Time is set for Friday

Update: The nurse called and they have moved my time back to 6:30 a.m. I also talked to her how about I was still not feeling well. I went to work today but only for about three hours before I was too tired and hurting too much. She said that because I had so many eggs, my ovaries are very swollen which is why I am still so uncomfortable.

I also wanted to answer two questions that I have been asked a lot.

The first is when will we know if this worked. The answer is about 2 weeks -- around May 26th or 27th.

The second question is if I will be on bed rest at all. This is kind of a "debate" in IVF circles. There is no required bed rest, however, I will pretty loopy after this procedure (they give me meds to relax me), and I plan to try to take Friday at least and stay off of my feet. I will also try to stay off my feet for most of Saturday as well. They say it can't hurt even though it might not necessarily help. I also have a lot of restrictions over the two weeks that follow until the pregnancy test including no vacuuming, no lifting, no exercise etc.

Either JB or myself will try to update some time tomorrow although there won't be too much to report. We will simply see them drop the embryos in and then wait!

I'm sorry that all my posts are about IVF stuff lately. I promise that eventually, our blog will begin to offer some extended variety. Maybe, just for my cousin Josh, I can get JB to make some comments on peanut butter again. Josh really seemed to bond with that post.

But I won't be talking about IVF and infertility everyday. In fact, our friend Bara has promised to do a guest blog next week. But for right now, IVF is really the only thing I think about and so, that obviously comes out in my writing.

We got the message on Wednesday afternoon. 7:00 a.m. Friday it is. We go in first thing Friday morning to transfer 2 little embryos into my womb. We will actually do this as an ultrasound image is up on the screen so we will actually see the embryos dropped in. How awesome is that?

What's hard to believe is that those 6 embryos are fertilized babies! It is so hard to remember. As JB said, as of Friday, he is saying that I am officially pregnant. Of course I am not pregnant unless the embryos hang on. We just need those two little embryos to stick to the wall. They have ONE job -- STICK! I am thinking they can pull through and do this for us. But we, technically, have six little children. It's all so surreal.

I spend quite a bit of time on Hannah's Prayer. It is an online discussion board for all aspects of infertility. When I posted my results today, I was a little down, but Jenny Saaki who is the founder of Hannah's Prayer wrote me this quick post: "Wendi, congratulations on being a Mommy 6 times over! Praying for you and these precious little lives." I also got all kinds of other encouragement including: "I am really sorry about the surprising news in the middle of all of this Cycle!!! However I prefer to look at the brighter side... Six is a great number!!!! Congs on your precious babies. Praying for' you, dh and your precious babies!!!" Another post read: "God bless you Wendi. Still hoping and praying for your success with this IVF. As hard as it is, please try to not focus on all the details. It is easier said than done, and I certainly did not practice what I am preaching to you. Try as hard as you can to let go and let God." And then, "Praying for you and your six little ones -- it's an incredible feeling to know that you and your husband have children!!! Focus on that this week."

These comments were amazing to me. Do we have children right now? In a sense, yes. As I said, it's quite a confusing feeling actually knowing we have already conceived. Weird.

I don't know why but seeing these posts made me cry. (Well most everything is making me cry lately). I've never been pregnant, never been a mom, and for the first time, I feel so overwhelmed with these 6 embryos. JB and I are not selfish. If out of the six, we conceive one time, I will be blessed beyond measure. One is plenty for me. We always wanted a lot of children. JB's senior "prophecy" said that he and his wife Wendi would have a house full of little "Robbie's" (Robbie is JB's youngest brother). Now I don't want my daughter to look like Robbie or anything (no offense Robbie), but just one child and not a houseful would make my heart rest.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't want this quite so badly. Sometimes I wish that I was just okay with a family of two. But I want it more than anything. I remember one of my aunts telling me when I got married that there were two occasions in your life that you would remember forever: your wedding and the birth of your child/ren. I remember thinking: what if I never get to experience that? Of course, I know I am blessed with my wonderful husband, but we so want to include our own flesh and blood in the equation. At one of my bridal showers someone gave me a baby bootie and told me I'd get the other one and find out who knitted it, when we had our first child. I want to get that other bootie.

I know the Lord has us in the palm of His hand. I know He will take care of us and bring us to a place of peace. Please pray that I have peace over the next few weeks. I just want peace and I want to be positive. It is hard to be positive when you are scared. You want to be positive but don't want to get your hopes up. How do you do all of that? I don't know.

I just know I am so blessed by all the people praying. Please keep praying for me and our 6 embryos. Also pray that I am positive and upbeat and quit trying to protect my heart by not getting hopeful. I was talking to a great friend today -- all the non-hoping won't stop your heart from hurting when disappointment comes along so why not hope and be positive.

Thanks for loving, encouraging, and praying. It means the world to me. Thanks for listening to my words and understanding. This blog is very healing to me. Even if no one else reads it, to be able to see my growth through the storm is so wonderful.