Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Question from a friend

Wondering if any of my readers might have some good suggestions for an old friend of mine. (This question is motherhood-related.)

I could also use some help with this myself. The first time I added an additional child to our familly, Isaac was only 8 months old. There was no need to emotionally prepare him for a younger sibling as he was still a baby. But this time, my boys will be 2.5 and 3 years old when the new addition joins our family. This time, we probably do need to do a bit more "preparing" for our little one's arrival.

Here is the question:

Do you know of any good books with the focus on helping a young child adjust to having a younger sibling? When I had my second, I tried to find such a book, but it seemed everything was geared towards larger spacing between kids. My first and second are 22 months apart. I have a friend who’s having her second child and she’s looking for something to help her oldest adjust. Did you find anything to help you? What’s the spacing between your two boys? Thanks.



Momma, PhD said...

Try "A Pocket Full of Kisses" (it's the follow up to "The Kissing Hand"). It's about Chester the raccoon who is unhappy with getting a younger brother and his mom reassuring him that she has enough love to go around.

Anonymous said...

"God Gave Us Two" by Lisa T. Bergren and Laura J. Bryant

"The New Baby" by Mercer Mayer

"The Berenstain Bears' New Baby"

The "God Gave Us..." books are so cute and it's a shorter read than any Berenstain Bears books. Mercer Mayer's books are short reads too and you can typically get through them without your boys losing interest.


Jenny said...

I used this book, and really liked it. http://www.amazon.com/Big-Sister-BIG-SISTER-Hardcover/dp/B002VJUDB4/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1302623320&sr=8-10 They have one called "I'm a big Brother Now" as well.

Katie Capps said...

A friend of mine gave us "I'm a Big Brother" by Kristina Stephenson. Charlie really liked it and we would read it every night and talk about the babies in my belly. He and the twins are just shy of three years apart but it was great to talk with him about the babies and how they would be coming to live with us very soon.

The other thing we did, which was a huge hit, was get Charlie a few small gifts from his "brothers" they day they came home from the hospital. It was such a big day for the babies, but we also wanted to make it special for Charlie. They had a few special gifts for Charlie (a new spiderman t-shirt, some bubbles, a book and some jamas). He was soooo excited because they came from his "brothers!" He told them thank you and wanted to love on them. And even now he will tell you his brothers gave him these things when he uses them.

We have not dealt with any jealousy type stuff and Charlie is in love with the babies. He can't leave the house without telling them good-bye and giving lots of hugs/kisses :)

Jess said...

Bearnstein Bears has a "And Baby Makes Five" that has been good for our kids. Though...ours were pretty keen on the idea of another baby to begin with when we told them around 20 weeks.

That said, our kids are only 3 (our daughter is nearly 4) and baby has yet to ARRIVE....so we have yet to see how it worked...but I will say that they can tell you things babies do differently than they do (wet and poop in diapers, eat baby food, etc).

Lisa Cronk said...

Here is a link to a short article from the American Academy of Pediatrics website www.healthychildren.org regarding preparing sibs at different ages for a new addition to the family:


My best advice is to make sure that you make changes like moving rooms, potty training, etc. well in advance of the baby coming or after everything has settled down a few months after baby comes. That way the older child doesn't feel like the new baby displaced them or was the cause of some of the changes. Also make sure to plan some time to give some special attention to your older child. Be honest. Talk about what they can expect so everything doesn't come as a surprise. Try to keep your older child's routine as much the same as possible.

OK I'll stop rambling. Best wishes to each of you on your new little ones.
: ) Lisa

Wendi Kitsteiner said...

Facebook Responses:

Lisa Mae I didn't have any books (mine are 11 months apart) but I spoke often of being a good helper for Mommy and that the baby will need a good big sister. They are 9&10 now and we still speak to them about helping each other and serving each other for the good of the family. Wish I had an awesome title for you but that is the only "wisdom" I have to offer. My daughter has always been eager to help, very laid back in temperment, etc. so it was never a big issue.

Barbara Hill Wow, Wendy, who better to ask than your mother-in-law Mary.....

Beth Mann Hey Wendy - I did a lot with the Babywise book (Gary Ezzo) when my kids were little, and this blog http://www.babywisemom.com/search/label/siblings did a lot to help me work it out. She's just another mom, but her info is great! Hope it helps :)

Lisa Mae I didn't do babywise (simply b/c I had never heard of it) but Ryan & I really enjoyed Growing Kids God's Way and still use MANY of the things we learned there in our parenting today! :) Bet the blog is a good resource!

Deanna Long Wilson Prayer, and also what Lisa Mae said and I found a class at a local hospital that was for older siblings preparing to have a new baby in the home when the older 2 were 4 & 5 waiting for their baby sister to arrive. BUt I always rested in the fact that God knew who would be first, second, etc.

Adrienne Broyles Huisman We read kids' books to Charleigh about being a big sister, we inserted Charleigh's name and Baylee's name in the book. I also bought her presents "from Baylee" that she received at the hospital when visiting, which she then played with me. More ideas to come.

Adrienne Broyles Huisman Another idea I've heard is to have a cloth babydoll that you pretend to be the baby to show the kids how to relate to the baby. You don't tell them its your baby, but how to treat one. Like at snacktime, you bring the baby out and talk about how the baby ONLY gets a bottle, so she doesn't get goldfish. I've caught Charleigh trying to "share" her food with Baylee several times. I think you have enough on your plate, no need to add another child early. I am sure you and the boys will be great. Love you.