Wednesday Wee-Wind

I wrote this on Facebook in February of 2021 ... what happened was a conversation that changed my life. Brooks Gray suggested I buy a bigger washer and dryer. I did. It was truly one of the best decisions I ever made. Laundry got WAY better with the bigger machine. There's still a lot of it, but it IS better. 

Also, to this day my kids ALL still do their laundry. Even the Pomegranate (although she has trouble getting her clothes out of the washer so she has to sort of lay on the machine to do it.) But I don't care. It is SO helpful to have them doing their own. I strongly suggest it for all families. It eliminates a lot of sorting and loss as well.

Wendi’s Laundry Musings:

 

I estimate that only 47% of clothes that end up in our washer are truly dirty.

 

We have 8 people that use our washer. I decided to keep track of how many loads of laundry we do a week. We have a ten-year-old-tiny-washer. We did 32 loads last week. That’s 4.5 loads of laundry a day.

 

Now I’m not that good at math. And 47% is a completely made-up number. Let me make it 50% just to make the math easier.

 

If we could fix this problem, I’d have to do 16 loads of laundry a week. That’s 2.2 a day. That feels like a vacation.

 

Today I found five items of clothing in the girls dirty clothes hamper I have never seen them wear. One was a crocheted white sweater. How is THAT dirty?

 

We live on a farm. There is so much mud and dirt and things that have to be washed. Couldn’t we all agree that a crocheted white sweater could be spared?!

 

So in order to prevent this dumping of not-even-close-to-dirty-clothes from occurring, I must teach my children what is dirty or not.

 

I’ve done that. Vehemently. Often. Sometimes in a very loud voice. Sometimes patiently. But my temper is often battling up inside me.

 

And they keep putting clothes that aren’t in need of washing in the laundry.

 

Usually this happens when I ask them to clean their room. “Get everything off the floor” translates into “Put it all into the dirty clothes basket.”

 

New Plan.

 

I thought it would resonate deeper if they have to do their own laundry. So they do. The boys do their laundry. The girls do their laundry.

 

But they don’t care. So what if they have to wash double the clothes? That increase in workload doesn’t really translate. Kids are about immediate gratification. What matters is that their room is cleaned quickly . 

They can worry about the extra laundry and moan and groan about that later.

 

My only other option is to monitor what they put in the laundry basket. How would this be possible? 

 

There are like 97 people in this house and 1 of me. (I’m known to exaggerate slightly.) But honestly? I can’t be going upstairs every clothing change to determine whether they made a good choice ...

 

I’m an athlete. I’m a problem solver. I’m competitive. But I’d rather be on the free throw line with a shot to win the game then have to try and figure out how to stop clean clothes from ending up in the laundry 

basket.

 

In truth? I’ve decided. There is only way to solve these problems. Not have children. Or wait until they leave the house.

 

Little rugrats.

 

Good thing they are cute.

Tuesday Truth

Returning to the Real World

We are back home. What an amazingly wonderful and awesome vacation we had in Belize. It was just as awesome as Costa Rica was the year before. Or so my family tells me. In 2024, my body was in the throngs of an internal hell, and while I was present in Costa Rica and could know there was beauty around me, my body was absolutely unable to feel that beauty.

But I sat on the lawn chair and Belize and not only saw the beauty and knew the beauty, but I could feel the beauty. The things I have had to go through in the last year to get to this place have been, truly, the hardest things of my life. And yet, dear Jesus, how thankful I am that he removed the clay from eyes and allowed me to see the prison I was living in. 

It makes me wonder: why would anyone not want to remove the clay from their eyes? Why would anyone want to live in that prison? Don't they want freedom? And yet, I know, that I couldn't see my trauma until God said it was time for me to see it. He had to reveal himself to me at the time that he deemed most appropriate. 

Oh to live in heaven with Jesus away from the sin that swirls around us. Oh to be free from the bondage of this world. And yet, I am realizing, we have the ability to live much freer and in much less bondage on this earth than I ever thought was possible. 

