Adoption hopes ...

Last night I dreamed that we adopted a little girl. She wasn't Chinese. I think she was Hispanic. And for some reason we were debating between her and Caucasian twins who seemed more than we could handle. She was seven and a half months old. I think her name was "Kylee" and I remember that we weren't crazy about the name, but she seemed to like it so were going to leave it. That was my dream.

What's odd is that the first time I have ever dreamed about having a child. Ever. I've often wondered why I never dream about children, but I just haven't. So last night was a bit strange to me.

Maybe it was because yesterday, we submitted our two required pieces of paperwork to America World. This included our financial statement and JB's employment letter. I totally gave the financial letter requirements over to JB. Figuring out your net worth is NOT easy. How do you estimate how much your TV is worth? Your dining room table? Pots and pans? Pillows? In the end, we went by what our renter's insurance is worth. As we figured it out, we had the net worth required to adopt through China. However, you never feel totally confident until you get the nod.

As I have explained before, China has really tightened their requirements for adoptive parents. They are a very popular country to adopt through, and they wanted to narrow their applicant pool and make sure their kids would go to the best families. I'm not sure that requiring a certain net worth , no facial deformities, a certain body fat percentage, (and the list goes on and on) does that, but nonetheless, those are the new rules.

JB and I would really like to be accepted into the Chinese program, and this paperwork we submitted will help determine that. Our reasons for going through China include the fact that it is a very proven country as far as adoptions are concerned. I like to say "it is a well oiled machine." Unfortunately, due to their one child rule, Chinese daughters are frequently abandoned. As a result, they have nearly all girls available for adoption. We are excited about this. For some reason, we both felt that having a female for our first adoption would be easier. We have no real reason that we feel this way we just think it would be.

We also think that there are a lot more "stories" about people adopting through Asian countries than through other countries. We feel that the first time we do this, we'd like to do through a country that is a little more proven in assimilation success. John and I are not giving up our dream of biological children, however, we also have plans to adopt many children! We'd like to adopt from different countries, however, we wanted to start with one that we could get support from other parents who had done it.

Some of you have asked me about the cost of adoption. If you ask me in person, I'll gladly discuss it with you. I think that people should be educated regarding adoption, especially because I want to encourage others to adopt as well. However, I feel I should refrain from discussing finances on our blog. So, if you really want to check into prices through America World, you can check them out on their website: PROGRAMS. You can find all the details on cost for various countries at this link. I will say that if I am still employed at Mayo when our child comes home we will receive a check for $10,000! In addition, the military provides $2,000 toward costs. And, currently, there is a $10,000 tax write-off in place for adoptive families. We will see if that is still in place at the next election. Either way, with all this, our adoption costs will be greatly diluted.

What is very strange to me right now is that, for the first time, we are actually starting to say, "When we have a child." We have spent so long completely protecting our hearts. We don't go into baby stores; we don't discuss names; we don't say: "When we have children..." But lately, we have been. In the car the other day, John asked me if I had thought about names. I looked up and just started at him. Names? Of course I hadn't. We never discussed names. In the beginning, we used to. But then, with every negative, and every friend taking the name you liked, you just stop doing it. It hurts even more. Now, possibly, I can think of a name?! I truly don't know where to begin.

So I guess I write all this to say that we are excited. I have gotten an abundance of mail and email during the last few weeks. (What a blessing!) Many of you have admitted to me that you are glad we are taking a little break from the infertility treatments. You are glad that we are moving forward with something that will, eventually, have a positive outcome. Please don't stop praying for our adopted and biological children. We are praying for both. However, for now, we are very excited, to have the opportunity to be parents. We know it's the right time.

I'm finally allowed to get my hopes up!