The Rainforest Vacation: Chapter 3

Yes! I am attempting to write a book and using my Blog to keep me accountable. To read the preceding chapters of this story, please click here.

Science project

Zoey andAbigail are in a General Science class at co-op and they have science projects due on Monday. (I have ever mentioned how much I despise science projects?) Don't get me wrong, I am super glad they have a teacher who wants to do this with them, but I am not that person. Anyways, the other night while at the Dunhams, Zoey recruited Hannah and me to participate in her project! Here are some photos of it. I am still not sure what we were doing.

https://youtube.com/shorts/CCpCObVWa24?si=LKIwNoUuy3k1O8f2

Hard stuff

On January 27, I received a Facebook message from Linda Norwood. I had been close with her when I taught in Kentucky. She wanted my prayers after a pancreatic cancer diagnosis. On February 20, she was gone. So hard! 

Mrs. Linda Kay Norwood, age 65, of Franklin, KY, passed away on Thursday, February 20, 2025 at the Hospice House of Southern KY in Bowling Green, KY.

Visitation will be held on Sunday, February 23, 2025 from 3:00 PM until 8:00 PM at Calvary Baptist Church, 804 Church Street, Franklin, KY 42134. Visitation will continue on Monday, February 24, from 9:00 AM until 1:00 PM at the church.  Funeral services will be held on Monday, February 24, 2025 at 1:00 PM at the church with interment to follow in Greenlawn Cemetery in Franklin, KY.

Linda was born on February 1, 1960 in Franklin, KY to the late Thomas W.” Billy” Johnson and the late Mary Evelyn Eaton Johnson Farmer. 

She is survived by her loving husband of 47 years, Phil Norwood; two sons, Scott Norwood (Stephanie) of Bowling Green, KY and Daniel Norwood (Leanna) of Bowling Green, KY; five grandchildren, Matthew Norwood, Courtney Norwood, Todd Norwood, Beau Norwood and Lilly Norwood; a brother, Michael W. Johnson of Louisville, KY; step-father, Ben Farmer of Franklin, KY; one niece, Amanda Johnson; one nephew, Tyler Jackson; and many, many cousins.

Linda was a member of Calvary Baptist Church.  She was a 1978 graduate of Franklin-Simpson High School.  She was a retired secretary of twenty-two years of the Simpson County Public School System.

In lieu of flowers, expressions of sympathy may be made to Hospice of Southern Kentucky, 5872 Scottsville Road, Bowling Green, KY 42104.  Envelopes will be provided at the church.

Arrangements have been entrusted to Gilbert Funeral Home & Crematory.  The website is w ww.gilbertfhonline.com.  The Facebook page is Gilbert Funeral Home & Crematory, Inc. The obituary phone line is 270-586-8844.

Friday Funny

Suffering is to be expected

I used to think that if I was suffering I was doing something wrong. That message is completely contrary to scripture. There will be suffering! There will be tribulations! My trials are God’s tools for your growth! 

Without the year of HELL I have gone through, I’d never understand suffering of this magnitude. I’d think depression was kind of dumb. Get out of bed! Just snap out of it! Don’t you trust God? If you did, you wouldn’t feel this. 

It’s all terribly broken theology and doesn’t walk hand-in-hand with the Jesus of the Bible who suffered and had to go off and get quiet and alone and set boundaries many many times to remain in his calling. 

Suffering sucks. 

But it isn’t going anywhere until the perfection of heaven. 

The Rainforest Vacation: Chapter 2

 

The Rain Forest Vacation: Chapter 1

Yes! I'm writing a book. Or at least I'm starting it on my Blog in order to give myself some peer pressure to finish it. The working title is The Rain Forest Vacation, but that's just for now. Lots will change I am sure, but I've decided to put it on my Blog in rough format in order to keep myself writing. You can click on the image to read the page clearly :) To easily and quickly locate all chapters of the book, please click here.

A Costa Rican Adventure

I have decided to get back to something I have always been passionate about. I have always wanted to write a book. Since I was little it has been a dream of mine. 

I regularly get one started and abandon it. Often. I have never seen one through to completion. 

So I have decided to attempt to post a story on my Blog. I am hopeful I can do at least a chapter a week. I'd love to do it even more regularly. 

I am not doing intensive editing so you may see errors. And I may go back and change names or descriptions. But I'm going to try and do this. 

I have been mulling a story over in my head for a few weeks now. It is set in the rain forest that we enjoyed our Costa Rican vacation in during 2024. 

