Our good friend Bara has decided to do a guest blog! I know a lot of you have met Bara, but for those of you who haven't, you can read about how we got to know Bara by clicking on Bara's previous guest blog -- where he introduced himself to everyone: JB & Wendi School
Anyways, here is Bara's current guest post.
My "atrocities" in the American English!!
By: Bara Z.
Hey Blog readers!
I thought I might tell you about something you as Americans didn't really think of! Me, John, Wendi have talked about it thoroughly! It's how foreigners speaking English as second language approach your language! It's not about how we learn it or speak it! It's more about practical points in our daily life!
Now, I 'm sure if I can talk on behalf on all of foreigners, so I will stick to my side!
Now, here is the first dilemma in my daily usage of English in the US: Expression! What ever floats your boat! Heads up! Lights on, no one is home! And so on! Wendi posted a blog about them earlier in January! AMERISPEAK
Guys! This is major challenge for me! And when I say major, I really mean it! It is challenge in two aspects: first of all, it's difficult to grasp the meaning of those expressions without help! Even worse, it might turn into embarrassing situation sometimes when my American acquaintance gives an important piece of info in the form of expression! Secondly: it's more challenging if you flip to the other side also! Knowing that unlike others, I don't use those expressions efficiently, I feel a huge defect in my conversational abilities. I feel frustrated when I try to explain an idea and find out that I could do it more easily if I use one of those expressions!
Another obstacle is the tone of speech! Now again, this is not about English language per se, it's about how you guys put it in!
I don't know the exact reason, but I assume that because you feel comfortable about your own language you Americans tend to speak up in loud voice! To clarify what I mean take the example of fast food restaurant Subway! When an American person orders his/her sandwich, he/she does so in loud voice, so much so that anyone could her them. Now I and "we" as foreigners don't feel confident speaking out loudly! I almost whisper! This usually makes things worse! As the subway employee is accustomed to high voice, this together with my funny accent makes it impossible for him/her to understand me!
Asking me to repeat what I just said only creates a vicious circle! Now I feel more embarrassed more shy to speak up and I end up lowering my voice as if I am talking to myself!
NOW, this is really humiliating!
Last thing I can thing of now, is the work "Excuse me"!! You guys use it as a sign of courtesy! To show respect! Whatever!
Now, I didn't know that! I thought you would only say excuse me if you want someone to clear your way so you can pass by!
Now, clearly I was wrong! You use it also to notify the standing person that you are walking by, right? Or to show a slight apology for interrupting someone's vision by walking in front of him/her (i.e. someone in the aisle picking a product and you happen to walk in front of that product!) right?
Now, I only knew this lately! I would get offended if someone walks by me and say "excuse me"!! What the heck is wrong with you! Why are you asking to clear your way! It's already wide enough to let you pass for God's sake! So, hope I didn't get you bored! Those were some of my English nuggets that I choke with! Didn't mean to complain about your language! It's just to let you know that some aspects you wouldn't know!
Bye!
5 comments:
This was great Bara! it made me laugh because one of my early frustrations in Indonesia was how (i thought).. "impolite" people were in giving me such little space to move past in a store or market, banging, bumping into you without a word,i'd stand in line and they'd just get in front of me; ...just like in traffic :)No excuse me, or wave of the hand to say, thank you for letting me in... -the main law/ rule was who can get in front of someone first-, or they would stop to talk in front of you so you have to go around in a store--I'd think -how impolite! :)
I could stand at a post office all day waiting and saying excuse me and people would look at me like what's with her -i learned to shove into the crowd and stick my hand in the window and see if the postmaster would wait on me next...I felt like an "ugly American" when I did and would get a stomach ache every time!...there was not waiting in line. And you certainly wouldn't say "excuse me" It's starting to be a value in some places now...I don't know why...
I got called into my son's kindergarten when we got home from our first 3 years in Indonesia and the teacher talked to me about how impolite he was, thinking only of himself just shoving in or going to the front of the line for the drinking fountain! Not even saying excuse me :)
I think Americans like their "space" and a certain sense of order in public space-so we feel a need to say "Excuse me" if we feel we are in someone else's space, so they don't get upset, or cuz we feel embarrased we had to enter it. ... With all the people crowded into such small space in the cities of Indonesia they don't mind being close, bumping, touching and being in "my" space! :) They sit closer and prefer contact with the person next to them. You should hear Ed tell the story of his feelings sitting on a bus in Indonesia with the man (stranger) next to him with his hand on his leg since they were chatting and that was just a sign of affection and feeling close as they talked. I'm sure Ed wished he could say Excuse me! in the tone that would mean -what the heck are you doing with your hand on my leg! :) Jan
Jan,
You really made me think of something. I work in the IT world where there are quite a few people that are from Indonesia. My girl friend at the office and I always talk about how one of the men, Yogi (sp?), is so rude. He never says "excuse me" or rudely walks in front of us in the line at the company cafe and then practically stepping on our toes he's so close. When walking past us in the hallway, he sees nothing wrong with literally pushing past us even if it means bumping us. We laugh about it now that it's gone on so long, but still sometimes it's frustrating. So thank you for helping me understand where he might be coming from in his culture. I am wondering now if maybe someone in our HR department should speak with him about American culture and etiquette so he doesn't continue offending people?
Andi
Hi Bara, I enjoyed your words. I will be more careful how I speak when non-Americans are around me. I think you've shown what is most important is how someone acts.If you are smiling and kind to people they will know you mean well- even if there is a language difference. Example, how you and John and Wendi became such good friends! I look forward to meeting you! Please guest blog again:) Mary (John's mom)
That is so interesting!!
I think that would be great! I'd love to be an HR consultant re: cultures! :)
I really wanted to know what I did in Indonesia that would seem rude so I could not offend people -so i think he'd want to know!! -even if they read him Bara's blog and mine! :)Not everyone is trained to be culturally aware when they go to a new country...
For example not sitting on a chair with my feet up, curled under me (showing I felt relaxed, comfortable with a friend in my own culture, but very rude in Indonesia), was important for me to learn -always feet down on the floor -- and for SURE not sitting with my feet up on my own coffee table in front of anyone!! Not standing with my arms crossed in front of me (sign of anger)...If a guest came to the door, not to say sorry we are heading out to such and such a place...better to invite them in, serve tea and be late for the next place, unless i knew them really, really well...I had to really learn in Indonesia not to speak so straightforwardly (and in my opinion "honestly") about stuff -but to skirt things so as not to hurt feelings. When I got home after many years, there a couple people, close to me, thought I was lying and couldn't handle that i didn't deal in "truth"...I had become uncomfortable speaking so straight forwardly....
Hi Bara! I really enjoyed reading your guest blog entry. Your insights are so interesting! We are so excited that you are coming to Rochester for John's graduation!
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