bed. The long nights are wonderful, but it does mean she is eating, nearly non-stop during the day. I strive for 2.5-3 hours between feedings. (This means that if a feed starts at 6am and lasts until 6:45, the next feed would start no earlier than 8:30, or 1:45 after she finished.) We are barely making this. She is actually going a lot closer to every 2 hours right now which means I only have about one hour before we are down eating again. However her weight is doing good, and I am not about to see that decline so when we need to eat, we do. My biggest goal is longer stetches at night, and she is definitely giving us that.

Scrubs took to Abigail just like he did the boys. Lots of sniffing but welcoming her immediately. The boys seem fine with her. They climb up by me and kiss her head often. I worried that my lack of time with the boys would bother me (or them). But I realized that I am probably spending more time with them than I did before Abigail because I am sitting down. I can't get up and move. So the boys can bring their cars and drive them on me and we can crash them and we can talk and do puzzles or read books while I am feeding Abigail. They actually have my undivided attention because I can't get up and do dishes or wash counters. We can watch a movie and snuggle and just be together. It's nice.

I do feel incredibly overwhelmed as I knew I would. I knew that once I got home, my real life would begin and my uninterrupted time with little lady would be eliminated. But that's okay. It's what I want. Yes, I think three children three and under is absolutely insane. Crazy. Scary. Hard. But I love it. I love my family and wouldn't want it any other way.

Add to all this the fact that JB is the head physician in the hospital right now, and we are both on fumes. The acting hospital head is usually a Colonel above JB, but higher ranking possibilities are out of town so JB it is. This means that "the buck stops with him." Our phone is ringing a lot. The other night, he took a call in the middle of the night. He told me in the morning that he had to go downstairs and call the person back afterwards because he took the call the first time still half asleep. Poor guy! He is hung on all day and then comes home to be hung on some more.

The good news is ... we have done this before. Not the three kids part, but the oh my gosh this is really a lot of responsibility and can we handle this and is this possible and will we ever not be playing catch up or go on a date again for the rest of our lives? And we realize that this is just a season and that this season will fade into the next and we will soon find a new normal and be okay. So we cling to that and keep in mind that it won't always feel like the utter chaos we are currently swirling in.

Keep praying for our family. And don't be surprised if my blogs are a little scant here. I am typing this one while feeding the baby girl at 4:30 in the morning. Time is at a premium, and I am constantly determined to remember that this time with my tiny tykes will not last long. I plan to enjoy every minute of it.