Friday Funnies

JB: "Sidge give me that tape measurer. Tape measurer are not toys."
Sidge: "No, but they sure are fun to play with."

*****

Abigail got five splinters in her foot that I was unable to remove. I sat her up on the counter in the bathroom and told her not to worry.
Me: "When Daddy gets home from work, he's going to get those splinters out of your foot."
Abigail: "We have the best Daddy ever."

*****

Sidge: "Did you know that at one point here were only 22 California Condors left?"
Me: "Wow! And then they got them back?"
Sidge: "Yeah. Do you know where I learned that from?"
Me: "Your Homer program?"
Sidge: "Yep."
Me: "You learn everything from them."
Sidge: "Not exactly."
(Mr. Literal!)

*****

In the bathtub, Abigail splashed a rag around and it flung at my face. I had water drops all over my glasses.
Me: "See what happens when you do that? I get water on my glasses."
Abigail: "Oh."
Me: "Do you see the water on my glasses?"
Abigail: "I don't see it actually. It may be camouflaged."

*****

While preparing to make a trip from the farm back to the house, we asked Sidge who he wanted to drive with -- Papa or Daddy. Sidge sat for a moment, crinkled his face and said, "Who has the best food?"

*****

In the van I discussed with the kids the Bible verse: "The last shall be first and the first shall be last."
Me: "Do you know what that means?
Sidge: "It means that the last shall be first and the first shall be last."

*****

While discussing kindness, I asked the boys for a way we could be kind to another kid that might not be as popular or might be getting picked on a lot.
Me: "What if saw another kid who was always getting picked on. He was the slowest kid and always losing. How could you help?"
Sidge: "We could be .... really ... s-l-o-w!"

*****

Here are a few of the funny things Abigail said to me this week. As her little vocabulary expands, the humor revs up!

• When referring to hot air balloons: Can we go see the hot air baboons?
• When talking about her teacher Ms. Hancock: My teacher's name is Ms. Handcuffs.
• When asking again if she can get ears pierced: I really want to get my ears peeled.
• While being kicked by Abigail: Hannah keeps kicking me. I just can't deal with it.
• While trying to ask me how many miles it is to her speech class: How many aisles is it to speech?
• When I told Abigail she asked a lot of questions: I know. Girls talk a lot.