Monday, January 22, 2018

We Bought a Farm: Feeling the Pressure

I'm already a homeschooling mom and a farmer's wife. That alone, I've decided is enough for me.

Add to it the ballet, house renovations, and a husband with a bad back, and that's my tipping point.

I know it's good to be positive. I know it's good to not get negative. I know it's good to keep things in perspective.

And I didn't do any of that.

John told me that I am looking around and seeing fires when in fact there are simply some little sparks here and there. I know that's true. I hear what he's saying. And yet I still sometimes just can't see straight because I get so overwhelmed.

Today I reached out to a few friends to ask them to pray for me. I shared what was burdening me. The list included:

  • JB was going on a mother run of shifts, and we needed to get all three of our main animal groups moved this morning.
  • JB's back is bothering him meaning I have to take more of a load on these moves. 
  • The kids have schoolwork to get done for the day. 
  • Our housekeeper was coming that morning which meant I had to get some things prepared for her arrival. 
  • I had a clean clothes pile in the hallway of my bedroom that was still waiting to find a home. 
  • We are hoping to get started on our home within the next few weeks, and I have to get our entire upstairs emptied. 
  • When they start working on the house, they will start upstairs. This means that until it is done, we will live all six of us in our master bedroom. 
  • I have no idea where to put everything! I mean I am already putting things in the garage and the camper and the woofer area. But we have a lot of things we need every day to live! How do you fit six people's clothes in a closet designed for two people?
  • Abigail had a regular ballet practice today at 3:45pm
  • It was my job to cook dinner. 
  • My in-laws weren't around for the day.
  • The boys' bedroom was an absolute disaster.
  • I'm taking piano lessons and hadn't practiced at all this week.
  • We have two more full day ballet rehearsals and then four shows in the next six days!!!
Okay so that's just a quick overview of what was flying through my mind this morning. I kept trying to talk myself down off the cliff. It wasn't as bad as I thought, was it? But I just couldn't wrap my head around it. My poor husband was watching me lose my mom-mind, and trying to encourage me, but I wasn't very encourage-able.

That's when I asked my friends to pray. And somehow, the day actually went better than I hoped. We got our ewes, rams, and pigs moved in about 2.5 hours. I was back at the house by noon. We scrapped any school work for the day. I skipped ballet practice. We had leftovers for dinner. And I gave the laundry to two kids as a punishment. I just forgot about the boys' room for the day. Ha! When my in-laws got back late that afternoon, I willingly let them take all the kids for an hour so I could just regroup.

I truly believe that when I reach out for prayer, even when I am not really praying myself, I am held up. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed, remember ... REACH OUT! Ask for prayer. Ask for help. Don't be alone. Don't feel alone. We are not alone!


Anonymous said...

I hear your frustration and am praying for you. Wish I could give you a hug in person.

I’m not very good at sending comments, sometimes I can’t figure out all the different selections
So I will sign my name and click anonymous.

Just want you to know many are praying for you and holding you up.


Anonymous said...

I love this! I find if I can get my prayer time in in the morning -my brain starts organizing how I can face the burdens I'm giving Him...and even more when I ask someone to pray! Thanks for this reminder...Also -re: the move -you might want to ask Hannah for any tricks-I know she had to get EVERYthng ready for their house to be done and move 3 times with 5 kids while the workers were doing their job on their house...she is an amazing organizer and probably found ways to handle where to put everything...Also, when I'm stuck for supper if no leftovers I can make an AWEsom omelette filled w/ veggies and cheese and toast: Good and healthy-I think Isaac can't have eggs so maybe he could have French toast sprinkled w/ cinnamon for a night :) Oh forget it -they will ALL want the french toast sprinkled w/ cinnamon! love you dear niece -what a blessing you have friends you can reach out to like that!!! xo

TAV said...

You are not alone!! I feel so in over my head most days— I think all moms do! Read “Overwhelmed” by Brigid Schulte (?sp). Keep praying and meditating helps!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for being so open and honest. I too have recently been struggling with work, family and personal loads that were getting to be too much for me. One thing I wanted to pass along was that I started using a planner (Passion Planner) which was done wonders. Not sure if you use one, but I highly recommend. It has been helpful for me to track everything in my life and also allows me to sketch out my to-dos for the week. Then each day I only let myself worry about what needs to be done that day instead of juggling all of the week's to-do's in my head and getting overwhelmed. Thanks again!