So, without further ado, here it is ....

365 Days of Rest #71

"Boundaries come from believing in your time and your space enough to protect it." Ashley Brown

Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Do you deserve the right to say no? Why do we think we are not good enough for this? Or our own personal desire to sit on the sofa and eat ice cream isn't valuable. 

Boundaries mean "you take responsibility for saying, clearly, what you need. Love people enough to not force them to be mind readers. Own the things that bring you joy. Only then can yo ube of greatest value to the rest of the world." Building a Non-Anxious Life, page 158

Best-selling author Nedra Tawwab says, "The hardest thing about implementing boundaries is accepting that some people won't like, understand, or agree with yours. Once you grow beyond pleasing others, setting your standards becomes easier. Not being liked by everyone is a small consequence when you consider the overall reward of healthier relationships."  

Preach it! Please! How did it take my 47 years of my life to figure this out?!

The truth is, you can only have the amazing community I spoke about in yesterday's post, if we have purposeful and intentional boundaries! "This is where the paradox of both deep, loving relationships and strong relational boundaries flow from separate streams into a single unified river. Only when I know you I am, what I am about, what my needs are, what my values are, and how I like to be treated am I free to deeply engage in extraordinary connections and opportunities." Building a Non-Anxious Life, page 160

We can't fill up someone else's cup if our cup is empty! Folks, we MUST learn this!

Black holes, mush, the vortex & the meadow

The year 2024 was A BLACK HOLE. It was nothingness. It was when all the anxiety and depression that I'd pushed down and made go away with medication or sheer determination for 30 years came shooting out of me sideways. I fell, headfirst, into a very, very dark HOLE.

I picture life like this:

For those people who are not plagued by depression and anxiety, their life is a beautiful green meadow. Rows and rows of wildflowers and willow trees and just all the things that a beautiful meadow is in your dreams spread across the landscape of their life. The sky is blue. There are puffy clouds. Birds are chirping and the temperature is a perfect 72 degrees. Can you picture the meadow?

I'm not naive enough to think that their life always looks like that, of course. But for the most part, even when hard things happen, that meadow is always in sight. They might face incredible challenges, but because their body is living in the harmony God intended, they repeatedly return to the meadow.

Everyone is born in the meadow. But some people, whether it be because of genetics or life circumstances or trauma, wander (or are violently yanked!) away from the meadow. Some of these people lose sight of the meadow when they are a very young child as an unfair childhood knocks them down before they can even really enjoy the meadow. For others, the meadow gets progressively farther and farther from their view as they age and their trauma piles up around them. 

Once you get far enough away from the meadow, the landscape actually begins to get very marshy. And once you wade through that marsh for long enough, you can eventually reach a BLACK HOLE. 

In 2024, I fell into the HOLE. 

The HOLE isn't as bad as hell, but for those of us on Earth, it is about as bad as it can get. No one can understand how bad the HOLE feels unless you are lying at the bottom of it. It's so deep, you can't even see the light. You are devoured by depression and anxiety and can't even fathom that it is possible to not be in the HOLE forever. 

Nice people outside of the HOLE will try to offer bits of encouragement about "just trust God" or "pray a little harder" but when you are in the HOLE you have trouble even breathing. And breathing becomes your prayer.

I had to sit in HOLE. I had to lie on the floor of my bedroom begging God to save me from that HOLE, and if he wouldn't, then please let the HOLE swallow me because the blackness was way too black for me to stay in it for very long. I wanted to die. I dreamed of dying.

The year 2024 was gut-wrenching sobs. It was hanging on for dear life. It was being unable to care for my children. It was struggling to even get in the shower on any given day. I pleaded with God to end the misery. Why was He letting me be in this HOLE? Rescue me Jesus!

He did. 

While I was down there, he brought a few truth-tellers into my life. These are people who had previously been in the HOLE or people who just genuinely have a compassion and have learned how to help people in the HOLE. For me it was a Christian Counselor. It was a Cousin who had lived in the HOLE for longer than anyone should humanly be able to. These humans actually have special super powers that allow them to join you in the HOLE but not be affected by it. Since it is your HOLE and not their HOLE, they can lay on the floor next to you and rub your back and remind you of truth: 

Jesus loves you. You won't stay here. This is temporary. Hang on. It won't like this be forever. There is an end to this misery. The pain is unbearable. Hang on. I am here with you. I will remind you everyday of the truth that you can't see because you are so deep in the HOLE. 

I never, ever, ever want to face that HOLE again. 

