What do you see?

Picture 1

Pictures.

When I was growing up they were a special thing. They cost a lot of money. You didn't get to pick your best shot. You had to wait for film to be developed. You had to show your friends your photos in a little physical album -- you couldn't text it or email it or post it to Facebook.

But today? That has all changed. Today we can take dozens and dozens of photos. Then we choose the one we will show with the world. We can change the colors and lighting and blur out pieces that we don't like. We can whiten our teeth and have a perfect tan.

Now, if I am being honest, the picture above didn't go through any editing. But it was one of three Joan snapped of me during that fleeting moment.

Here were the other two completely raw pictures:

Picture 2

Picture 3

Isn't it funny how a picture can look like you but not actually feel like you?

I look at picture 1, and I see peace. I see tranquility. I see being totally relaxed on vacation.

And yet, while I was trying to do that, only a few people knew how much I was struggling. 

In fact, it's picture 3 that I feel like really shows what Wendi was feeling that day. Wendi has been struggling. I've been battling some anxiety that likes to rear up its ugly head every now and then. I'm on vacation. I'm trying to relax. And yet I just cannot let it all go. I'm really, really trying.

Picture 1, the one that I now have as my Facebook profile picture, tells the world something. But it isn't a true story.

It's why I strive, always, to keep it real. To tell the TRUE story. The TRUE story is that Wendi is in a little bit of a pit. It's not a deep one. (I've been in those and hope to never go back again.) But it's a little bit of a hole, and I want to climb out of it, and I am really trying. I am posting photos and blogging and being present in moments, but sometimes, my heart isn't in it the way I wish it was. Sometimes I am watching like a spectator, not completely participating.

And so, if you are seeing pictures that other people are posting and thinking, "How do they have it all together?" . . .

And so, if you are posting pictures yourself and able to see the pain behind by your smile . . . 

You are not alone. You are NOT the only one battling adrenaline and anxiety and depression. We are here. With you. We are posting photos and sharing our lives, but often, the photos aren't showing what we are feeling. 

Reach out. If you are struggling today, know that there is a very tall blonde girl who may seem to have it altogether struggling a bit as she goes to sleep tonight.

THIS is what anxiety looks like. 
THIS is real.
THIS is doing life together.

DECEPTIVE ILLUSIONS. PRETENCE & NONSENSE.

A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~ 

sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!

“I despise these deceptive illusions, all this pretense and nonsense…” - David  

I read this quote in one of my favorite books and it seems fitting for today.

Deception, Illusions, Pretense, and Nonsense. Let’s talk about these words—because they all, in one way or another, seem to be rampant in our society today and identifying them is important. 

Deception defined is the act of causing someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid. Can you think of a time in your life when you were deceived? Do you remember how you felt? This happened to me a few years ago, and honestly—it was terrible. I felt dumb for not realizing it. I felt taken advantage of. And I felt confused by how someone could do that. My naivety, in some ways, felt like it had been stripped from me in that instance. Here is the thing about deception though: most of the time, you don’t know that you are deceived. Ugh, the worst! And that situation, a few years ago, was really eye-opening for me because out of my entire friend group, I was the last one to catch on. They all caught on, one by one. Then eventually, when what felt like a spell or a curse had been lifted, I was shocked and a bit annoyed at myself for not seeing. This is why tribe matters, because good friends and healthy relationships help you to avoid these instances more often than not. Tribe will look after you in these moments. The other thing about deception is that it likes to stay hidden and keep you confused. So if you feel confused or in a daze about something or someone—speak up. Tell a good, truth-speaking friend, because it just may be a cloak of deception trying to trick you.  

Illusion is a misleading image presented to the vision; something that deceives or misleads intellectually; perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation of its actual nature. What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word illusion? I think of a clown or a magic trick. Did you think of something else? (If so, please leave us a comment below.) Back to illusions. Upon further thought and ruminating over the definition, I began to think of Instagram. I say this often, but I thoroughly enjoy social media. Especially Instagram. It is my favorite social platform. Pictures are my thing—both posting them and looking at others. But all of us can very easily become illusionists on social media. Maybe unintentionally. Maybe intentionally. Either way, to put yourself out there through words or picture based on how you want to be perceived rather than by who you truly are is an illusion. So I would encourage you to take inventory of yourself. How are you giving yourself to those around you? To the world? And Is it an accurate depiction of you?

Pretense is an inadequate or insincere attempt to attain a certain condition or quality; a claim made or implied especially, one not supported by fact. Ever been affected by pretense? {Insert every hand going up} We all have. I think it's inevitable. As a human, this will happen to you and you have probably done it to another. We do this a lot with people we don’t understand or those who are different than us. We, a lot of times, can lead with pretense and that can be dangerous. It keeps our society divided. For example, to refuse generosity to a person in need (i.e. a homeless person, because you assume they will buy alcohol with it) is a terrible, yet common pretense. Pretense divides. Kindness unites. Choose to be unassuming with those you do not know. What you will find most often, is that people are delightful.

Nonsense is defined as words or language having no meaning or conveying no intelligible ideas; language, conduct, or an idea that is absurd or contrary to good sense. This one seems pretty self-explanatory. Don’t be cray-cray and if you know someone who is, just love them back to wholeness. Even if it puts you out, makes you uncomfortable, and/or the likes there of. 

I believe we actually have a shot to really make our corner of the planet beautiful. To leave it better than we found it. So let’s do that. Let’s be unassuming. Allow others in, show them the authentic you, and learn love yourself well—so you can love others well in return.

I would love to hear from you on how you have/are beautifying and unifying your corner of the world. 

Happy TribeLife.

Carrie