I kid you not . . .

As I had mentioned previously , I needed to reserve an entire post for my experiences at the Town Center Mall in Boca Raton.

Here lies this promised post.

First let me share a passage from one of my favorite books of all time: Marley and Me. I think this passage, will generally suffice for sharing what I witnessed at the Boca mall.

After writing farce material about the people of Boca for many years in his south Florida column, author John Grogan went over to the dark side . . .

Life is full of little ironies, and one of them was the fact, that after months of searching, we settled on a house in the one South Florida city I took the greatest glee in publicly ridiculing. That place was Boca Raton, which, translated from the Spanish, means literally “Mouth of the Rat.” And what a mouth it was.

Boca Raton was a wealthy Republican bastion largely populated with recent arrivals from New Jersey and New York. Most of the money in town was new money, and most of those who had it didn’t know how to enjoy it without making fools of themselves . . .

Fast forward to the inspiration for this post . . . dogs. More specifically, Marley, their huge golden Labrador vs. the dogs of Boca.

With his recently digested obedience certificate under his belt, Marley was fairly manageable on walks, but if he saw something he liked, he still wouldn’t hesitate to lunge for it, threat of strangulation be damned. When we took strolls around town, the high-rent pooches were always worth getting all choked up over. Each time he spotted one, he would break into a gallop, barreling up to it, dragging Jenny or me behind him at the end of the leash, the noose tightening around his throat, making him gasp and cough. Each time Marley would be roundly snubbed, not only be the Boca minidog but the Boca minidog’s owner, who would snatch up young Fifi or Suzie or Cheri as if rescuing her from the jaws of an alligator. Marley didn’t seem to mind. The next minidog to come into sight, he would do it all over again, undeterred by his previous jilting. As a guy who never very good at the rejection part of dating, I admired his perseverance.

Outside dining was a big part of the Boca experience, and many restaurants in town offered alfresco seating beneath palm trees whose trunks and fronds were studded with strings of tiny white lights. These were places to see and be seen, to sip caffe’ lattes and jabber into cell phones as your compassion stared vacantly at the sky. The Boca minidog was an important part of the alfresco ambience. Couples brought their dogs with them and hooked their leashes to the wrought-iron tables where the dog would contentedly curl up at their feet or sometimes even sit up at the table beside their maters, holding their heads high in an imperious manner as if miffed by the waiters’ inattentiveness.

This passage goes on (but I'll let you read the book to see for yourself) about an unfortunate experience with Marley and the wrought iron table. Needless to say, he didn't quite fit in with the mini-dog society.

. . . now onto our own experience in Boca on Saturday with AD and my Mom.

I don't remember having ever been to the Town Center mall. I am sure I hvae been, at some point. But I don't remember ever witnessing what I witnessed that day. As soon as we got to the door, I realized something was strange. Was that Paris Hilton, bag swung over her shoulder, pooch peeking his head out of her designer handbag? No. But from the way she was dressed you never would have been able to tell the difference had you not looked closely.

Five steps inside and here are two papillions on leashes sniffing each other next to the Men's Department. I kid you not.

Inside the main part of the mall, it got worse. I turned to AD. Are those people walking their dogs in strollers? Yep. You got it. is that a blanket in one of the strollers?! People everywhere with dogs in their purses. Dogs passing each other, barking, in their strollers.

I mean, I love my dog. I do. But this is ridiculous. Coral Springs doesn't let dogs in their public parks! And now they are in the mall?!

But it wasn't just the dogs that left me amazed. Picture designer jean shorts and platform shoes. Sunglasses and rhinestones. These people were DECKED OUT. Decked out for a trip to the mall!!!!! I felt underdressed in jeans and a black dress shirt.

If you want to read a complete description of the people of Boca, read Marley and Me. And believe EVERY SINGLE WORD!