And truly, I don't believe I will. Because I have laid on the bottom of that HOLE and looked up at the sky I know is there but cannot see, and I have looked my sadness directly in the face and learned where it came from and why it was there and with God holding me up and some amazing supporters cheering me on, I slowly began the long climb out of that pit of despair. 

I know the path now. So if I ever start slipping again, I believe the fall won't be quite as great. 

The climb took me about eight months. It's tough climbing out of a HOLE because you slip a lot. I'd be twelve or thirteen steps up the side of the HOLE and suddenly a storm would start brewing, and I'd slip. Sometimes I'd slip almost to where I had started from. I'd have to take a break and take a nap and talk to my truth-tellers and to Jesus and remind myself of the truth all over again before getting the energy to begin climbing again. Slipping was disheartening. Lies like this would begin to swirl:

You are a failure. You won't ever be able to get out of this HOLE for good. Can you imagine what people think of you right now? You aren't strong enough. You are too broken. You are no good. Give up now.

But with the truth-tellers and Jesus whispering in my ear, I'd find the courage to climb again. 

I've been out of the HOLE since July. Oh, to be up on the side of the HOLE! I have been doing so well in my journey that I actually get to visit the meadow quite often. I mostly live in the meadow now. It's so beautiful. It makes me think of heaven. How wonderful heaven will be. 

In between the HOLE and the meadow is marsh where I lived for most of my life. Some days, my feet kind of sink down into the marsh. I don't like the way that marsh feels. It is hard to believe that prior to my fall into the whole I lived in that marsh. How did I not understand how to get out of the marsh and go frolic in the meadow? But the marsh was all I knew. So I accepted it. It wasn't a meadow, but it wasn't a HOLE so it at least felt ... reasonable.

The marsh is the anxiety and worry that was part of everyday of my life for as long as I could remember. Many of you know what that feels like. It is all-encompassing. It is devouring. It is exhausting. 

The content of the marsh is different for everyone. Some of you, like me, have a marsh mixture that felt like this: 

They don't like you. You aren't good enough. You are a failure. See that look on her face? She is disappointed in you. He doesn't want to be your friend anymore. They will forget about you. They meant to leave you out. You will never change. People will always dislike you. You frustrate everyone. You are too loud. You are too big. You are too much. You are too dramatic. Tone it down. Be less. They will like you more if you act like you are supposed to. Be what they tell you to be. 

That is my marsh. My marsh always involves people. I am not pleasing them. I'm not good enough. Someone is going to get mad at me. Someone won't like me. Or someone won't like one of my children.

And the truth is, I had lived in that marsh for so long, I didn't even know it wasn't normal to live like that. I kinda thought everyone lived in marsh. 

Your marsh may surround health. I have three friends in this marsh. Their marsh feels like this: 

You are going to die. Feel that thing in your stomach? It's cancer. That numbness is a sign. You have MS. You are going to get ALS. You will die of Parkinson's. They are going to find a tumor on the ultrasound. Your headache is a brain tumor. You are going to die soon. You are going to be a burden to those you love. It's just a matter of time. 

Can you feel what that marsh feels like? How incredibly devouring and exhausting it is? Whether it is a fear of man or a fear of death or a fear of some other "something", the facts remain the same: you are in a prison. 

For me, however, when I fell in that HOLE, all I wanted was to climb out and live in the mush again. Just let me get back to that prison. At least it was a prison I knew. It felt so much better than the HOLE. 

The problem with the marsh is that you can feel comfortable in the marsh. You can decide to stay there. Because at least you aren't in the HOLE. 

There's one other location in this illustrated world that I want to mention. That location is the VoRtEx. Now the VoRtEx exists on the side of the HOLE. It's at the very top like sort of begins. You aren't even close to falling in the HOLE. You have your feet on solid ground. But the ground is still a little like marsh so sometimes it doesn't feel too solid.

It's in the VoRtEx that the old lies and the old way of thinking try to overtake you. Sometimes you are only there for a few minutes. Sometimes it is hours or days or even weeks. It's a place where the old familiar thoughts try to take over and you have to fight and pray hard to tell them that they are no longer in line with your new way of thinking. 

In my case, I have to basically get my mind to start saying something like this: 

You aren't who you were. The approval of man doesn't define you anymore. You've seen the beautiful grass. You aren't going to stay here. What he thinks of you is not truth. Your worth is in Christ. Jesus is your definition. The approval of man isn't what matters to you. 

