Scrubs Memorial Day

We are coming up on April 1. Hard to believe but nearly one year since we said good bye to our Scrubs.

Sidge took his loss the hardest. Well, next to me that is. He's our most tender hearted but also our biggest animal lover. He cries and talks of Scrubs often.

I learned a lot about death and grieving by losing Scrubs and walking Sidge through it. I didn't want to talk about Scrubs. But Sidge needed to.

And maybe I needed to also.

Last week Sidge asked me, all on his own, if we could have a memorial for Scrubs. He asked if he could plan it.

Because my in-laws will be out of town and JB is working on April 1, we decided to have it today. Sidge has planned to sit and watch videos of Scrubs, and eat cake shaped like a bone, and put spots on balloons, and eat chocolate chip cookies.

Last night I went through old videos and blog posts of Scrubs and sobbed. Just cried and cried and cried. It has been awhile since I cried hard like that.

I'm very torn. I know this memorial day is a good thing. Sidge especially needs it, and all the kids are looking forward to it.

Remembering him is so wonderful but also so hard all wrapped into one.

I love you Scrubs. It's been a year, and I feel I miss you just as much as I did a year ago. And not only do I miss you, but I feel I'm getting farther away from memories with you. I keep saying you were just a dog, but you honestly were a member of our family. You were one of my kids. I've had you longer than I have had them. 

Why couldn't you have stayed around a little longer?

You were ... the Best dog ever.

Love you boy.

This memorial day is for you.

And maybe for us too.