My last six months in one sentence

Permit!!

Elijah has his permit and is driving! He actually got his permit a few months back but it was right before he broke his wrist so we had to hold him driving for a bit. We were also getting Isaac to the finish line of driving. 

 Isaac now is driving ... and Sidge is driving with a permit.

Emmy

 

All of our puppies have a home except Emmy. We have two people coming to see her tomorrow so we are hopeful that she will be going home soon. We are also dogsitting this week so we currently have FIVE dogs here!

Tuesday Truth

 

The puppies are going home

Five of our puppies have now gone home. There are three left. One will go home TODAY. The other two are here a few more days. Hershey went home to a friend of our's: YULIANA.  He will be a chicken guarder.

 

 

This will be Maui. He went home with a Mom and her daughter!

 

Anzlee and Troy were so excited to add Tootsie to their family. They are new homesteaders and she will be a working dog.

Elisabeth (a friend from ballet!) got Biscuit. This is their second puppy. They took home "Bean" in the last litter. They kept the tails on both of their dogs.

My Aunt Connie has "George" back in Michigan now!

Life Right Now

I am doing really well.It feels so good to be able to say that.

I

AM

DOING

REALLY

WELL.

If I am being honest, I know there will probably be another dip. And anytime I am in a dip I think: "Will I feel this way forever?" It is the weirdest thing to just not completely feel like yourself. And it's hard to believe you won't feel that way forever. 

Here are some things going on in our life while things are going well for me.

• Isaac will participate in his SECOND weekend of Sound of Music coming up.
• Isaac is DRIVING! He has his license!
• Hannah has been helping Grama all week babysitting little two-year-old cousin, Russ. His Mom (Aunt Katie) works full-time. His Dad (Uncle Eddie) is trying to finish the new baby's bedroom. After 17 years married, Katie finds herself pregnant at 41 and 43!
• Aunt Betsy has moved here! Aunt Betsy is Grama's older sister. She has left South Florida after living nearly her entire life there. 
• Sidge has his cast off. He's in a wrist brace now. 
• Abigail has a break from ballet right now. It's really nice to have a TRUE summer vacation. 
• My cousin Cara, who has been my ROCK during this journey is out of town, and I am living without her :)
• I'm busy working on preparing for THREE main classes I will be "teaching this upcoming school year. I'm going to be writing about that in a separate post. 

I'm excited that I will be able to write more here ... not only about what I am learning but just about life in general!

Catching Chickens

Here is a fun video showing what catching chickens is like for us: 

Sound of Music

Grampa and Grama went last night! 

John took the kids (and Shraders) tonight. 

I am going to go see Sunday’s performance. 

Isaac doesn’t have a huge role, but it’s been fun for him just the same. I am so proud at the hard work he puts into this thing he greatly loves.

He chose you

Four women: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba. One had affairs, one was a prostitute, one lied, one was an adulteress... none of them were starry eyed perfect princesses. Four broken women. And yet God chose them... these four broken women, to be grandmothers in Jesus’ family tree. He crowned them with grace and love. Queens for His kingdom. 

Today you may feel broken. You may feel like an outsider, a has-been, a never-been. Weary of being taken advantage of, of being unnoticed, uncherished, and unappreciated. Like you don’t fit in, like you don’t know how to keep going, or what to believe, or where to go. You may feel like you want to give up. 

And yet God chooses you. He grafts you into His line, His story, and His heart. He gives you His name, His lineage, and His righteousness. He calls you His very own.

📷 Tricia Robinson

The vet wore us all out!

Continuing to Grow

Here is the short of it: 

I currently have an "adjustment disorder."

That may sound fancy, but Kim told me that today, and it really helped explain to me what is going on. 

Back in March, I came face-to-face with the facts that my way of coping with life was NOT working. Unlike some people who are doing that coping through alcohol or anger, mine was much harder to see. But it was there. 

And so now I am healing. 

But in the course of that healing, I continue to have good and bad days. Although, honestly, it's more like good and bad weeks. But each time I get into a "rut", my Jesus shows up to help me get out of the rut.

It happened again this morning. 