Sometimes, if the VoRtEx is especially frustrating, I may have to call on my truth-tellers again to remind me of the truth. But each time I fall back into the VoRtEx it seems to be easier to find my way out. I am starting to recognize the patterns. 

I write this piece for any of you out there living in any combination of VoRtEx or marsh or BLACK HOLE. I hope you could see yourself in something I wrote and you can feel in my words that: 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

and

YOU WILL NOT STAY HERE!

This need a combination of things. You need truth-tellers. You need Jesus. You need prayer. You may need counseling and you may even need medication. Don't go through this alone. Reach out! 

The meadow is waiting for you.

365 Days of Rest #80

"A healthy community is a thick system of relationships. it is irregular, dynamic, organic, and personal ... People are up in one another's business, know each other's secrets, walk with each other in times of grief, and celebrate together in times of joy. . . . People help raise one another's kids. In these kinds of communities, which were typical in all human history until the last sixty years or so, people extended to neighbors the sorts of devotions that today we extend only to family. . . . The social pressure can be slightly overbearing, the intrusiveness sometimes hard to bear, but the discomfort is worth it because the care are benefits are so great." Brooks, The Second Mountain, 266-267

This is, so amazingly, the community I get here in East Tennessee. I don't have this in family, although some of my family happens to be wrapped up in this community. I have this in very intentional humans whom I have chosen to do life with and to help support each other. 

Everyone needs this. If you don't have it, strive for it. Work for it. Get it. Don't give up until you do.

Winter Retreat

The three older kiddos attended the Winter Retreat at Longview Ranch this past week. Here were a few pictures from their adventure:

I can recognize a few of these kiddos: Lily, Abigail, Zoey, Rachel Y, Melyna ...

Abigail's bestest friend (above) Ella

 

The girls catching Zoey! This was her first overnight!

 

Two of Abigail's closest friends: Lily and Ella

 

365 Days of Rest #79

 

Are there moments in your day for you to unwind? To think? To let spontaneous adventures happen? If not, why not? 

Don't make excuses for not caring for your own soul. Most of us humans who were born int he 1900's, were not taught how to just BE. We weren't taught to see, "I'm too tired to do that. I actually need rest instead."

Why not? We need to. I am purposefully working on this. I haven't been consciously doing my 365 days of rest as much lately, but I'm going to really try to bring it back!

"Want to know why your brain spins through hundreds of thoughts, especially focusing on the catastrophic, scary, and disorienting ones, just as you lay your head down on the pillow to go to sleep? Because that's the first sliver of space you've provide for it to do its most sacred activity: think." John Delony in "Building a Non-Anxious Life."

He goes on to write about how, while community is incredibly important, "We have become a society free and clear of all boundaries. With the creation of the internet, email, social media, and smart phones, no one knows where they stop or other people start anymore. And because we don't know, we find ourselves living other people's lives. Or the way we think they expect us to live."

• Do you say yes because you are afraid of saying no?
• Do you do holidays the way the in-laws want? 
• Do you take a job to make someone else proud? 
• Are you shamed into accepting invitations? 
• Do you make sure everyone else is taken care of before you ask yourself how you are doing? 

Regulation

My journey of healing is GOOD. It is NECESSARY. It is PROFOUND. The adjectives I can use to describe it are immense. I could go on and on discussing all the amazing feelings and emotions and growth I have been a part of due to this breakdown and subsequent re-build. 

As a result of the breakdown I suffered, I was forced to look very deep inside of myself at 46 years of things that I had refused to look at. The truth is, I think every single person in the world has things shoved down. Why did mine force its way out? Would I have chosen to look at these things if they hadn't forced themselves out? Why have other people I know chosen while I felt forced? 

I don't know. 

Mostly I believe that without being forced, I would have continued to put a bandaid on the anxiety and depression and intense fear of upsetting people that dominated my existence. I would have hobbled my way through the rest of the life, and unfortunately, my dysfunction would have oozed out all over my children sending them into adulthood to have to try to do the healing that I wouldn't do.

And so, on behalf of my children, I grind. I push on. I cry. A LOT! I have cried more in this last year than I had cried in all of my life combined I think. I spend time talking to my truth-tellers and processing the hurt inside of me. It is so painful. It is so frustrating. It is hard not to feel I have taken many steps backwards.  

This video at the top of this post resonates so deeply with me. This is truly what healing feels like. So much forward movement and yet, still, many days, you nearly feel like you are all the way at the beginning of it again. 

