Tribe Life Tuesday: To Trust or Not to Trust

A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~ 

sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!

OMG does this quality get me! 

Trust is… well, it’s good, its hard, its uncomfortable. Its one of those etherial qualities and is profoundly layered. This is all well and good, but the mere definition of trust doesn’t answer two important questions: 

How do you gain someone’s trust?

How do you know who to trust? 

These questions are where we begin our conversation today. 

I used to think their were two types of people: 

1. the trust everyone type 
2. and the trust no one type. 

I was wrong; there is one other type and it’s the sagacious (perceptive) kind. These are the ones who are aware of and follow their "gut instincts”. And I think we can all learn from this sagacious kind. 

Things so often seem to have to be black and white or yes or no but, my oh my, there is so much gray in the world, and I like to stay in that space on some subjects, including this one. The side of trust everyone, can be a bit naive, and we can land ourselves in a world of hurt if we are not careful. At the same time, the trust no one types can be a bit antagonistic. 

The sagacious types seem to be the ones who can embrace you and yet keep you at arms length, which is quite a skill. These are the ones who balance giving someone a place to be accepted while keeping awareness and healthily guarding themselves. 

So ... to trust or not to trust? 

Trust is a weighty, multi-faceted thing. It is so much more than a word; it’s, to some degree, a characteristic and there is still so much more to it than even this. 

I love this definition of trust by Charles Feltman, who says: “trust is choosing to make something important to me, vulnerable to the actions of someone else.” He goes on to say that distrust is when “what I have shared with you that is important to me is not safe with you.” 

That challenges me so deeply. I have so much more to share with you on this topic, but I want to reflect on all of this first. 

Before we part, I want to leave you with these two final questions:  

1. Are you someone who can be trusted? 
2. Would your friends and family call you trustworthy?

Thank you for reading.

See you next Tuesday,

Carrie