Improvements

Improvements are coming so quickly. And each improvement is proof that I am mending and that someday, I will feel like myself again. That sounds silly to say, but when I was in the hospital, I started wondering if I would ever feel good again. I am sure many of you have been in this spot. I'd watch people on TV running and jumping and think, "How do they do that?" Even taking a lap around my floor in the hospital, I'd look at everyone else and think, "They look like they really feel good." I wanted that so badly and in moments of self-pity, would wonder if I would ever attain it.

But in the last few days, I am seeing improvements. JB reminds me that it will be two steps forward, one step backward, but that the steps forward are coming.

I can now get in and out of bed completely by myself. It's quite a comedy show, but it is still possible.

While I can't put on my own underwear (*blush*), I can get my sweats on with a good bit of balancing and toe usage.

I can now get in and out of a rocker while holding Elijah. If I am very sore, I set him on the foot stool and hold him there while I stand. But if I am feeling really up to it, I can get up with only one hand for balance.

I can now manage to get the milk out of the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. The first two days, I couldn't get low enough to get it out by myself. It's quite interesting when you are awake, the rest of the house isn't, and you decide to choose what you will eat based on what you can actually reach. But this morning, I chose what I wanted and did it all by myself.

I fed Scrubs yesterday. Okay so it did involve me sort of pouring his kibble into his bowl from a standing position and more of it getting on the floor than into the bowl. I also had to skip the hot water and pumpkin I sometimes add as well. But he really didn't seem to mind. He sat there, as he always does, waiting for the "okay" command that signifies he can eat. It was just like old times.

Sunday, I walked to the bay (about a quarter block). Jeff and Bobbie came by. Bobbie pushed Isaac. Jeff walked Scrubs. Mom K. stayed with Elijah. And I sat on their porch. Jeff had set up some chairs down by the water where the sun was shining, but I couldn't make it that far. But still. It was the first time I had truly been outside in nearly two weeks. It felt so good. JB said I probably pushed it a little. And I was a little more sore the next night from the extra steps, but man it was glorious to be outside, and totally worth it.

My bowels are still working great, and I am eating at each meal. My appetite is still pretty screwed up, and believe it or not, I really have no desire for sweets or anything that isn't bland, but I am eating and drinking plenty. The air in my stomach is slowly going down as is the swelling throughout my body. My back is feeling better, and the gas pains are much more infrequent.

Please continue to pray that each day brings new accomplishments and encouragement. Every new thing I can do brings me closer to thinking that someday I will actually be able to be home alone with my two boys and be their mom with no help at all. I know that's still a ways off, but each day I feel a bit closer to that goal.

This morning we are taking a field trip. It's time for Isaac's nine month check-up, Elijah's first well-baby appointment, and my post-delivery appointment. We are inundating Dr. G's morning calendar. I'll make sure to update with all of the details including how well Mom and I manage to get the two boys up and in to the hospital. :)