Endurance. Perseverance. There some things you can't learn without suffering. They are gifts no one would ask for if they understood the cost beforehand. 

If you ever ask yourself, "why am I so bad at this?" when living through the dark days of depression, I want you to know: it's because it's THAT hard.

 I never wanted to be prideful or compare suffering with others, but that meant I didn't give myself enough credit for enduring what I did. 

I've read in several places that people who have experienced both serious physical pain and depression report that they'd take the physical pain over the depression. 

One hour of this is hard.  A day of it is torment. Waking up to it again is like waking up to find your nightmare is real. 

This is hard, hard stuff, Wendi.

If you're waking up to it today, fix in your mind from time to time on Jesus in the garden, in mental anguish to the point of sweating blood. He KNOWS. And he endured. (Because he loves us!) And if you're waking up to the nightmare, your job today is hold his hand, suffer alongside him and in his footprints, and ask him to help you endure this day.

He triumphed and someday so will you, even though you can't feel it now.