There is no blame in this journey. I was a product of a generation, an era, a people-group, a time in history. We all are. And I failed to learn some things that were terribly necessary. It is my job to NAME the PAIN and look it in the face and begin to heal. No one else can do it for me. I must do it myself. 

I learned so many things incorrectly. And it wasn't just learning that was the problem. It was wiring that was the problem. My brain, truly, was miswired. And if you can imagine miswiring a house and having to rewire, the brain is even more complicated. 

Thirty years ago, most people didn't even realize you could rewire the brain. If someone had a stroke, we'd send them home to live the rest of their life in their disabled state. However, with time and research, it has become very obvious that the brain is able to heal itself. The hippocampus is actually smaller in the brains of people who have suffered trauma. (And honestly, every single person in the world has suffered a trauma of some form or fashion.) But you can actually regrow the hippocampus!

I also have to continually remind myself that this journey requires grief. It requires grieving. And grief takes time. I created a fake narrative for myself to survive my life. And that narrative was: "If I can be the nicest person in the room, no one will ever get mad at me. I will never upset anyone."

Only, of course, that isn't true. People may choose to not like you for a myriad of reasons and you can't possibly prevent that. They may actually dislike you because you are too nice. Or they may get upset about something that actually isn't true. In addition, when you have children, they may choose to do things that cause your relationships to be affected. 

What I had constructed was a house of cards. It was not rooted in truth, and that house had fallen apart. I needed to relearn how to approach people, boundaries, parenting, and life in general. I am working diligently to do that. 

The study of this has become something I am passionate about as I am sure you can see from my Blog. I am so honored to be standing alongside TWENTY OTHER WOMEN who are making this journey as well. I have my STORY WARRIORS 1.0 group. And now there is a STORY WARRIORS 2.0 group. The first group was started with local women, and we are working our way through Adam Young's 12x12 workshop. This second group is not local. We are all over the world (literally!) and are working our way through his podcast and a retelling of the 12x12's.

What do these healing groups ... do ... exactly? Well, honestly, they start PAYING ATTENTION to our bodies. That's honestly the first part. We go back to the beginning of begin digging out the crap in our lives and looking at it. 

Do we want to do this? No way. But we recognize that without doing this, we will never live our lives in freedom. And we want to live in freedom. Not just for ourselves but for our CHILDREN. Truly, our children are the main reason people do this. We want to relearn the things we learned incorrectly and teach them to our children correctly. 

A huge thing I have learned about is DYSREGULATION. Dysregulation is that "thing" you kind of feel inside when you are upset. When you feel pushed to the edge. When you feel like you are going to scream at a child. When you are pretty sure that's road rage in your gut. That is dysregulation. We've all felt it. Did you ever know you were dysregulated? I didn't. I thought that if I fixed whatever I was mad at, I would feel better. That is not true. What I was mad at was not the reason for the dysregulation. My poor coping skills are the reason for that.

Most people don't even understand what that feeling is. But it's there. And it needs your attention. 

I had no idea that children learn how to regulate themselves from their parents. Their parents teach them how to do this. I didn't know that I was supposed to help my children learn this? I thought, if they are crying or angry or frustrated, I need to just get them to stop. But that isn't it at all. What I am actually trying to do is trying to help teach them how to calm themselves. 

I am the regulator for my children until they can learn to do this on their own. And even after they grow, they will need other people in their lives to come alongside then and help them regulate themselves. This is just so fascinating to me. 

It has given me such compassion and grace for my children. What I used to see as being a "softy", I know see as being a "regulator." When my Pomegranate is crying for what appears to be no reason at all, it is my job to help her find regulation! This may be done through hugs or compassion or words or time. This may be done through distraction or exercise. 

I truly think one of the reasons that this didn't "break lose" in me until I was an adult was that I had my athletics to do the regulating for me when I was younger. Exercise is a fantastic way to regulate yourself. Other helpful things include rest, breathing techniques, a conversation with a truth-teller, a hot bath, a good book, music, prayer, meditation, yoga ... you name it and it might be a regulating tool for someone. 

I continue to LEARN. I will be learning for my entire life and it is my hope that I can help other people learn as I do!

If you are interested in learning more, I encourage you to visit adamyoungcounseling.com. Start at the beginning and start working your way through! You will be amazed at what you start to discover about yourself, your family of origin, God, your children, your spouse, and the human race in general!

It really is fascinating. Exhausting, but fascinating!

