Today, I have not felt so hot.
And it has rained the entire day.
JB started a fire for me in the fireplace, as we have no heat in the house, and I couldn't manage to keep it going. It went out. I had to start it again.
[To which Isaac always says, "Are you going to start a little fire, Mommy? Only Daddy can make the big fires."]
So true.
In addition, I had nothing on my calendar today. Connie had an organizing job. Carla, who I often get together with, was penned up inside her own house in the rain, neither of us wanting to brave the fierce winds to try to meet up.
And yet, despite the rain and the nausea, the Lord was so present in my home today. I have struggled to feel Him in recent days. I've been praying. Asking Him to reveal himself.
And today He did. Not on a day that was full of sunshine or warmth or friends or family as I might have thought. But on a day that you would think would fill me with gray clouds.
I could feel Him.
My housekeeper, Hita, works on Mondays and Fridays at my friend Kristy's house. Kristy is in the states having her baby. Hita, when she finishes working, came over to my house again today. Just to sit in my living room and wait for her son to pick her up.
She speaks very little English. My Portuguese is poor. And yet she wanted to be in my home. She came her by choice just to be with our family. Even though I am sick and in my pajamas and the kids are far from peaceful, she joined us.
With her arrival I felt the Lord whisper, "She can feel me too."
Thank you Lord for revealing yourself to me when I needed you most. Today. Thank you for whispering in my ear that you are with me on this island, in the Atlantic, in my under-the-weather state.
Thank you for a 10 week appointment yesterday at which we were able to hear baby's heartbeat.
You ... are ... here.
And He is with you too. Even if you don't feel him at this moment, HANG ON. He will make himself felt.
Of that I am proof.
5 comments:
Beautiful!
Beautifully written Wendi and so heartfelt. How lovely that your home is such a place where others feel comfortable. I am grateful that the Lord gave you a precious gift today! And how exciting about the baby!
Melinda Bargery
By now, you're probably having dinner and this day is almost over!
It's been rainy/dreary here, too but picturing you and the kids in the living room in front of your "little" fire makes me smile; especially knowing you don't feel well and barely being able to function is all you could muster! Good job:)
So glad you had some company for a while, she's a sweetie! And I have a feeling she's thankful for you, too!
Have a peaceful night,
lots of love,
mom k
Thanks for this. I too am sick with mind numbing nausea and fatigue, only this is my second pregnancy. I often sit on the couch in pj's wrapped up in a blanket while my 3 year old watches tv or plays on our ipad. Normally I wouldn't let her do these things as much as she is right now but they are getting us through the days and that is all I can do at this point. I know this is a season that will pass and we can get things back on track again in time. Know you are not alone and don't feel guilty about not being 100% present or the perfect parent during this time.
To anonymous -- if we can encourage each other, please feel free to reach out to me via email: flakymn@hotmail.com. Thank you for your encouragement!
Wendi
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