Broken heart & Sin

Sin in this world is so ...

Sinful.

The truth is: I don't see this SIN that much. I see "basic" sin. Of course, Jesus doesn't categorize it that way. 

But I am a human. And I do.

People harming children makes me want to SCREAM. How can Jesus watch this? How can he know it happens? How can we not lose our minds over this?

And yet, it isn't that simple. I know that. Even if you want to help, you cannot always, actually help. Because trauma that has been inflicted on a child is BIG. And the consequences and ramifications of that sin is BIG and you have your own family that can be affected by the trauma inflicted on that child. 

We have had a young girl in our lives who was harmed by sin. By adults that should know better. We've tried to help. Maybe we have. But maybe we haven't. Watching that sin and what it does just tears me to SHREDS. How do my children get to be born into a home where they have loving parents and no trauma .... and someone else, seemingly because of bad luck, is born into a home where abuse occurs?

And because of that abuse, the trauma spreads. And it eeeeks out of them. And more sin occurs? Through seemingly no fault of that child.

How does a mother with ELEVEN children that are "in the system" keep getting pregnant and having MORE children when she cannot take care of the children she has? How does this keep happening and we must simply foot the bill for this? And even worse, there aren't enough homes to care for these children AS IT IS. 

I am angry. I hate sin. I just hate it. My heart has broken this past week.

Ballet competition pieces

Trio

Genevieve

Hannah

Abigail

Duet (Abigail)

Kari

Ana & Anna duet 

Ana & Elijah

2022-2023 comes to a close

Yesterday, Aunt Hannah finished off the “Quad Squad” school year! Third grade is done for Hannah and BFF Genevieve. Fifth grade done for Abigail. Eoin completed 4th. And Theo just upped the ante!

Hannah Joy Pomegranate

Lately I wonder: how do parents not love their children? How can they do such a bad job. Some are owned by addiction. I understand that. But our family had a Mama just walk right out the door and not look back. She’ll tell you she “cared” but no Mama, no real Mama, can choose themselves over their child. 

And it makes me so angry. Because all the love in the world can’t replace the loss those children feel from their biological mother choosing other things over them.

All I know to do is serve those orphans. Stand alongside them. It feels useless sometimes. It’s just one child. But one is something. 

Find an orphan or a widow in your life.

And love them. 

Some snaps from NM Trip

MeowWoof (Santa Fe)

We went with Lee’s parenrs: Rush & Barbie to see a really cool art museum today: 

https://meowwolf.com/visit/santa-fe

Logan’s Graduation

What an honor to have one of eight seats at my goddaughter’s graduation. It was held at a beautiful Catholic cathedral in Santa Fe, New Mexico. 

Here’s a link to the church: Basilica San Francesco in Assisi. 

Basilica San Francesco in Assisi. 

Visiting Kristi

Early on Thursday morning, we left for New Mexico. My goddaughter, Logan, daughter of my college roommate Kristi, is graduating from high school and here we are. 

I can’t wait to show you more pictures. New Mexico is beautiful!

Adventures of Elijah

It's Elijah! My Mom wanted me to write what happened today when I went squirrel hunting. Even though I didn't get any squirrels, I found some pretty weird and cool stuff. But even before I went out, I went to move the sheep and walked by the pond. A baby red-winged blackbird saw me and jumped from his nest and fell into the water. He then swam back to his nest and climbed in. 

A few hours later I went hunting and saw another baby red-winged blackbird in the field, and then, once I reached the woods, I saw my first of about seven lizards. I also saw a snake and a herd of deer. (I saw 3-4 deer. But there is a good chance there was more.) Way late into the hunt I saw what I think was bear scat and maybe a log busted apart by the bear. After that I found the biggest three-point antler I have ever seen (pictured below.) In the photo, I compared it to two other antlers I have.

 

On the way around our big pond I saw a green heron upside down in a tree. At first I thought that it was getting attacked by a pair of red-winged blackbirds defending their nest from him, but he was just laying there so I tried to get him down to maybe show him to my family. While attempting this, I saw that there was a snake wrapped around him. I quickly hit the tree causing both of them to fall down. Upon hitting the ground, the snake let go and climbed back into his tree, and the heron took off. Finally I was saw a couple foot wide ant hill (pretty large for here).

Piano recital

Corn growth

There was a farmer who grew excellent quality corn. Every year he won the award for the best grown corn. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors. “How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?” the reporter asked.

“Why sir,” said the farmer, “Didn’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn.”

So is with our lives... Those who want to live meaningfully and well must help enrich the lives of others, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.

Author Unknown

Happy Mother’s Day

I took this picture a few days ago of our beautiful roses in full bloom! 

And here is a video from Morher’s Day today:

Happy Day

So much truth

I ABSOLUTELY KNOW I will miss this season IMMENSELY. My kids still need me. But they need me SO much. My day is simply getting them to and from things. 

And before anyone suggests: cut down the activities. It really isn't that simple. We've been very intentional about the things they are doing. Sidge is only doing karate for his PE credit for example. 

But Isaac has truly made the decision that his future will involve the arts: music/theatre etc. This being the case, we've decided to really lighten up his school load each of the next four years and have him spend a significant amount of time each day working on his music. This will include theatre, guitar, piano, and voice lessons. We think that this is incredibly important for his future. Whatever he decides to do, we have no doubt it will include this natural musical talent God gave him. 

As for the girls: it is really just ballet. And ballet is a lot. I hold no preconceived notions about my daughters being ballet stars. Nor would I actually want them to be ballet stars if that possibility were there. But this is giving them a solid growth both in the Lord, their bodies, positive image, and movement. 

As a family: Heritage Home Scholars and Central Ballet Theatre are our two "things." They are our ministry. We plan to pour into these two things, in addition to our church of course. 

We also have been called into fostering more and more. Not fostering ourselves. But standing alongside families as they foster and adopt and help children who are hurting. God has also made that VERY clear. We have many families in our lives who need our support, and God has asked us to support them. 

But I'm ... tired.

GLAWPIGT

Our big idiot

John Kenney’s roses

Flat tire

Aunts with my Grama

My Aunt Jan went to Chicago and got to see my only living grandparent yesterday. Here she is with Grama. 

And here is Connie with Grama. (Grama LOVES! Food!)