We Bought a Farm: Off to Julia's

Sometimes nature just doesn't work out. JB was coming off of three nights so Sunday meant, get home at 7a and sleep until he wakes up. I was to take the kiddos to church. I headed out to tend to the chickens and sheep, asking Isaac to do the ducks. 

As soon as I got out to the sheep, I could sense something amiss. One Mama hung back by herself. That is never a good sign. (Or, it is a good sign! Baby?) And yes, that was the case. Twins in the field. One was up and nursing well. The other was not getting up. You could tell Mama wanted to be with the herd but didn't want to leave baby lying in the grass. But baby wasn't getting up. 

She was mighty cute and spotted but pretty little. I decided to grab some hay, make her a warm spot, and take off for church and see how she was after church. The good news was, after church she was standing. But the Mama was nowhere to be found. The weather was nasty. Cold and incredibly windy. She was already shaking so I knew chances of survival without food in her was low.  (You can feel a baby lamb's stomach and feel pretty confident about whether they are eating or not.) If the weather had been better, I might have tried to find Mama and do a test, but I just didn't have it in me, and it was obvious baby didn't either. 

So, I called my friend Julia. She takes our "abandoned" babies. This is her second this year. I was worried how little lass would do, but Julia said she has seemed to perk up quite a bit after a good meal and a nap. (Something we should all try when the day is going hard!)

Here is a picture of me with the cutie pie before Julia picked her up:

Getting out the door to church wasn't easy either. All this was taking up a lot of time. In addition, Sidge was having pants issues. He only has two "good" pairs of pants, and they had both gotten pretty dirty at the Winter Retreat they had attended with FCC on Friday evening. I had washed his jeans twice, and they were still muddy. I opted to give his cargo pants a quick wash and get those dry in time. 

So I ended up sending Isaac in one car with the girls. Sidge and I followed behind. (I did leave the sheep water running while I was gone. Not ideal, but well, you can't get everything perfect.) 

After church, Sidge took the boys car and hung out a bit in town until it was time for his meeting for his mission trip. He is going to Colombia this summer with some of the youth at his church! I drove home with the girls and Isaac. 

Now, we are getting ready for Monday co-op which is always a BIG day for us. Jam-packed and full are our Mondays. John has Monday off (although he does have to come up to town as he teaches a biology class fourth hour). However, on Tuesday, he teaches at Milligan College. (He is an adjunct professor there and teaches in their ER department for their medical students.) Then on Wednesday he's back in for a three-day run. 

John continues to love his job but it does take quite a toll on him. It is very busy and, of course, the losses are hard.

Friday Funnies

 

February of 2022, Erin Dunham helped transform the lady on the left to the woman on the right for a trip to the Green Briar. I waited until one week before to tell her where we were going for a weekend away, and when I said the words, "Green Briar," Erin's face got this ghastly look on it. She said, "Wendi, you have nothing to wear to that."

She was right. But, thankfully, the Internet exists and we did some fast acting work, and suddenly, I didn't look too shabby. A little better than my traditional farm wear. :)

What is my future?

 

This picture fills me with such ... emotion. These amazing little girls. To see the life in their eyes. The dreams of their future. 

And now, next year, I will no longer have a child in elementary school. Hannah will be in the sixth grade. The years of their lives just fly by. 

And I have often wondered ... what does God have for me?

I can't be sure of course. And if all he had for me was being John's wife and taking care of our home and farm, I would be perfectly okay with that. 

But I'm sensing that God may be taking me in another direction. 

This breakdown I had in 2024 has hit me in so many ways. My growth has been monumental. My learning. My life. My faith. My growth. He is doing such beautiful things in my life. And, the people around me are coming along for the journey. 

I have mentioned on the Blog before that ten other women have joined me for the 12x12 Conference with Adam Young. 

However, in the course of this, I have had so many other women reaching out to me, in need of the same community and healing. 

And so, this week, I started a second group! There are nine of us in this group, and unlike the previous one, we are completely virtual. Only one of the ladies is actually local. And one is as far away as Korea!

Numerous times one of the ladies has said to me, "Wendi, this is your calling."

I can't be sure. I don't know. But I think they may be right. I am looking into the Story Workshop Training at the Allender Center in Washington.

And I look at those little girls in the picture above, and I think, "I am doing this for you. And for your brothers. I am going to be the very best version of myself for YOU and for the children that may come after you. And for our community as a whole as well!"

I truly believe that everything I have faced in life to date, including living in various locations and our fertility journey and homeschooling and farming, has brought me to THIS PLACE where I want to help other women not live in the prisons they have found themselves in. 

And I am soooo excited.