Other than a little break in the sadness when we were on Kiawah Island (which I think was just a special gift from God), I had been going on about a week and a half of hard stuff. No one is worried about this except me. My "team" (which includes John, my counselor, and four trusted humans) doesn't worry.

But I do. I get so AFRAID of going into the depths of despair. Even as I write this, the fear gone, I can try to tell myself not to fear the next time. And yet the next time comes, and I fear again.

But this morning, the Lord brought FOUR people to me AT THE SAME TIME who said the EXACT same thing to me. 

It started with one friend telling me that I didn't have to "perform" for her to be my friend. She was JUST my friend. 

John then came into the room where I was crying. I told him that when I got like this, I felt so useless. He said the exact same thing my friend had just said. He said: "Wendi, if you were paralyzed, I'd still be your husband even if you could do nothing."

Sidenote: being paralyzed has always been a huge fear of mine. While John always said "as long as I can read, I'm good", I always said: "Do NOT let me live like that."

Then my cousin messaged me with nearly the same message. And an aunt. I don't have to BE or DO to be VALUED. If all I could do was lay there and drool, I have VALUE. EVERY LIFE HAS VALUE. 

But did I believe that?

If you would have asked me, I would have said that I did. But somewhere, inside of me, my value was connected to my USEFULNESS. I have to be USEFUL for you to be my friend. I can't just BE your friend.

MIND.

BLOWN.

As I sit here typing, I'm realizing even MORE clearly how true this is: always. I always had to DO something to be "present" with someone. If I babysat, I couldn't just babysit. I had to clean vehemently. If I had a friend, I needed to give to them equally or more than they gave to me. I needed to help my teammates with their schoolwork so they valued me. I needed to go the extra mile ... 

... and I didn't require a pat-on-the-back for these things I did. (Although those are nice.) I simply did it because I needed to do it to find my value. 

Not only did four people confirm these things for me, but then, I had a counseling appt. scheduled for today (that was supposed to be tomorrow but got moved to Tuesday.)

HOW MANY TIMES CAN GOD SHOW UP BEFORE I TRUST THAT HE WILL SHOW UP?

Apparently, one more time is what I need ... always need him to do it the next time. 

Mannnnnnn....

I am learning so much and very fast. But it is simply EXHAUSTING. I am so PHYSICALLY exhausted from this journey. I really am not battling depression here. I am battling HEALING FROM BAD THINKING. 

Not sure what he plans to show me next. 

But I'm hoping I get a few weeks off. :) 

Kiawah — Nite 3

On the first night, we did dinner at THE ATLANTIC ROOM. I shared a picture of that previously, but I’ll share ur again: 

Nite #2 was dinner at MINGO POINT. This is more of a bbq-style meal that everyone at the Conference is invited to. 

Last night, we had dinner at the main restaurant on the island. This is very fancy — a once a year splurge. Here are some photos from that: 

We had dinner with three families, but Randy (in the back) is the main guy that got this all set up!




They put us in a private room FOR FREE!

Kiawah flashback

Last year’s girls at the conference. This is a medical conference. Our main “peeps” that we are there with are Randy and his wife Whitney and their two girls: Riley and Ryan. But there are a few other families there too!

And here they are this year; from front Kiara, Franchesca, Hannah, Ryan, Abigail, Riley

Friday Funny

Kiawah Nite #1

Kiawah Island

The Lord is so sweet … we are headed out for a four-day medical conference and vacation. I have been trending better and better but am still struggling a bit with some depression and fatigue. However, nearly AS we crossed the bridge to Kiawah, I felt my mood go to nearly a 0 out of 10. (Zero is good! Ten is bad!) 

I am so incredibly blessed to have this time with my family and hopefully feel so GOOD! Usually the good comes in long waves so I am hope I am in for a good stretch! (Maybe a nearly forever stretch?!)

(The first picture is cookies Abigail found in her bag from Costa Rica!!)

Our farm — sweetness

Tuesday Truth

Chicken processing

How did I ...

 .... drop my Blog for almost a week? Ugh! I am really trying to check-in everyday and the days run away so fast. Chicken processing happened. I'll post some pictures of that!