This was me. I had been with my husband for two dozen years and suddenly I had anger coming out of me -- toward my husband and toward my children. I had NEVER been an angry person. Where in the world was it coming from? I honestly was blaming him and probably would have continued to do so -- until the Lord knocked my legs out from under me. I was also living with daily and debilitating migraines that no doctor or medication had been able to touch.
I had had friends try to point out some of the behaviors they were witnessing, but I could NOT see these behaviors as a problem. Do all the things and keep everyone happy and be super nice to everyone and never say 'no.' Why were those bad things?
It is so hard to see your own dysfunction because the behaviors seem SO normal to you. When someone doesn't hear your well-meaning words, remind yourself that God is bigger. God got a hold of me despite me not listening to the people who tried to help, and I am healing in AMAZING ways! I couldn't hear it from my friends or even my husband but that didn't stop God!
Today I rarely feel anger toward the people I love. And the migraines I lived with for nearly all of my adulthood are COMPLETELY gone! (Like, seriously, I NEVER get headaches anymore. Kind of crazy.)
You MUST heal if you want to really live. I'm still healing, and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I can't imagine ever returning to that Wendi we saw peeking her head out in 2022. Never again.
P.S. And part of my journey includes KNOWING that the Lord is calling me to share truth with people and that they won't like it. That is TERRIFYING for a people-pleaser so God and I are still working on that one. It'll take some time.
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