There are so many things that I never, ever learned. I didn't learn about listening to my body. About allowing myself to rest. I didn't understand that boundaries were perfectly normal and acceptable and required. You can't just push your body. You can't live to please people. You, the whole essence of you is a wonderful, amazing, awesome creation! 

Don't you want to live to the fullest extent of you?

I know many people are afraid to look their past and their childhood and their sin in the face. But truly, not looking at it, means you are in bondage. You are in prison. You are not feeling all the things you should be feeling. The depression that followed the horrendous anxiety was my chance to grieve the thousands of things that I never allowed myself to grieve. I pushed it down. Pushed it away. Ignore it. Don't think. Don't cry. Don't grieve.

Our children need to be taught that ANGER is GOOD! Frustration. Grief. Sadness. Fear. All these emotions are actually good. Somehow, many of us got the message that anything other than perpetual positivity is bad. And that, my dear friends, is Bull Crap. Fear is healthy. Fear is telling you to pay attention to something. We need to know what to do with our fear and how to allow it to be a part of our life in a healthy way. 

I'm still learning. I will learn until the day I die. But for now, I am celebrating the woman I am becoming and how many people are joining me on this journey. I have mentioned before that there are ten other women in my Story Warriors group. And now, I am starting a second "virtual-only" group with women from all over the USA (and maybe other locations?). We are Story Warriors 2.0. We will learn to tell our story. To Look at who we really are. Because it is only through seeing our past that can we prevent ourselves from not reliving it. 

I know for some of you reading this, this sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. It sounds like a bunch of pseudo-science. It doesn't sound very Christian. And, oh, may I tell you that Jesus is more real and alive for me than ever before. 

I now see that Jesus made our brains to HEAL. He made it where our neural pathways could be rewired. He made it that trauma won't devour us. He brought counselors and amazing people along to study these behaviors and help us understand why we are acting the way we do. I do not have to pass on these behaviors to my children! I can show them a different way. 

It truly brings me such incredible joy. I still have some "hard-feelings" toward things I had to face in my past. But mostly, I am able to see those things as the pathway to me becoming who I am today. God had me go through this journey exactly when he said I should for a reason. He knew the other women who were going to be ready to embark on this with me. He knew that Cousin Cara would be perfectly ready to walk alongside me when she was. 

I am overjoyed and excite to see what the future holds!!

Going home tomorrow

More fun in Belize!

Tomorrow will be our last day in this beautiful slice of Earth. Here are a few pictures of the kids just having fun. With us are Janessa (6), Hosea (11), Lilly (14), Hannah (11), Abigail (13), Isaac (16), and Elijah (16). 

 

Belize Fishing Day

Sidge and JB went on a deep-sea fishing expedition on Wednesday. They had a blast! Here are some pictures from their outing, and that fish in the picture? We ate that! Our amazing chef Miguel cooked it for us, and it was delicious!

Tuesday Truth

Day 4: Belize!

6am on the pier in Belize watching the sunrise in a hammock. Thanking the Lord for what he did for me in 2024 and what he’s still doing in my life and in the lives of so many of my friends traversing similar valleys. My body shut down on me in 2024 in order to save my life. I couldn’t numb anxiety with medicine and busyness anymore. Now, in 2025, I am living an unmedicated and anxiety-free life. Still a lot to learn, but my husband and children are getting to experience a much more calm and stable presence in their lives. Thank you Jesus for your beauty and healing!

Day 3: Belize!

Today was our "big day" in Palencia, Belize. Meredith and Janessa (their six-year-old as of tomorrow), myself and Isaac, were only doing one big activity day. That included a waterfall, zipline, and tubing. Here are some pictures from our adventure today:

Lily (14) and Abigail (13) preparing for the tubing. This was a delightful time on the water with very mild rapids (unlike Costa Rica which was scary!)

This was our group preparing to head out to the river (which we did first).

 

Day 2: Belize!

Everyone woke up at their own pace today. It was a day for everyone to just hang out at the house. It rained on and off, but no one cared! 

Miguel cooked us three meals including amazing fish tacos for lunch and a bbq dinner in the evening. 

I love the way we have figured out to vacation. They make me incredibly happy. 

Here are some pictures of Day 2: